Posts Tagged ‘Kristy Lee Cook’

Music of the Night

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

Tuesday night, that is. American Idol night.

Let us take a break from Nittany Lion incarcerations, injuries, and insipidness over the Paterno situation; a break from the politics of Pennsylvania and the nation; a break from all else that is pressing on our cerebral cortices; and let’s get down to what is truly important: American Idol!

OK, I’m over the top there. But I just got done paying some bills and I’ve got heartburn.

With the painful elimination of lovely Kristy Lee Cook last week, this Turkey lost his favored eye candy. Not that she was going to get much farther—no way in hell would she have—but she was still nice to look at and each week of watching her was like a dividend. For her swan song, she splayed herself out on the judges’ desk and sang to Simon, torch song style. It was perhaps her best performance of the whole competition. Too bad it had to be her last.

I’ll get over it.

Tonight is Andrew Lloyd Webber night. Accordingly, we’ll be hearing some old, overplayed, obnoxious Broadway music. The Rt. Hon. Lord Lloyd-Webber, Baron of Sydmonton, has dominated musical theater for much of the 1980s and 1990s. We’ll get songs from Cats, Jesus Christ, Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Evita, and Phantom of the Opera.

The only thing I can think of that might redeem the evening will be seeing how David Cook manages to pull something out of this collection of smarmy show music and do a rock rendition. Everyone else will probably do a straight take on the material.

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Kristy Raises Flag, Saves Butt…

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

…and a delectable butt it is! Kristy Lee Cook, the American Idol wannabe who I’ve been giving the boot for the past three weeks saved her ass with a decent performance of Lee Greenwood’s Proud to Be an American. So, her tall blondness is safe for yet another week. But who goes?

It won’t be Michael Johns, the Australian Atlantan, who pulls out Queen when he needs to save his own ass, and he did, and he did.

It sure as hell won’t be David Cook, whose unique performance of Billie Jean left no one wanting to hear that freak who made a hit out of its original version 2o-some years ago and it left the judges cooing and raving about Cook’s genius.

It definitely won’t be David Archuleta—just because he has 100% of the 9-17 year-old demographic sewn up and he can sometimes sing, too.

It probably won’t be Brooke White, who did Every Breath You Take and sounded pretty good.

I don’t think it should be Chikezie just because Randy thinks he did an 80s soul song in an 80s manner. His voice is a wonderful and powerful instrument. He sang an old song with feeling.

Not Syesha Mercado, either. She of the pretty smile delivered a serviceable Whitney-style performance of If I Were Your Woman. I don’t like listening to all the Whitney Houston clones out there, but the performance will save her for another week.

Dum-de-dum-dum. Here’s your Bottom Three:

Would Carly Smithson please step down on stage. Carly, you sang Total Eclipse of the Heart. Judges thought it was the wrong song for you and it missed the mark. This Turkey thinks that it is hard to shake the mental image of Bonnie Tyler’s original performance while watching Carly do her sort of workmanlike rendition. She’s a legend in her own mind, but she’s…moving on to the next round. You are safe, Carly.

Ramiele Malubay, little girl with big voice, you sang Alone. You were the lead-off hitter and you weren’t feeling well. The judges thought you sucked. The Turkey thinks you should move on to next week with that powerful voice of yours.

Jason Castro, you sang Fragile. Judges thought it was dull. This Turkey thinks that you are a nice kid, but you are too shy and lacking in personality to be a star. Furthermore, it was a fragile performance of Fragile. Jason, it’s the end of the road for you, guy, but you’ll be joining us for our Idol Tour.

America has voted and… (find out tonight).

Leo Durocher said it, Jason: Nice guys finish last. On this particular occasion, we’ll probably be saying goodbye to this nice guy. You’re a good kid and we’ll miss your weird hairdo, but you’re outta here!

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