Syesha’s Departure a Slam-Dunk

by The Nittany Turkey on May 6, 2008

I’ve been wrong all season about who will stay and who will leave American Idol, so I’ll just climb out on a limb and flat out state that Syesha Mercado will get the axe this week.

I was thinking that I had gleaned the intentions of America’s voters last week. Syesha has been a weekly low vote getter and now she’s isolated in the final four, where there are three high vote getters. (Very scientifically precise terminology, I know.) She should have no problem being eliminated this week no matter how well she does on the stage.

This week is Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame week, which means the producers couldn’t find a “guest mentor” who was cheap enough or who wanted to promote a new album. So, there will be performances tomorrow night by a couple of fill-in acts: former Idol Bo Bice and Maroon 5. Otherwise, contestants will get to choose songs from the most overplayed famous songs in the history of rock ‘n’ roll.

The Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame is in Cleveland, which means that we’ll probably get to see some “scenery” from The Mistake by the Lake. Big whoop!

This should be David Cook‘s night, being the premier rocker in the bunch. Look for another weak performance by Jason Castro. Those have come to be the norm for college dorm sing-along boy. David Archuleta, who can do no wrong by the pre-nubiles, will sing a couple of songs that will sound like every other song he has sung, and he’ll forget to obey Lord Lloyd-Weber about keeping his eyes open, yet he’ll get the most votes. Bringing up the rear (and it’s a mighty fine one), Syesha will sing her guts out but to no avail—her fan contingent is just too small, the demographic being males over 25, of which I think I’m the only one left. Alas, she’s gone before the first note is sung.

Sadly, Jason, who should have been gone weeks ago, threatens to become the Sanjaya of this year’s competition, and we’ll have to put up with him for yet another week. Then it will be down to the final two, which I hope will be Archuleta and Cook. But stranger things have happened. The folks who gave you Taylor Hicks might conspire to put Jason in the final.

Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

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{ 137 comments… read them below or add one }

1 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:52 pm

Actually, the words are better enunciated—even the ones he forgot—than the way Bobby sang it.

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2 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:53 pm

Bye bye Jason. As Paula said, “it is what it is.”

So long!

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3 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:53 pm

I think it’s even money whether he or Syesha goes home—STILL!

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4 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:53 pm

I’m not risin’ to the Dylan bashing bait :)

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5 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:53 pm

Pre-teen girls are warming up their fingers.

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6 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:54 pm

I don’t need to bash Dylan. He never could sing; thus, he bashes himself.

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7 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:54 pm

Have you ever voted, Turkey?

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8 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:55 pm

But do you deny his songwriting gifts?

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9 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:55 pm

He’s like a poor man’s Willie Nelson.

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10 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:55 pm

Oh, I love some of his lines, like especially from The Times Are A-Changin.

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11 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:56 pm

And, of course, “the pump don’t work ’cause the vandal stole the handle.”

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12 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:56 pm

Yeah, b.s. you do.

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13 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:56 pm

Vandal TOOK the handle.

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14 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:57 pm

No, I actually do. “The loser now will be later to win…”

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15 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:57 pm

Dull David is back.

Uh-oh. The girls are going to be swooning.

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16 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:58 pm

This is actually a smart choice for him.

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17 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:58 pm

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Love Me Tender.

How the hell is he not going to evoke memories of Elvis and die in comparison? It’ll be like a poor Pat Boone version.

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18 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:58 pm

The retching is not needed in this song.

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19 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:58 pm

Yeah, that particular lyric is a favorite of mine, too. I think the took it from the bible.

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20 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Singing it like Whitney Houston, if you ask me!

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21 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:59 pm

The vandal took the handle in the bible?

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22 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Yeah, he’s not singing this with Presley’s tenderness or subtle passion.

Thumbs down.

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23 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Archuleta gets an IS rating for that, by the way.

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24 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 9:00 pm

Yeah, from the Sermon on the Mount.

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25 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 9:00 pm

Randy is looking for some junior ass.

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26 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 9:00 pm

David’s got these judges brainwashed.

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27 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 9:00 pm

That’s in “Y’all’s part of the bible.”

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28 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 9:00 pm

I liked Hungry like the Wolf. I guess I have no taste.

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29 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 9:01 pm

I thought Cook did the best.

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30 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 9:01 pm

Then Archuleta, then Syesha…..and Jason sucked far hind tit.

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31 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 9:01 pm

Yeah, but remember when he became “born again?” He pissed audiences off as he preached to them from the stage.

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32 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 9:02 pm

I shall be writing unkind words about Mr. Castro tonight.

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33 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Talk about “artifically sweetened!” That’s David A.

:)

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34 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Gotta love Syesha’s latest outfits.

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35 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 9:03 pm

He’s an artificial weenie.

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36 The Redhead May 6, 2008 at 9:03 pm

I’m hoping Jason gets the boot tomorrow…but I’m probably wrong based on what’s happened so far this season.

I’ll be here, Turkey!

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37 The Nittany Turkey May 6, 2008 at 9:04 pm

So, like tomorrow night…be here!

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