Archive for April, 2008

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Simon, in Rare Form, Boots Syesha

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

Last night on an American Idol show that Simon Cowell proclaimed the weirdest of all, the droll judge told Syesha Mercado that she would be leaving us tonight.

I have to concur—not because she sang poorly, but because she was in the bottom two last week after delivering what was arguably the best job of the week, and certainly the best dressed. If the prepubescent girls who comprise the lion’s share of the voting populace are not behind Syesha, she will be a loser no matter how well she does (and looks) on the stage.

You have to believe that Jason Castro will survive another week for the same reason. The teeny-boppers like his dreadlocks, and there ya go. His singing was pure crap on Tuesday night, which I likened to an imprompty college dorm sing-along on a Friday night attended by losers who couldn’t get laid. Bring your guitar and let’s jam, man. Yeah, and wonder why you can’t get laid.

Well, Jason could, but his groupies are of an age group that would land him in jail if he did.

Speaking of jail bait, young David Archuleta is boring my ass more and more each week. He sings everything the same, and while his voice is great and powerful and he hits all the right notes, there’s more to being an entertainer than that. Nevertheless, his fan base is strong, albeit not yet hormonal. He’ll be in there at the end, as everybody has been predicting all along.

Dear Brookie was her usual weird self and she deserves to go, but as we noted last week, she has a large fan base of her own. She was a nanny, so it is natural for little rich kids to want to vote for her, as they would all like to have her instead of their own sadistic nannies.

Finally, David Cook, who is this Turkey’s favorite, might have a rough time of it because he appeals to an older crowd. That would be the 13-21 year-old group. However, we expect him to share the stage at the Kodak Theater on the final night this season.

To recap, popularity contests suck, and Syesha draws the short straw this week.

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Diamonds in the Rough

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

Five Idol-wannabes remain and they’ll be doing the songbook of Neil Diamond tonight. I don’t have anything extremely brilliant to say—American Idol does not lend itself to brilliance of any sort—so what I’ll do is pick songs for the contestants. Here we go.

David Archuleta: “September Morn” or “Until It’s Time for You to Go”

Jason Castro: “Song Sung Blue” or “Cracklin’ Rosie”

David Cook: “Brother Love’s Travelin’ Salvation Show” or “I Am…I Said”

Syesha Mercado: “Love on the Rocks” or “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers”

Brooke White: “Heartlight” or “Play Me”

I’ve increased my odds by waffling and choosing two per contestant. I ought to get one or two right that way.

I think they’ll save “Sweet Caroline” for the group number on Wednesday. “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” would be a good one for David Cook, but I don’t know if they’d use it because the Hollies recorded it first.

Tune in at 8:00 PM on Fox to see just how bad a song picker this Turkey really is!

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Wonders Never Cease

Monday, April 28th, 2008

Former Nittany Lion quarterback Anthony Morelli signed a free-agent contract with the Arizona Cardinals in the aftermath of the NFL Draft, in which he was not picked by any team.

A glance at this morning’s Arizona Republic fails to find a mention of this momentous signing, as if to wish it away.

Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt, a former Steelers offensive coordinator, has been recognized as an offensive genius. Perhaps he saw something in Morelli that the rest of us did not?

From Scout.com:

Former pro scout Tom Marino, who has 30 plus years in the league, is pretty high on Morelli as a project.

“He has all the tools you look for in a QB; an athletic body, very strong throwing arm and far better movement then I had expected, but is acutely under coached and unprepared for the job of being a professional QB.

Has a violent overhand delivery and when he’s on his game has as much ability as anyone in the draft. Can make all the throws; out, dig, fade and comeback. Going to have to start from square one with this player, but has a big upside. A 6th - 7th round steal.”

He is indeed a project, a reach, a zircon-in-the-rough. However, one meta-fact I can glean from Marino’s comments is that PSU has a reputation for “undercoaching” quarterbacks. The JoeJay approach is a quarterback spoiler. That’s for sure. Whether Morelli would have done better in another system, we’ll never know.

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