Correction: JaSoN is GoNe!!
After watching tonight’s Idol, I have to revise my prediction. If Jason stays around past tomorrow night, I won’t be able to watch this shit sober anymore!
This clown put on such an amateurish act that he stunk up the place—twice! His first number, “I Shot the Sheriff,” was a tribute to his all-time hero, Bob Marley. If that song sucked, Castro’s second song, “Mr. Tambourine Man,” was even worse. He couldn’t even remember the words, humming where “jingle-jangle morning” was supposed to be.
Now, I must characterize his act as WORSE than a college dorm sing-along for losers who can’t get laid on a Friday night. It’s becoming like a college dorm sing-along for losers who can’t get laid on a Friday night so they get shitfaced drunk first and then try to sing.
Given that Jason’s ass has been carried for the past few weeks by the sub-teens who approach this like a middle school popularity contest, I cannot predict his demise with great conviction. However, if he doesn’t go, it will be a travesty beyond proportion—one that will surely rival Taylor Hicks becoming the American Idol a couple of years ago.
I don’t know what Archuleta is doing for the judges under their table, but whatever the hell it is, they can kiss my ass. He’s not that great. I couldn’t even listen to his rendition of “Love Me Tender.” He sang it with the same damn voice he sings everything else and added non-Elvisesque bombast, which would have led me to compare him to Whitney Houston if he was a broad. However, he’s a little kid, and his voting public is composed of little kids who never heard Elvis’ version of the song and don’t know how badly Archuleta destroyed it. It wouldn’t matter if they did. they’ll vote for him blindly in any case. What remains a mystery to me is why the judges are so taken with this little schmuck. He bores my ass.
Syesha was good. I thought she was a bit shrieky in her first number, “Proud Mary,” in which she used the Tina Turner arrangement and accordingly, evoked comparisons with Tina. However, her highly emotional Sam Cooke finale was heartfelt and well done. Unfortunately for Syesha, I’m from Sam Cooke’s era, so remembering how it sounded when Sam did it—it was released right after he died—caused me to feel that Syesha fell a bit short. Randy Jackson agreed with me, but Paula (of course) and Simon felt that she did exceptionally well. Well enough to save her ass this week? We’ll see.
I continue to like David Cook who had the potential benefit of being able to choose two rock songs this week. Alas, he squandered his first choice on Duran Duran. The second, a Who song, was more like it for Cook. If he had indeed picked two appropriate songs, he would have had the best night of all of them. However, I reluctantly have to rank him tied for second tonight.
Here’s how I see it:
1. David Archuleta (two solid numbers, but sung with his usual voice)
2. David Cook and Syesha Mercado (I believe they both did one song well and the other one acceptably)
7. Jason Castro (he gets a big IT SUCKS (IS) rating for screwing up two whole songs tonight!)
Seventh in a field of four? Yeah, it was that bad. Will justice prevail or will the junior high voters play their trump card? I can feel those tiny fingers texting “VOTE” right now. Syesha must stay; Jason must go—THIS WEEK!!!
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If you like this then please subscribe to the Tags: entertainment, Television, TV, TV shows
May 6th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
If we’re lucky, Jason will be jingle-jangling his way home tomorrow night!
May 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Did the Washington Post babe have anything to say about Jason this week? How about Baby Elmo?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Eesha look good…
May 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Our highest voting total: nearly 51 million votes. Top three were within one million votes of each other.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Hey Turkey! I haven’t yet read the Post but will foward it when I do.
I read your comment on Boedeker’s blog. I agree.
Jason should be gone tonight.
Gone, baby, gone.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
WHAT THE HELL is Paula wearing?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
It looks like a beret sewn onto a cocktail dress. Hiya, Red!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Another group fluff number.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Why are they singing this song?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Because they’re not singing “Build Me Up, Buttercup”
May 7th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Remember The King Family? This group number is like that old show!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
It’s a space filler.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Man, Steely Dan sure reminds me of high school and those stoner daze!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Why do you build me up,
Buttercup baby, then you let me down…
May 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Babylon Sisters
Shake it!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Lesley Gore reminds ME of high school. LOLLOLOLOL
May 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Tonight, we get Bo Bice, who lost to Carrie Underwood in the final a few years ago.
Also, Maroon 5, who put me to sleep.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
I dug that tune, Build Me Up Buttercup!
Reminds me of 6th grade
May 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
I predict that Seacrest will pronounce Archuleta safe right off the bat. Duh!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Either him or Cook.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Seriously, Duran Duran can’t be in the hall of fame!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Ben E. King can.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
The more I listen to that song by Syesha, the more I think she nailed it!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Man, I cannot stand this David A. kid.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Baby Elmo is such a crashing bore. I think both Randy and Simon must be queer for him.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
No, I don’t agree with you about Syesha, Turkey. She screwed up the phrasing.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Yeah, like big surprise that he’s going to be pronounced safe.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
David’s feeling “nervous.”
Doofus.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
That’s fine. We rarely agree about anything, which is good. It makes me feel more right.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
He connects with 10 year-olds.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
And makes me feel you are more wrong
May 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Ya know, Turkey, it’s just a hunch but I think David Cook will be in the bottom two tonight. Just for the drama!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
We’re next going to find out that David Cook is safe, leaving us to wonder about Syesha and Jason.
BUTTTTTT….this is a dangerous week. I’ve watched this thing for six or seven years and note that frequently there is a surprise right at this point, when someone you least expect to go home gets eliminated.
I don’t think any of the remaining three are safe.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
If the conspiracy theory is valid and “they” want Archuleta to win this thing, they need to boot David Cook at this point.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
But I jest.
If Cook gets eliminated, it’s because the voters are clueless, not because of the black helicopters.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Well, good. Cook is safe.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Okay, does David Cook stay or go???
Should I stay or should I go now…..
Stay!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
So, let us examine this scenario: Jason leaves. Does he reprise “Mr. Tambourine Man” and forget the words once again?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
He shot the sheriff but he couldn’t shoot the deputy!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
If he was Marley, he smoked the sheriff.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
The biggest challenge….
holding back when Jason gets a pass every week!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
This “call in” business is a bunch of c–p.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
YOU MEAN SYESHA HASN’T HEARD FROM WHITNEY??????
May 7th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Wake me up when Maroon 5 is over.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I don’t like this a whole lot. That guy is singing way too high.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Very annoying.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
LOL … there’s a technical term for what he’s doing. It is called: crapsinging.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
It’s like that band, Fine Young Cannibals. Totally forgetable.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Plus he looks like Kramer.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
The girls are screaming over this?
Ick.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
I dug The Kramer.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
They’re being paid to scream. With free Cokes.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Isn’t San Antonio in Europe?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Now we get to hear Bo, who I can still listen to, if he hasn’t gone too country. He was a good rocker with an edge when he was on Idol three years ago, but much has happened since.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
I’ve heard of Bo but never heard him sing.
Dig?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Dig THIS!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Did you get the WESH story about Artificially Sweetened’s kid getting bitten by a shark today?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Wow—this is cool! Very 60s. I’m diggin’ it.
Pass me the doobie, brother.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Paula is in the groove.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
I was very surprised when Carrie Underwood beat him in the final. But voters—you know.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Hey! I saw that story on the Sentinel’s website! I wondered if it was A.S.’s kid but thought she was going to a different beach. Wow!!! What happened?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
As you might predict, Lynard Skynard is who he idolized growing up.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Was it HER child? Really?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Kid was wading in a about 18″ of water. I think it was probably a baby bull shark. Read the WESH story and see the video. It’s on my Facebook profile page, too.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Nah, he is much cooler than Lynard Skynard.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Yeah, you’ll see her interview in the video.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Glad you like him.
PLAY FREE BIRD, MAN!!!!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Magic are letting the Pistons come back.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
If they go down 0-3, they ain’t coming back.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Whoa! Did you read it on the news first or did A. Sweetened tell you?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
She called me from the ER.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Is the kid okay?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
It was around 11:30 or so.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Kid is fine, but the lidocaine is wearing off and he’s hurting a bit. He’ll be fine. Did you see the interview? He wasn’t freaked at all.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
HERE WE GO!!!!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Many stitches?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
I have close up pictures of the kid’s wounds, if you want to see the gory details.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
I will def. check out the interview.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Eight stitches.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Bye bye, Jason.
Jingle Jangle on, dude.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Jason was stoned out of his mind last night…AND TONIGHT!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Or maybe “a change is gonna come” and Syesha is going home??
May 7th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
She is so pretty…
May 7th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Justice, dude, justice.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
There is justice.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I can watch it sober next week.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Hey, Mr. Tamborine Man, sing a song for Jason…
May 7th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Will we have to listen to another song by him?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Break out the Zig Zags, Jason’s on his way home to celebrate!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Which one will he do?
May 7th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Ugh…here’s that awful song again.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
He really *IS* stoned!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Roll em’, toke em’ and smoke em’, my friend!
May 7th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Well, Turkey, it’s the top three next week! Two more weeks of this season’s AI!
May 7th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I mo watch 35 news to see if the Irish babe with the expressive face cover’s AS’s kid’s story.
May 7th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Yeah…I like our guy’s chances!
May 7th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Until next week,
I remain,
The Nittany Turkey
May 7th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Looks like the Magic are coming back at the Pistons.
May 7th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I’m heading out to check on A. Sweetened’s shark bitten son! Hope he will be okay!
See you soon!
May 7th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
He’ll be fine and he’s expected to go to school tomorrow.
May 7th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Seeya!