Brooke Needs Shields
by The Nittany Turkey
She does. Brooke White needs all the armor she can get to cling to any hope of surviving this week on American Idol.
She and Carly both sucked on Tuesday night. Syesha was just OK. She didn’t thrill me very much. However, among the women, the biggest surprise was Kristy Lee Cook, who—no matter what Simon sez—nailed her song. (I’d like to nail her.)
Carly covered her tattoo, which was a good thing. At one point, the camera provided us with a shot of her husband, who looked either like he had been in a vehicle-pedestrian collision with a paint truck or took a wrong turn and rode his bike through a paint ball battlefield. So we had ample advertising for the family tattoo parlor. But the singing sucked the big one.
Among the guys, David Cook’s original arrangement was a standout, but David Archuleta delivered hands-down the best performance of the evening. This competition is his to lose, and it ain’t likely that he will.
I think Brooke should go, but my predictions have been way off this season. So, I’m going to say that Carly will be the one shedding the tears tonight. Tune in at 9ET/8CT and see for yourself!
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Tags: Brooke White, Carly Smithson, David Archuleta, Television
April 16th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Hey Turkey!
I’ll be a little late tonight but I will be here.
See you then,
The Redhead.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
OK…I’ll put a “late” mark in the attendance book for you.
It appears as if our local rag’s TV Guy watched a different show than we did last night. He seems to think that Brooke was the best of the female singers and Kristy was the worst. I don’t know what he was smoking while they were singing.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
OK. Who will be out. Play-by-play courtesy of the Turkey until you show up.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Season high—36 million votes. Mariah and Elliot Yamin will be with us tonight.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
The assembled contestants will sing One Sweet Day. Jason kicked it off—off key!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Kristy took over with a great top and renewed confidece. Her jeans and beaded belt are great, too!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Brooke is adding some syncopated crap that is too low for her.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Carly is dressed like a third grade teacher.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Altogether the number is not working for me. It sounds like cacophony in the ensemble parts and the solos bite the big one. The Ford commercial is quite welcome.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Now we’re reviewing last night.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Mariah says she wants them all to win.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Now, we get down to business. Which one is leaving us tonight?
April 16th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Jason. He sang, I Don’t Wanna Cry. America voted. Jason will start a group to Seacrest’s left.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Now we bring out David Cook. David sang Always Be My Baby. America voted. David will start a group to Seacrest’s right.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Now, Carly comes out in her teacher outfit showing her tatt. She says she really enjoyed herself last night but Simon’s been hard on her. Carly heads to the left to join Jason.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Kristy Lee in da house. Kristy sang Forever. Simon found it a bit whiney. Kristy said most of the time she agrees with him, but he “can be a butt at times.” She joins David Cook, to Seacrest’s right.
Now we take a break and we get to wonder what the hell the groups mean. We’ll wonder even longer because Elliot Yamin sings after the break.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Correction: I think Carly’s outfit is more like a waitress than a third-grade teacher.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
The Redhead has arrived.
I’ll read and catch up during this commercial break.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Welcome, Red!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Elliot has the distinction of being the ugliest guy to get to the final four on AI.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Nice guy, but a neanderthal.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Okay, I’ve caught up. I predict Kristy and David Cook are in the “safe” group.
I’ve never heard of this Elliot guy.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
His teeth were bad when he was competing. But I see he got a mouth makeover.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
He was on Idol a couple three years back.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
So, Elliot was on AI at one point. To me, it sounds like he was obviously voted off early in the game.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I think the same year as Carrie Underwood won.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
He made it pretty far.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Look at Paula, all dudetted up tonight!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Paula is almost inconsequential to me anymore.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Syesha’s gotta be safe. She was in her elephant.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Hmmmm…
April 16th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Where Brooke goes, the bottom three live.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Here we go–Syesha. Left or right?
Hmmm. What’s up with this?
Keep quiet, Brooke.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I think Seacrest will split the groups. He’s f—in with us.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Archuleta is safe. Nobody in their right mind, including him, thinks otherwise.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
No, I disagree. I think the bottom three will be Carly, Jason, and Syesha.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
By your theory, Brooke will be safe…yet again???!!!
That stinks.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Yeah. Maybe the voters saw it the same way Hal Boedecker did.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I don’t understand the way people are voting.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Hal’s been way off on a number of issues these days. I wonder what’s going on with him.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Of course, he had Jason third.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
This taking calls bit doesn’t work.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Maybe you can buy her a horse, Turkey.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
It’s a lame attempt to vary the format and get some more interest. Keep from going stale. Like the stuff Starbuck’s will do to screw up their stores.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
I’ll let her ride my horse.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
I don’t get it.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
I continue to defend Starbucks. They make a fine product.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Paula’s decollete is um…
April 16th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
They have the question flashed up on the board…that makes a lot of sense.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Mocking her is appropriate, Simon. Lame-ass question.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
They shouldn’t flash the question before the caller even asks it–attention starts to wander.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Those are nouns, not adjectives.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
They could take a few lessons from the old American Bandstand.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Apparently, that broad didn’t pay attention to all the biographical shit they do about each of these people if she had to ask whether David is single.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
I’ll give her a 97 for her chest and 85 for her legs.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
I wonder if Mariah is a nudist at home. She always wears as little as possible when she’s in public.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Jenny says she can listen to Mariah, but she needs a new gesture…she doesn’t like the “pointing.”
April 16th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
I bet she’s a major pain in the a–.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Is Jenny visiting again this evening?
April 16th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
No, that was her comment last night.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
I think her pointing thing makes it look like she’s trying to remember–or keep up with–the notes.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
How’d they find that cubic zirconia mike stand?
April 16th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
I think Mariah looks great though. Madonna could take a few lessons from her.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
And the matching mike.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Mariah just turned 40 recently, though. Madonna is older.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Here we go with the histrionics.
Sheesh.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
How about those 8″ heels?
April 16th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Yeah, but Madonna exercises and starves herself to the point where she looks stringy and ragged. Mariah looks healthy and sexy. I think Madonna’s lost her sex appeal.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
She still cruises down on the Lower East Side and picks up young Puerto Rican boys.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Plus Madonna has totally lost her sense of humor. Talk about taking oneself too seriously. She used to be fun–now she’s a major downer.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I thought that was how she kept herself young.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
She probably needs to start that cruisin’ routine again–but first she better drop that phony British accent or she’ll be crusin’ for a bruisin.’
April 16th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Worked for Sammy Davis for a while.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Maybe Nicole Kidman and Mel Gibson should drop the fake American accents. Hugh Laurie and Russell Crowe, too.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
M. may know how to keep her body young but she acts like an pretentious hag bag.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
She can buy herself all the Puerto Ricans she wants.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Hugh Laurie just does his fake accent for his show. When Nicole and Mel speak, I can still hear their accents. Plus they don’t sound like pompous jerks (well, except Mel but that’s another story).
April 16th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
He can’t think he’s going to the bottom three.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
April 16th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Duh.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Big surprise.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
TOLD YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Oh…you right!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
They’ve done this before. He’s playing it right.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Talk about putting him on the spot, Seacrest.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
I’m shocked that Carly is safe over Kristy.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
I thought Carly sucked badly enough to be in the bottom three.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Then it’s got to be Brooke who is packing her bags tonight.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
It has GOT to be Brooke.
But if it’s not, it’s probably Syesha.
But I think it’s Brooke.
I hope.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Next week will be Andrew Lloyd Webber week. So we’re in for some insipid, overplayed songs.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Can’t stand ALW crap.
Let’s get ready for:
Midnight….from Cats
I Don’t Know How to Love Him from JCSS
Don’t Cry for Me Argentina from Evita.
Ick.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Here we go–
Okay. Syesha is safe.
Good night Brooke.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
And…that one from Phantom of the Opera…Music of the Night.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Will Simon call it correctly?
No way–not Kristy.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Unbelievable.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit
April 16th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
And she won’t get her horse back.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
That is such b–t.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I will miss her.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Poor kid could use some grammar lessons.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I will, too. She was getting better and better. No surprises from here out now.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
She has been improving week to week and I think she did her best yet last night.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Dumb-ass voters. Keeping Brooke instead? What a joke.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Same voters who probably think Sheryl Crow is a quality performer.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
I’m bummed, but I’ll get over it. She’s going to sing directly to the “butt.”
April 16th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Lance Armstrong would agree with you.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
I’m beginning to think they choose the performer who sang the most fitting “farewell” song the previous night.
Now this does suck.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Well, Turkey–another week of tough show biz lessons.
See you same place next Tuesday!
April 16th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Now it does. But we’ll see some real FLUFF next week!
April 16th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
You got it! Goodnight, Red!