So Long, Stripper!

Against the ludicrous backdrop of American Idol’s last year’s scourge, Sanjaya Malakar, coming back to sit in the audience like a bad penny (or a latter-day William Hung), along with a sleazily contrived movie promo that featured Jim Carrey dressed like an elephant popping up at every turn, we watched the first round of eliminations last week, in which the Top 12 were pared down to 11. Erstwhile male stripper David Hernandez was the first finalist to go byebye.

In this Turkey’s opinion, Hernandez’ performance was superior to those of Kristy Lee Cook and Syesha Mercado, but perhaps that opinion reflects the Turkey’s legendary male Chauvinism. In any case, while it is possible that the nefarious information about Hernandez stripping for pay in front of a male audience cost him some votes, his overblown performance last Tuesday surely did not improve his chances with the voting public.

The results show featured a weird performance by last year’s beatboxer, Blake Lewis. Perhaps I just don’t like that kind of novelty crap. However, former Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee also was featured along with David Foster, and McPhee’s legs and butt are better than ever. I approve of the selection of a silver sequined, mid-thigh bottomed sheath for her outfit. It showed off all her star attributes, with which she should have beaten flash-in-the-pan Taylor Hicks that night a couple of years ago. Something must have been in the water when America voted.

This week we once again will be viewing performances from the Lennon-McCartney songbook. In other words, the producers paid dearly for the rights to use it and they’ll damn well milk it for all they can. C’mon folks, ask for yet one more week—Paul needs the money, given that the divorce settlement totaled about $44 million.

I am hoping for a strong performance tonight by Ramiele Malubay (who says she’s from Miramar, Florida, but the Orlando Sentinel has claimed her as our own). Ramiele has a big voice for a little girl, but she has slipped in recent weeks from looking at one point as if she could win it all. Self-confidence might be an issue with her. From the guys, I was really energized by Chikezie’s imaginatively produced and delivered number last week, and hope for more of the same this week. I am further hoping for a nice, revealing, form fitting outfit for this Turkey’s favorite blond equestrian eye candy, Kristy Lee Cook, as this could well be her last week. (You know what “they” say about too many cooks…) If Kristy’s number isn’t up, Syesha better hope that her very pretty and electric smile saves her fine ass for another week.

I would look for some hard rocking stylings by David Cook and Amanda Overmyer. They’re the edgy ones in this year’s final group.

Oh, and David Archuleta will certainly survive at least several more weeks, inasmuch as the pre-pubescent and early teen girls comprising a large segment of the voting audience are solidly in his camp. His singing had been solid up to the past couple of weeks, but confidence issues suddenly might be getting in the way.

It remains to be seen whether Paula will be lucid or out of it; whether Simon Cowell will spend the evening Scowelling; and whether Seacrest will continue to throw instigating barbs at Simon. If you didn’t read last week’s column, I likened the judges to children: Fat Albert, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, and Eddie Haskell.

Tagged as: Television