Syesha’s Departure a Slam-Dunk
by The Nittany Turkey
I’ve been wrong all season about who will stay and who will leave American Idol, so I’ll just climb out on a limb and flat out state that Syesha Mercado will get the axe this week.
I was thinking that I had gleaned the intentions of America’s voters last week. Syesha has been a weekly low vote getter and now she’s isolated in the final four, where there are three high vote getters. (Very scientifically precise terminology, I know.) She should have no problem being eliminated this week no matter how well she does on the stage.
This week is Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame week, which means the producers couldn’t find a “guest mentor” who was cheap enough or who wanted to promote a new album. So, there will be performances tomorrow night by a couple of fill-in acts: former Idol Bo Bice and Maroon 5. Otherwise, contestants will get to choose songs from the most overplayed famous songs in the history of rock ‘n’ roll.
The Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame is in Cleveland, which means that we’ll probably get to see some “scenery” from The Mistake by the Lake. Big whoop!
This should be David Cook’s night, being the premier rocker in the bunch. Look for another weak performance by Jason Castro. Those have come to be the norm for college dorm sing-along boy. David Archuleta, who can do no wrong by the pre-nubiles, will sing a couple of songs that will sound like every other song he has sung, and he’ll forget to obey Lord Lloyd-Weber about keeping his eyes open, yet he’ll get the most votes. Bringing up the rear (and it’s a mighty fine one), Syesha will sing her guts out but to no avail—her fan contingent is just too small, the demographic being males over 25, of which I think I’m the only one left. Alas, she’s gone before the first note is sung.
Sadly, Jason, who should have been gone weeks ago, threatens to become the Sanjaya of this year’s competition, and we’ll have to put up with him for yet another week. Then it will be down to the final two, which I hope will be Archuleta and Cook. But stranger things have happened. The folks who gave you Taylor Hicks might conspire to put Jason in the final.
Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.
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Tags: entertainment, Television, TV shows
May 6th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Oh, yeah. Syesha is great in the platinum dress.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Randy’s shirt sucks.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Now we get to go to the Nation’s Armpit.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
The Rockin’ Redhead has arrived!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
David was born after Kurt Cobain died.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
I think Duran Duran is a bit subdued for young David.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Hiya hotstuff!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Turkey, I don’t know about you, but if there’s one band of the 80s that I hate, it’s Duran Duran. I liked one song of theirs–Girls on Film–after that, it all sounded depressing and virually atonal.
David Cook is doing a good job with this, after all, he’s in his rock and roll element.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Yeah, he speeded it up and rocked it–better than the original!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
But Roberto Duran was OK, except when he fought Sugar Ray Leonard.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Paula is putting the moves on David.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
I disagree with Randy. I liked it a lot.
Yeah, Simon says!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I think we all agree. It was a-ight.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
So what did you think, Turkey?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
For Randy, “just OK” means that it was sung by someone other than Archuleta, for whom I think Randy has some secret desires.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Rock ‘n’ roll musical cell phone commercial was fine.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I like Cook, so I’m biased, but yes, I liked the song, and no, it was not his greatest performance.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Okay, I see that we all pretty much agree. That guitarist was rockin’ though.
I hesitate to predict who will go home tonight. I read your blog but I’m not so sure…I’ve been wrong on every show this season.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Well, so have I, but that doesn’t prevent me from having yet another bogus opinion.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Syesha gets hotter every week.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
She doesn’t look as good in her Rosie Perez outfit.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
But I love the Tina Turner outfit.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
And just like Tina, she’s gonna start out slow and then “get rough.”
May 6th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
That was the wrong time to bring in the audience….she needs to build it up…like now.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Nice dance moves! She doesn’t have Turner’s energy but she’s doing a good job!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Unlike Tina, she is a soprano, not a barritone!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
It was Tina’s arrangement, only an octave higher.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
She’s also a cutie. She should have shortened the dress though.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
How long can Simon maintain his patience with Paula tonight?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Just like last time, Simon’s putting the hocus pocus on Syesha.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Simon is a big poopoo.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
He’s a flyzyzyzyzyzyzyzy.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Jason sucks.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Speaking of Paula, I’m pasting a portion of of this piece with “Nashville Star’ judge John Rich. He was pissed at Abdul, pissed at the whole show. This is a hilarious quote from him:
“’American Idol’ infuriates me as an artist,†Rich, of the multiplatinum country duo Big & Rich, said at an NBC press event in Pasadena, California. “They’re being fake about it. When you can’t make a cognizant comment about someone’s performance and you’re commenting on something that happened the day before, why don’t you just walk up onstage and slap them right across the face while you’re at it? As an artist, I would just flip them the bird and walk off the stage. … She wasn’t even paying attention to what was going on.â€
HAHA!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Flip em’ the bird, Sysesha!!!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
News Update:
Obama takes N.C.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
News Update:
Big Whoop
May 6th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
He’s gonna do the Bob Marley version. Fits the dreads. But I’m not diggin’ this.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
I’m going to characterize this as another dorm amateur night performance.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Did you read the quote I pasted, Turkey?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
This is pretty lame.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Boy, did that suck!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Now a glowing comment by Paula, as expected.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Kiss mah ass, Paula!!!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Atrocious is a good word for it.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Randy didn’t dig it. Wow, I’ve never heard Randy be this negative!
And Paula? She didn’t really dig it either.
I don’t like that song either. Hated the Clapton version.
Simon lays it down.
Jason, dude, go have some ganja.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Totally amateurish.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Did you read that country dude’s quote?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Jason really needs to get voted off this week, but will he?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
He was nowhere fucking close to the other two. And yes, I read it. Very funny.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
This is a safe choice for Boring David. I wish he’d take a chance and rock.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
This is thrilling the little girls.
And I predict the judges will dig it.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Stand By Me sounds like everything else he sings. And his eyes are closed.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I predict Simon will not be as high on it as the other judges though.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
He belongs in Junior Mariachi Marching Band.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
YOU PREDICT….HAHHAHHAHA
May 6th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Oooh, he sang it to all the “beautiful girls.”
May 6th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
I’m telling you—Randy has a thing for Archuleta. I think he wants to do the pederasty number on him.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Paula is irrelevant.
:P 
May 6th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
And how did you really feel Randy?
WAS he communicating with his eyes? I thought they were closed.
Simon speaks the truth.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Randy wore his orange guitar shirt tonight just to get David.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Is Randy gay?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I think Seacrest wants some Archuleta poontang, too, from the looks of it.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I notice that the judges don’t have to hold their comments until after the performers have sung twice tonight. Too much confusion for dear Paula!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I don’t know anything about Randy’s sexual preference. I only know that he digs Archuleta.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
So there’ll be a double-date after the show. Randy and Archuleta; Paula and David Cook.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I want David Cook to sing a hardass rock number next.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I wanna hear some rock and roll! I’m tired of this slow songs.
And I just have to say again, Clapton’s version of I Shot the Sheriff is one of the lamest “rock” tunes ever recorded. Clapton slept his way through it. He was great with Cream but ever since, the most overrated guitarist EVER. What a snoozefest. Technically there but no passion. I don’t get why so many think he’s God.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Why–
Artificially Sweetened?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Wow–Cook is taking a chance! This I gotta see.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
I think I must have tuned into CSI:New York.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Okay, kick it out soon!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Why the hell is the audience clapping during the slow, tacit part?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
This sucks. The tempo is way too slow.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
He didn’t have enough time to make the most of that Who number.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
I don’t get Artificially Sweetened, Turkey. Could you enlighten me?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
He did fine with that one.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
I did not like his version and disagree with everybody here.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
My girlfriend’s blog responding pseudonym is Artificially Sweetened, inasmuch as she was a chemist with Nutrasweet.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
That is what I like about you: you’re so disagreeable.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
LOOK!!!! It’s Ashton Kutcher!!!!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
I’m gay! I’m gay!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Can’t wait for Fox News at 10 to see the teen roller skating war!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
I know they play Beethoven’s 9th at my Lowe’s, too.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
I thought he Ashton dug Demi.
I think your girlfriend is authentically sweet!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Get Jason’s Marley number from iTunes!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Cool tune. She may do a good job with this.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Are we going to get the Whitney/Tina version of Sam Cooke?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
I like the dress, but there’s no replacement for Sam Cooke.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
If she is voted off and Jason stays, there is no justice.
Her version is not doing much for me though. She’s holding some of those notes too long and it’s not necessary.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Thumbs down.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Sam died in 1964, long before the birth of Syesha. But she did a job on this one…trying to save her ass another week. I hope she did!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Yeah…what Randy said.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Bring us back to earth, Simon.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Right on, Randy! We are on the same page.
Come on, Paula. Breathe in some reality. Pul-leeze.
Simon says but I don’t think so.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
May 6th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Well, she turned a great song into an opportunity to show off her acrobatic abilities vocally. I don’t doubt that she’s genuine in her emotion but she doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get that the drama is in the lyics and heartfelt emotion, not in vocally showing off what you can do.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
It was better than what Randy said, but I can’t hear anybody but Sam Cooke doing it.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Now, we’re going to do Mr. Tambourine Man. He’s going to do it through the nose like Bobby Zimmerman, and forget the words, too.
GOODBYE JASON!!!!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
He sounds like Arlo Guthrie doing Dylan. He just forgot the lyrics! Uh-oh.
If he can’t remember “jingle jangle morning” he’s in trouble.
Turkey, Jason is going home tomorrow!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Actually, the words are better enunciated—even the ones he forgot—than the way Bobby sang it.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Bye bye Jason. As Paula said, “it is what it is.”
So long!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
I think it’s even money whether he or Syesha goes home—STILL!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
I’m not risin’ to the Dylan bashing bait
May 6th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Pre-teen girls are warming up their fingers.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I don’t need to bash Dylan. He never could sing; thus, he bashes himself.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Have you ever voted, Turkey?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
But do you deny his songwriting gifts?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
He’s like a poor man’s Willie Nelson.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Oh, I love some of his lines, like especially from The Times Are A-Changin.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
And, of course, “the pump don’t work ’cause the vandal stole the handle.”
May 6th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Yeah, b.s. you do.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Vandal TOOK the handle.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
No, I actually do. “The loser now will be later to win…”
May 6th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Dull David is back.
Uh-oh. The girls are going to be swooning.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
This is actually a smart choice for him.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Love Me Tender.
How the hell is he not going to evoke memories of Elvis and die in comparison? It’ll be like a poor Pat Boone version.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
The retching is not needed in this song.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Yeah, that particular lyric is a favorite of mine, too. I think the took it from the bible.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Singing it like Whitney Houston, if you ask me!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
The vandal took the handle in the bible?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Yeah, he’s not singing this with Presley’s tenderness or subtle passion.
Thumbs down.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Archuleta gets an IS rating for that, by the way.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Yeah, from the Sermon on the Mount.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Randy is looking for some junior ass.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
David’s got these judges brainwashed.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
That’s in “Y’all’s part of the bible.”
May 6th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I liked Hungry like the Wolf. I guess I have no taste.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I thought Cook did the best.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Then Archuleta, then Syesha…..and Jason sucked far hind tit.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Yeah, but remember when he became “born again?” He pissed audiences off as he preached to them from the stage.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I shall be writing unkind words about Mr. Castro tonight.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Talk about “artifically sweetened!” That’s David A.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Gotta love Syesha’s latest outfits.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
He’s an artificial weenie.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
I’m hoping Jason gets the boot tomorrow…but I’m probably wrong based on what’s happened so far this season.
I’ll be here, Turkey!
May 6th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
So, like tomorrow night…be here!