Chisley Gets Life
Saturday, September 29th, 2007See full story in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
Posts Tagged ‘Current Events’
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I didn’t need the money, ’cause I deal dope.
Friday, September 28th, 2007The headline above constitutes part of former Nittany Lion LaVon Chisley’s legal defense—namely, that he couldn’t have killed PSU senior Langston Carraway during the commission of an armed robbery because he made between $400 and $1,000 per week selling marijuana. Chisley is currently standing trial in Centre County Court for Carraway’s 2006 murder.
This is a sad case. I’ve commented on it before and it saddens me each time I revisit the issue. Here’s a guy who had a helluva lot going for him and he blew it. Not only did he get his ass kicked off the team, but also instead of learning his lesson he let his life spiral inexorably downward and out of control.
I guess that since it was a matter of public record that Chisley ran afoul of the law in Anne Arundel County Maryland, where he was locked up on drug charges, his defense attorney thought that record would be of use in proving Chisley innocent of murder.
He also skillfully presented the highly effective and erudite Roger Rabbit alibi and said he didn’t know how his DNA got inside a glove left outside Carraway’s apartment that also bore Carraway’s blood. If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit. No Johnny Cochran here to save yo’ ass, LaVon.
LaVon, man, you’re in deep shit.
Read the full CDT reportage. More also at Uwire.
Domino’s Oreo Dessert Pizza — An Al Qaeda Plot?
Sunday, September 16th, 2007
Who the hell dreamed up this latest food travesty? Osama bin Laden? I just saw the associated Domino’s commercial for the first time during an NFL game and I’m suitably disgusted. At first, I thought it was a damn spoof or something.
The damn thing looks like a small pizza with Oreo cookies crumbled on top and drizzled with an ominous looking, Elmer’s Glue-like white fluid. (I’m praying that this is confectioner’s sugar and water instead of what it looks like.) It is supposedly delivered warm.
From an August 29 Domino’s press release:
"We are thrilled to partner with a great brand like OREO-one that our customers loved as kids and still love today," said Ken Calwell, chief marketing officer, Domino's Pizza. "This is a great opportunity to combine the power of Domino's Pizza and one of America's favorite cookies to deliver a unique, fun and delicious new dessert for our customers!"
The commercial is just plain disgusting. After eating this garbage, a guy and a kid, presumably a father and son, get chocolate crumbs and shit on their faces in the shape of a pencil-line mustache (the kid) and a Van Dyke beard (the guy). The kid laments that he cannot achieve the fullness of the adult’s crap-beard. The shit-faced father offers words of encouragement, intimating that someday the kid will be able to get food all over his fucking face, just like Dad. So now, to add insult to injury, this commercial encourages slob-ass, piggish table manners while pushing its insidious poison at us.
Is it any wonder we’re turning into a nation of fat fucks if people actually order crap like this? Who the hell could stomach it, anyway? Kids, I imagine. We sure as hell are not training them well. Parents, do not—I repeat—do not accede to your kids’ wishes when they tell you they want this abomination. It is no doubt an Al Qaeda plot to render our population fat, sodden, and defenseless.
Is Paris Burning?
Saturday, May 5th, 2007
America’s darling, young heiress Paris Hilton, was sentenced to 45 days behind bars today. No, she was not convicted of producing a dull and boring porn film. Those charges are still pending. Our favorite 26 year-old party girl drove on a license previously suspended during a DUI episode. So now, she’ll be leading “The Simple Life”—literally—for a month and a half.
Paris showed up 10 minutes late for her trial. Great start! Go ahead and piss off the judge so you can be sure of getting the most stringent sentence possible. She will not be allowed to buy her way into the country club prison of her choice and she will not be accorded any vehicles for reducing the time served. She has the right to appeal. She’ll probably do that, further wasting the public funds.
Boy, did this idiot ever get what she deserved!