Don’t Read This, Redhead — Spoilers Below

by The Nittany Turkey on May 13, 2008

in Television

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Private note to The Redhead: Read the comments to the next post first. Then you can come back here for more.

THAT SAID (lqtm), tonight determined the composition of the American Idol final next week. We’ll offer some stupid justifications for what we think SHOULD be the final matchup. Who the hell knows who will be the final two, given what else has happened this season.

Well, according to Sir Wannabe (Simon Cowell, that is), David Cook won the evening’s competition, with which I agree. I also agreed with Paula Abdul when she said that Syesha’s performance was not good enough to get her through to the final. But she sure as hell looks good! (Syesha, not Paula, although the latter ain’t bad for her age.) Archuleta, of course, got the unanimous endorsement of all three judges. God forbid they should ever speak blasphemies against the baby-faced presumptive American Idol. (I thought Abraham put an end to that idol worshiping crap a few thousand years ago.)

Parts of I-95 are melting in intense brush fires near Cocoa, but Syesha was hotter. Her breathtakingly steamy outfits won’t be enough to save her fine, cafe-au-lait ass. She’s been hanging by a thread for the past few weeks, but Simon was absolutely correct that she peaked last week with the Sam Cooke number. Furthermore, in a rare moment of lucidity, Paula told Syesha that her work tonight wasn’t good enough to get her into the final. So, one has to believe that she’s gone.

REDHEAD BAIT ALERT!

Sadly, Archuleta will breeze through to the next round like a prune through a blue tick coon hound, but fortunately, Cook will offer some serious competition. I demand that Cook shows up for this competition! If he mails it in, he’ll lose. I’m not prepared to accept the premature coronation of David Archuleta any more than I’m prepared to accept the premature coronation of Barack Obama, whose campaign pretty much resembles Archuleta’s (young, naive, and not ready for prime time).

On Wednesday’s results show, Fantasia will perform. I never liked her all that much. I liked runner-up Diana DeGarmo better. (She’s doing Broadway musicals now, just in case you wanted to know.)

{ 122 comments… read them below or add one }

The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:26 pm

Ryan Seacrest is full of s–t.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:27 pm

He eats it, which is why he’s full of it.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:27 pm

Kristy!

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:28 pm

Question, Turkey:

I’ve been reading a lot about the new video game, Grand Theft Auto IV. It really looks like something I’d like to fool with. Bob and I were at Blockbuster and I was going to rent it but Bob pointed out that you need a “Play Station.” Oh. Do you know if any of those games come on DVD so you can just pop them into your computer?

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:28 pm

And now, a word…

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:29 pm

GTA4 only runs on XBOX 360 and PS3.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:30 pm

But if you get a PS3, then you have the added bonus of a Blu-Ray DVD player! So talk Bob into it.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:31 pm

I have one of the Grand Theft Auto series here, and I have a PS2 I’m not using, if you want to get a feel for GTA.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Syesha is hottttttttttttttt

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:33 pm

You will be hypnotized by Paula’s neck pendant.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:34 pm

That would be great!

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:34 pm

Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:35 pm

So what happens now? Don’t they have to drag this out to the very end of the show?

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:35 pm

Syesha goes to Sun City.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:35 pm

These bits really try the viewer.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Yeah, they’re going to drag it out til news time.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:36 pm

I want to see Paula’s pendant again.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:37 pm

Man, take us–and these kids–out of our misery.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:38 pm

What’s the snack tonight, Turkey?

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:38 pm

A roast beef sandwich and maybe a glass of Scotch in a minute or two.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:39 pm

I can’t figure out how to recommend movies on Netflix with all their stupid interface changes, but let me take this opportunity to recommend Atonement if you haven’t already seen it.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:39 pm

Watched a compelling documentary about the 1996 Everest expedition that ended in disaster.

I’m almost finished reading High Crimes about the 2004 expedition. I recommend it!

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:40 pm

Bob and I watched Atonement a couple of weeks ago–we loved it. Five stars from us.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:41 pm

From me, too.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Weird. Turkey, if you look up at one of my recent comments, it says in bold (next to the heading): Your comment is awaiting moderation.

What’s up with that?

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:41 pm

I think Robbie gave Briony the vascular dementia; he caught from some French babe.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:42 pm

Maybe you said a bad word. I’ll go moderate it.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:43 pm

Wow–what is this–Beatle Mania?

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:44 pm

If you just click the “star” rating on NetFlix, I’ll get an idea of how you felt about the film. You should be able to do that by just clicking on the stars on the Friends page.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:45 pm

But if I didn’t rent it from Netflix, I’m SOL?

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:46 pm

You know, Math Guy and I are heading for Boston Friday? Actually, we’ll be spending the majority of the time in New Hampshire).

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:46 pm

Geez, David has a 12 year-old of his own!

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:46 pm

Yes, I’m aware of the New England jaunt and the reason for it.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:46 pm

Not at all! You just search that film on the site, then click the stars to rate. It will then (in a day or so) show up on the movies you’ve watched on the Friends page.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:48 pm

Getting to throw out the first pitch for the Royals was cool.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:48 pm

Yes, it is a difficult reason. But we’re also going to spend some time with Bob’s niece, Karen, and her boyfriend who has a place in N.H. Her boyfriend wrote the screenplay for the film, Klute! Loved that movie. Bob and I watched it (again for me) tonight. I can’t wait to meet this guy and ask him all about it!

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:48 pm

Oh, it’s the “day or so” shit that put me off.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:50 pm

Her boyfriend must be an old fart, if he wrote Klute. Hell, I saw that movie when I was 25 or so.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:50 pm

He was nominated for an Oscar? I want to ask him what the awards show is like when you are actually there, and if the awards really are legit or a bunch of bulls–t.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:50 pm

Award shows are all a bunch of bullshit.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:50 pm

Yeah, 1971. He also wrote a lot of episodes for the TV shows, The Virginian, Lancer, The FBI, and Profiles in Courage.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:51 pm

Here we go…after the break.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:52 pm

So, I figure you for Not-A-Jane-Fonda-Fan.

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:52 pm

Of them, The FBI was the only one I watched. Never even heard of Lancer. The Virginian was with some Drury guy in the lead–was that the one with the Dynasty babe, too?

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:52 pm

And Lee Majors?

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:53 pm

Klute was from before Jane went Commie.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:53 pm

No, the Dynasty babe was in High Chaperal (I think).

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Klute was just around the time she posed with the NVA.

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The Redhead May 14, 2008 at 9:55 pm

Okay….who is going home?????

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The Nittany Turkey May 14, 2008 at 9:55 pm

Here we go…break is over.

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