American Idol has boiled down to leave two men standing, and one stretches the masculinity point, as he has not yet started to shave. It will be pop versus rock, “The Voice” versus “The Edge,” David Archuleta versus David Cook. Chief Justice Simon Cowell predicts that the final competition this week will be “a humdinger.”
The majority voting demographic, aged 9-13, upon hearing the word “humdinger,” told their parents and teachers that Simon said a bad word. But I digress.
Last week, the expected finally happened. Syesha Mercado could have sung perfectly and passionately but she still would have been out. As it were, she screwed up in song choice and faltered in her performance, all duly noted by the vapid judges who seemed to want to push her out in favor of a David vs. David finish. The voters complied with the judges’ wishes.
This will be the first all-male final since Season Two’s Ruben Studdard vs. Clay Aiken showdown, if you consider Clay Aiken male. Studdard won that one, but Aiken wound up with arguably the better career to date.
Mark Perigard of The Boston Herald thinks that being runner-up would suit the little shaver Archuleta better, in that the little pipsqueak isn’t yet ready for the grueling demands of Idoldom, especially if his meddling stage father keeps his finger in the pie. Perigard astutely posits that the more mature Cook, a 25 year-old former bartender, is fully cognizant of the onerous path ahead and has already resigned himself to the Faustian bargain he will have to make as an American Idol.
Cook’s performing style better suits this Turkey’s preferences—much better. That in itself might doom him to runnerupitude. Chris Daughtry (now calling himself just Daughtry), with a similar, albeit more expansive and harder-edged rock style, was the Turkey’s favorite a few years ago for the same reason, which undoubtedly gave him the Turkey Kiss of Death, at least with respect to the Idol competition. I hope I don’t doom Cook similarly.
Archuleta, with the smarmy voice, the closed eyes, the look of a small town, junior high talent night performer trying to please his dad. That characterization is more fact than folly. Although he has been the judges’ favorite from the start, his potential is limited to being the next Perry Como.
“Whodat?” saith the teeny weenies.
Well, maybe every generation needs a Perry Como. Or a Josh Groban, maybe.
Cook and Archuleta will each sing three songs during the show: one to be selected by industry legend Clive Davis, one by viewers of the show via an online poll, and, finally, one will be chosen by the contestants, either a new song or one previously sung in the competition.
The voters, of course, get to decide who wins this thing, but Idol’s producers seem to be subtly steering things Archuleta’s way. It has been leaked out in a veiled manner by Nigel Lythgoe to Ryan Seacrest, on the latter’s morning radio show, that the guest stars on Tuesday night will be “some young brothers” and “the biggest star in the world.” On-line pundits seem to be speculating that these references are to the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus, respectively. If this is to be the case, it will satisfy a younger, more Archuleta sympathetic crowd.
Will this year’s idol be a true star, as former Idols Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood turned out to be? Or will he be a dud, like Taylor Hicks or last year’s winner, Jordin Sparks? No one can say. The only thing predictable is the music industry’s unpredictability.
And with that, let the overhyped battle begin.


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Elton John stuff is hard to perform because because because…
I have to say though, I kinda liked it.
Yo … yo…
How many times has Randy said “you picked the right time to peak?”
Paula is having an orgasm.
Wow. Way to hype it, Simon.
You were right…sort of
About Paula’s orgasm?
I think she brought her Pocket Rocket along with her tonight.
And a can of Crisco for lubrication.
Ohboyohboy…can’t wait to see Miley Cyrus tomorrow night….NOT!!!!!!!!!
I’d rather see Joe Montana than Hannah Montanah.
Say what you will about Andrew L. Weber, but he’s had some of the best comments and insights about performance that I’ve heard all season.
Yeah, if you’re gonna go for it, go for the gold.
No, you were right that David A. would win Round One.
This is more like what I’m looking for from Cooking For.
I’m in the zone today.
I’ve never heard of this song, and frankly hope I don’t have to hear it again.
Yo…yo….
Yeah, The Twilight Zone
The pink dress … um yeah.
Simon isn’t thrilled. I think the song sucked–not David.
Huh? What did Paula mean it “wasn’t the winning song?” Did she give something away…again????
Paula … Paula … Paula …
OMG A CONSPIRACY!!!! WHAT …. DID …. IT ……..MEAN????
Correct me if I’m wrong, but did Paula just give something away?
Oh, cool. 3-D motion picture event. Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D!
Well Turkey, if you’re in the “zone” you should know what it meant!
Paula is not connected to reality in any way. How can she give something away? She doesn’t know how people will vote.
I thought the original version was a big disappointment. Now it will suck in 3-D.
Quiet. I like this Old Navy commercial.
Who is going to win Round Four?
Paula!!!
I think OP must have worked OT to design that anchor jacket.
I’m bored with this sappy ballad.
Great acrylic job there, babe.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Ewwwwwww
What the hell was so great about that?
Randy needs some new material.
Paula needs another drink or four.
And the five year-old applauds manically.
I’m looking forward to my colonoscopy prep tomorrow more than I’m looking forward to Archuleta’s next song.
Snoring is heard throughout the land.
Now Turkey, that is just sick, dude!
“Sick” defines my mentality.
Imagine all the snoringggggggggggggg
I think he should have picked a heavy metal tune instead of this acoustic crap.
I like this song…who does it originally?
Yo… yo….
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