Archive for May 5th, 2008

Nut Case Alert!

Monday, May 5th, 2008

PETA has spoken. In the wake of the tragic Kentucky Derby place finish of the ill-fated filly Eight Belles, they have written a nastygram to the person in charge: Senator Hillary Clinton. Furthermore, just to make sure Hillary gets the message, they’re writing another nastygram to daughter Chelsea. PETA knows how to play dirty, too, thank you very much.

If you don’t know by this time, Eight Belles broke both front ankles as she charged down the stretch in a game effort to catch Big Brown, the big colt that won the race. While Big Brown was enjoying his moment of glory in the winner’s circle, Eight Belles was being euthanized on the track where she had broken down. She paid $10.60 and $6.40, posthumously.

I do not dispute the notion that the Kentucky Horse Racing Association should investigate the circumstances surrounding the filly’s tragic injury. Without being prompted to do so, the KHRA did, in fact, initiate such an investigation, which is routine anytime an animal dies on the track.

However, our nutball friends at PETA are taking this opportunity to make their silly-ass noises to expand their notariety, not only writing to Hillary and Chelsea, but also calling for the dismissal and banning of the jockey, who was out there trying to do his job. Their position is that the life of the horse is far more important than a man’s ability to earn a living and feed his family. In the meanwhile, they exploit this tragic incident to further their own questionable agenda.

PETA has had horse racing (the sport of kings) in its cross-hairs for a long time, claiming that it constitutes cruelty to their precious animals, which people “bet on just like a poker hand.” They equate it to dog fighting. If these yo-yos had their way, you wouldn’t even be able to kick your neighbor’s dog’s ass for taking a crap on your lawn.

Well, I don’t know about you, brother, but if I had had the choice, I sure as hell would have opted for a life consisting of two or three years of hard work followed by a career of chasing fillies and brood mares on some cushy stud farm. Just ask any stallion if he would have it any other way! If he could talk, he’d hoist his middle finger in PETA’s direction, and whinny out a great big belly laugh.

I know that only a small percentage of the overall racing population winds up enjoying those romantically bucolic rendezvoux, but what the hell. It would be worth the gamble. If I couldn’t compete I’d deserve to be horse meat on some foreigner’s plate or to spend my afterlife holding together the binding of a book.

Besides, now that the Swiss government has engaged a panel to report on man’s offenses against the dignity of plants and considers “beheading” wildflowers as cruelty to plants, one has to believe that the mere existence of horses constitutes cruelty to oats.

You can read the full text of the letter to Hillary in this Political Punch blog post from ABC News.

Does anyone out there—especially in the wonderful world of politics—have the balls to shut these wankers the hell up?

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Austin Scott a Brown; Morelli Meanders

Monday, May 5th, 2008

In a humongous sweep of draft leftovers, the NFL Cleveland Browns signed 23 free agents. Among them was ex-Nittany Lion tailback Austin Scott.

Unfortunately, Austin Scott will be better remembered around Penn State circles for his off-field exploits than for his accomplishments as a running back. However, he never lived up to the promise of his high school career.

Scott’s penchant for dancing around behind the line of scrimmage before moving forward was a great hindrance to his success in the faster moving college game, where opposing linebackers were in the backfield before Scott could get his ass in gear.

It is important to distinguish Scott’s actual performance from his potential, but that is all water under the bridge. He’s the Brownies’ problem now for a year, if he survives all the cruel cuts of the NFL pre-season.

Jamal Lewis is the Browns’ feature back. It is unclear how Scott will fit in to the Browns’ offensive scheme.

A Cleveland Plain-Dealer reader posted the following comment:

I’m excited about Austin Scott. This guy is amazing…if he can stay out of trouble. I never like taking questionable character guys..I leave that to the Bengals…but I’m glad the Browns are taking a flyer on him. Remember, Jam Lewis was in trouble and actually had his career derailed for a time by it…[even] serving time in prison Maybe Lewis can serve as a mentor to Scott. Go Browns!

Scott signed a one-year contract, but it is conditional on his making the team, which is to say that he must be on the final, 53-man roster.

“I’m going to turn it up another couple of notches,” Scott vowed. “I just want to get ready for the preseason minicamps and make an impression to make the final cut, to make it to the season, actually. I want to make sure that they understand they can use me and that I’m a good athlete to have on their team. I want them to know that I can help the Browns. I want to make an impression on special teams.”

Full story at theMorningCall.com.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, at Arizona Cardinal mini-camp, Anthony Morelli continues to struggle with apprehending the playbook, as he vies with Brian St. Pierre for the third-string job behind Matt Leinart and Kurt Warner. Par for the course, eh?

On the other hand, Dan Connor was impressive lining up at middle linebacker with the Carolina Panthers second and third teams. Having scant time to master a complex defensive playbook, Connor was still able to make some decent reads.

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