What Were They Thinking?
by The Nittany Turkey
The American Idol public has voted and…
Michael Johns is out.
There’s always a shocker at this stage of the competition. Michael was this year’s version. A solid singer with no glaring flaws or distracting tattoos, Johns just gets up there and sings with passion and style. He’s got a good voice. He’s good looking. His rendition of “Dream On” was adequate, in this writer’s opinion. So why is he gone?
…of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: “It might have been!”
Thank you, John Greenleaf Whittier.
Wait, that doesn’t rhyme unless you pronounce pen like peen and been like bean; or pen like pin and been like bin; or pen like pen and been like Ben. Hey, that’s my name! There are lots of possibilities. Some of us pronounce pen like pin and been like bean. Some of us pronounce pen like pin and been like Ben. Some of us pronounce pen like pen and been like bin. What is poetry, anyway? Haiku doesn’t rhyme. What the hell. Know what I’m sayin’. Sheeeiiiitttt! (That’s Ebonic for “Oh, darn!”)
Michael Johns gone
No stopping Mexican kid
Kristy Lee must stay.
I didn’t expect Johns to be in the final two, but in my thinking he was at least good enough for the final four, which I believe should have been David Archuleta, David Cook, and Carly Smithson, in addition to Johns.
However, who am I to make such a prediction when the American public votes the way they do? It is not up to me to set the standards. Each voter gets to vote his or her own mind, just as many times as their button-pushing fingers, their patience, and their persistence will allow.
So, one has to suspect that the demography of the voting population is substantially different from mine. They have to be a helluva lot younger, for one thing. Youth is a state of mind, you say, but try and keep up with current affairs in the music business! I find myself 5, 10, 15 years behind and the gap is widening. Perhaps the brain has a limited capacity for accommodating pop music as it ages or perhaps our clinging to our old favorites—damn old, at this point—limits the absorptive capacity for new additions. Or maybe a lot of what’s currently popular doesn’t suit us. Or maybe much of it is pure crap. We had pure crap back in my younger days, but none of it had to do with bitches, hoes, and cappin’ cops’ asses. (Remember “Surfer Bird” by the Trashmen? That was the 60s. How about the 50s? “Purple People Eater”? But I digress…)
We know one thing: David Archuleta is destined to prevail in this competition unless he fatally alienates his fan base, which is highly unlikely. It appears to this Turkey that David Cook and Carly Smithson with any hope of offering him a serious challenge, but I have to believe that those hopes are slim. However, anything can happen. I have proved regularly by my off-base predictions here that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I’m out of touch with the voters.
This week features Mariah Carey as “guest mentor.” In other words, she’s promoting her new album and her signature perfume. This is the blurb from the Idol web site:
After being a part of the highly successful Idol Gives Back show last week, international superstar Mariah Carey will be gracing the “Idol” stage once again this Wednesday (results night) to sing “Bye Bye,” the latest single from her new album, E=MC2.
So, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson will have good chances to show off their pipes this week. So will the backup singers. I think Brooke White can probably do well, too, if she picks the right Mariah song. So can David Archuleta. It remains to be seen whether Jason Castro and David Cook can adapt this kind of commercial crap to their style.
And Kristy Lee Cook—dear Kristy—what will you do for Daddy this week? Choose well, you long-legged, fresh-faced baby girl, and keep this old Turkey happy for yet another week!
Looking is all I can do about it at my age! (Right, Artificially Sweetened?)
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Tags: Mariah Carey, Michael Johns, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Television
April 15th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Turkey in da house.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Song too big for David.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I’m on board.
I take it little David went first? Sounds like he was a hit.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
From what I heard, the little guy did it with feeling.
Is this Mariah night?
April 15th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
This is indeed Mariah night.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Turkey, I enjoyed your poetic stream-of-consciousness flight.
By the way, remember “Superfly?” Great song, though.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Curtis Mayfield!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Curtis Mayfield, one of the great soul singers/musicians.
Mariah night is going to be pretty monotonous-note–Ah===oh–eeee–oooo.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Carly covered the damn tattoo so she looks prettier.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
This is actually a Harry Nilsson song.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Can’t liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive
April 15th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
This song reminds me of high school. It came out just after my boyfriend and I broke up. I was devastated.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
JESUS H. CHRIST …. hit the damn soft notes, already.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Reminds me of smoking pot with my brother in Phoenix.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
This isn’t making it. I don’t believe she “can’t live.” There’s a lack of emotion.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Yeah, she was not hitting the notes.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
The power points WERE the weak point, Randy!
Paula–get your words out, girl!
Simon is right, as usual.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
She’s in trouble this week. It sucked.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
She does seem more relaxed than she has.
Turkey, I’m just not a big Carly believer. She has underwhelmed me every week.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
The positive and encouraging words from Simon might save her…but thinking back on last week,
maybe not.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
You don’t have to convince me.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
If she can imitate Whitney, she can imitate Mariah.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
What do you think about Mariah’s pointing?
April 15th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Just SING the song. You don’t have to add all the trills and flourishes. That’s just showing off. This isn’t opera.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Jenny asks, “Do they really have to do the retching thing?”
April 15th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Mariah was pointing? I must not have been watching at that moment? Tell me about it.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Yeah, she did a good job of imitating Whitney/Mariah.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
What’s up with Paula sucking up to Mariah? Have you noticed that?
April 15th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Ha–”retching!” Good one.
I missed that. What point was Simon making?
April 15th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I think they have a lesbian relationship, of course.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
No–Whitney was the lesbian.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
He was saying that the song is obscure, which was a mistake on Syesha’s part. Other times he says the song is too well known. Simon is fucked up.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Simon is picky about song choice. Also, I think sometimes he feels he just need to make a criticism of some sort.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Is Jenny with you this evening?
April 15th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Why, yes. Yes she is.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Say hi to Patti, Jenny.
Hi, Patti
April 15th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Brooke. It’s time to kick her off. Her singing and whining are so lame.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
WHO DOES HER HAIR!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Hi, Jenny.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
It’s very 70s Stevie Nicks.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Well, she’s not terrible on this. She’s got the Alicia Keys thing going (am I the only one who thinks Alicia is WAY over-rated?).
Some bum notes but there’s a nice tone to her voice.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Her voice is very 2008 Brooke nothing.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
I bet Sheryl Crow is one of her heroines.
Sheryl Crow. Not one of mine.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
I’m just bored with it and Mariah did it much larger.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Paula didn’t like it.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
WHere’s the beef? asks Jenny.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Ha ha!
The relish was def. missing!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Definitely needed ketchup.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Here’s your fave, Turkey.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
SHE’S HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
April 15th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
She’s doing it with the country twang.
She’s really loosened up on this show. I don’t think she’s as bad as I once did.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Wow! This did not suck!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
People wrote her off too early.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Paula is OD’d on Xanax.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
I don’t really agree with Simon. True, it’s wasn’t great but it wasn’t “whiney” either.
No, we need to look to Brooke for that
April 15th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
How old is Paula? She looks pretty good, especially when you compare her to Madonna who is not aging well despite her three hour daily workouts. Someone needed to tell the former virgin that too much plastic surgery is not a good thing.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Yeah, Melanie Griffith, too.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Paula is 46.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Ditto on Melanie Griffith.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Right off the bat, this isn’t working for me. But this is not in any way his genre.
Man, this is really lame.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
The tempo of this is just terrible. Even his dramatics can’t save it from sounding lumbering.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
I does not really do much for me, but Jenny and I were having a discussion about Michelle Wong.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
You have got to be kidding me, Randy.
Did I miss something? I thought it sucked.
Simon even liked it.
Jeepers.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Who is Michelle Wong?
April 15th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
I agree that the kid takes things and does them a different way and that’s good, but this one didn’t thrill me too much.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Jenny’s high school nemesis.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
The subject arose when I made the observation, “What IS it about Chinks and violins????”
April 15th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Hear that retching sound? It’s not Syesha.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
I thought it was cellos.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Jason’s on last. Too bad for him.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Actually, I predict he may do something kind of cool.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
All right folks. Get out the bong. Jason in da house.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Jason is very coffee house. Richie Havens would probably dig him.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Man he’s being drowned out by the damn strings.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
I like this. It’s a heck of a lot better than all of the histrionics of the night.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Right on, bro.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
It was a-ight. Nothing more. Check it out baby.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Good one, Randy!
Ditto, Paula–you go, girl!
Simon said it!
April 15th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Tough shit. I agree with Randy.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Yes, the men are superior to the women in this competition, no question about it.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
And that’s a bit ironic this evening since it was Diva Mariah’s night.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
OK. We agree that Brooke has to go. Carly is next.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Brooke, Carly, Syesha. Pick any one of them and I’ll be happy.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Jason is a big fan of Seal.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Brooke and Carly–one of them will go this week.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I, on the other hand, am a big fan of Capybara.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Turkey, it was enjoyable as always.
Nice to meet you, Jenny!
April 15th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Well, then…that’s wrap. Byebye Brooke. Night-night Patti. Ben out!