Posts tagged as:

entertainment

David Cook…by a Knockout!

May 21, 2008

The American public voted. For a change, they seemed to THINK before they did, unexpectedly crowning David Cook as the newest American Idol. The little pipsqueak, David Archuleta, seemed befuddled and crushed, as just about all the pundits, including this Turkey, had predicted a pipsqueak victory.

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Idol’s Last Stand

May 21, 2008

Tonight, they have to get it all in, squeezing the last dollar out of each of their sponsors while somehow making us think we’re being entertained by two hours of commercials punctuated by the occasional live performance and finally, an announcement of the winning wannabe at 10:02 (just to piss off the DVR folks). Then, mercifully, we’ll be done until January 2009.

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It Ain’t Over ’til It’s Over

May 20, 2008

Despite the optimistic headline, which I purloined from Yogi Berra, David Cook better be hoping that a veritable shitload of 9-13 year-old voters suddenly develop osteoarthritis of the dialing fingers. Otherwise, he’ll be subjected to yet another of my purloined vapid aphorisms: If you ain’t first, you’re last. (Attribution to Ricky Bobby for that one.)

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The Voice vs. The Edge

May 20, 2008

American Idol has boiled down to leave two men standing, and one stretches the masculinity point, as he has not yet started to shave. It will be pop versus rock, “The Voice” versus “The Edge,” David Archuleta versus David Cook. Chief Justice Simon Cowell predicts that the final competition this week will be “a humdinger.”

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