Yes, this will be yet another post about driving. Overpopulation coupled with poor funding of highway infrastructure has led to some pretty annoying situations out there on the road. I’m here to talk about five of them.
What I’m not here to talk about are obvious offenses such as drunk driving, failure to wear a seat belt, yakking or texting while driving, following too closely, driving too slowly, speeding, or deeming the turn signals present on every car sold in the past 75 years a worthless option. These infractions are obvious, they’re dangerous or at best, they’re obnoxious, and they annoy everybody. Well, almost everybody. There are obviously those who are completely oblivious behind the wheel and who have no clue whatsoever as to what is going on around them.
I’ll be talking about five specific driving techniques or maneuvers that bother me. Hey, alright, I’m a self-righteous hypocrite behind the wheel. No doubt I’ll piss off a plethora of pious perusers of this post by positing that a preponderance of drivers are, like me, self-righteous hypocrites. So, be offended. We’re all in the same boat out there. I’m certain that I do my share of dumb things that annoy other drivers, but in my mind, my driving is perfect. The late comedian George Carlin captured the essence of such hypocrisy in this line from his stand-up routine on driving: “How come anyone who wants to go faster than you and passes you is a maniac, while someone in front of you going too slow to suit you is an asshole?” That line has stuck with me, because it pretty much has always been how I view those frequently encountered situations on the road. My choice of labels for the culprits is exactly the same as Carlin’s: maniacs and assholes.
But I digress. Being a curmudgeon, I want to share with you the top five annoying acts of driving stupidity that particularly jerk my chain. I’m addressing this to you, people who offend me, so take heed! You know who you are. [Read more…]