The Voice vs. The Edge

by The Nittany Turkey on May 20, 2008

in Television

  • Sharebar

American Idol has boiled down to leave two men standing, and one stretches the masculinity point, as he has not yet started to shave. It will be pop versus rock, “The Voice” versus “The Edge,” David Archuleta versus David Cook. Chief Justice Simon Cowell predicts that the final competition this week will be “a humdinger.”

The majority voting demographic, aged 9-13, upon hearing the word “humdinger,” told their parents and teachers that Simon said a bad word. But I digress.

Last week, the expected finally happened. Syesha Mercado could have sung perfectly and passionately but she still would have been out. As it were, she screwed up in song choice and faltered in her performance, all duly noted by the vapid judges who seemed to want to push her out in favor of a David vs. David finish. The voters complied with the judges’ wishes.

This will be the first all-male final since Season Two’s Ruben Studdard vs. Clay Aiken showdown, if you consider Clay Aiken male. Studdard won that one, but Aiken wound up with arguably the better career to date.

Mark Perigard of The Boston Herald thinks that being runner-up would suit the little shaver Archuleta better, in that the little pipsqueak isn’t yet ready for the grueling demands of Idoldom, especially if his meddling stage father keeps his finger in the pie. Perigard astutely posits that the more mature Cook, a 25 year-old former bartender, is fully cognizant of the onerous path ahead and has already resigned himself to the Faustian bargain he will have to make as an American Idol.

Cook’s performing style better suits this Turkey’s preferences—much better. That in itself might doom him to runnerupitude. Chris Daughtry (now calling himself just Daughtry), with a similar, albeit more expansive and harder-edged rock style, was the Turkey’s favorite a few years ago for the same reason, which undoubtedly gave him the Turkey Kiss of Death, at least with respect to the Idol competition. I hope I don’t doom Cook similarly.

Archuleta, with the smarmy voice, the closed eyes, the look of a small town, junior high talent night performer trying to please his dad. That characterization is more fact than folly. Although he has been the judges’ favorite from the start, his potential is limited to being the next Perry Como.

“Whodat?” saith the teeny weenies.

Well, maybe every generation needs a Perry Como. Or a Josh Groban, maybe.

Cook and Archuleta will each sing three songs during the show: one to be selected by industry legend Clive Davis, one by viewers of the show via an online poll, and, finally, one will be chosen by the contestants, either a new song or one previously sung in the competition.

The voters, of course, get to decide who wins this thing, but Idol’s producers seem to be subtly steering things Archuleta’s way. It has been leaked out in a veiled manner by Nigel Lythgoe to Ryan Seacrest, on the latter’s morning radio show, that the guest stars on Tuesday night will be “some young brothers” and “the biggest star in the world.” On-line pundits seem to be speculating that these references are to the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus, respectively. If this is to be the case, it will satisfy a younger, more Archuleta sympathetic crowd.

Will this year’s idol be a true star, as former Idols Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood turned out to be? Or will he be a dud, like Taylor Hicks or last year’s winner, Jordin Sparks? No one can say. The only thing predictable is the music industry’s unpredictability.

And with that, let the overhyped battle begin.

{ 141 comments… read them below or add one }

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:20 pm

Elton John stuff is hard to perform because because because…

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:21 pm

I have to say though, I kinda liked it.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:21 pm

Yo … yo…

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:21 pm

How many times has Randy said “you picked the right time to peak?”

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:21 pm

Paula is having an orgasm.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:22 pm

Wow. Way to hype it, Simon.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:22 pm

You were right…sort of :)

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:23 pm

About Paula’s orgasm?

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:24 pm

I think she brought her Pocket Rocket along with her tonight.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:26 pm

And a can of Crisco for lubrication.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:27 pm

Ohboyohboy…can’t wait to see Miley Cyrus tomorrow night….NOT!!!!!!!!!

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:28 pm

I’d rather see Joe Montana than Hannah Montanah.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:28 pm

Say what you will about Andrew L. Weber, but he’s had some of the best comments and insights about performance that I’ve heard all season.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:28 pm

Yeah, if you’re gonna go for it, go for the gold.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:29 pm

No, you were right that David A. would win Round One.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:29 pm

This is more like what I’m looking for from Cooking For.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:30 pm

I’m in the zone today.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:30 pm

I’ve never heard of this song, and frankly hope I don’t have to hear it again.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Yo…yo….

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Yeah, The Twilight Zone :)

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:31 pm

The pink dress … um yeah.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:31 pm

Simon isn’t thrilled. I think the song sucked–not David.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:32 pm

Huh? What did Paula mean it “wasn’t the winning song?” Did she give something away…again????

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:32 pm

Paula … Paula … Paula …

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:32 pm

OMG A CONSPIRACY!!!! WHAT …. DID …. IT ……..MEAN????

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:33 pm

Correct me if I’m wrong, but did Paula just give something away?

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:33 pm

Oh, cool. 3-D motion picture event. Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D!

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Well Turkey, if you’re in the “zone” you should know what it meant!

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Paula is not connected to reality in any way. How can she give something away? She doesn’t know how people will vote.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:34 pm

I thought the original version was a big disappointment. Now it will suck in 3-D.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Quiet. I like this Old Navy commercial.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:35 pm

Who is going to win Round Four?

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:36 pm

Paula!!!

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:37 pm

I think OP must have worked OT to design that anchor jacket.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:37 pm

I’m bored with this sappy ballad.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:38 pm

Great acrylic job there, babe.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:38 pm

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:38 pm

Ewwwwwww

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:39 pm

What the hell was so great about that?

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:39 pm

Randy needs some new material.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:39 pm

Paula needs another drink or four.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:40 pm

And the five year-old applauds manically.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:42 pm

I’m looking forward to my colonoscopy prep tomorrow more than I’m looking forward to Archuleta’s next song.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:43 pm

Snoring is heard throughout the land.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:44 pm

Now Turkey, that is just sick, dude!

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:45 pm

“Sick” defines my mentality.

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:46 pm

Imagine all the snoringggggggggggggg

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:47 pm

I think he should have picked a heavy metal tune instead of this acoustic crap.

Reply

The Redhead May 20, 2008 at 8:48 pm

I like this song…who does it originally?

Reply

The Nittany Turkey May 20, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Yo… yo….

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: