So much for “turning the corner.”
Penn State is now 3-5, 0-5 in the Big Ten, and playing out the string under Terry Smith. Our heroes looked like they didn’t want to be there in Columbus. A couple of them came to play; the rest mentally stayed home. This is a team that is showing all possible signs of having mentally lain themselves to rest.
Thursday night in Columbus merely confirmed the obituary.
Ohio State Domination
The Schmuckeyes, led by Julian Sayin—a competent but hardly legendary OSU quarterback—carved up Penn State’s secondary like a practice squad: 20-of-23 for 316 yards and four touchdowns.
That’s 87 percent completions. Against this pass defense, Villanova would do at least 75. Just Sayin’.
And once the Buckeyes got bored throwing, they ran at will, piling up 164 yards on the ground. In the fourth quarter they didn’t even bother pretending it was a contest; they just lined up and ground clock while Penn State’s defenders looked around for someone else to make a tackle. None appeared.
The stat line tells you everything you need to know about the “attack” from the supposedly elite front seven:
Zero sacks.
Not one.
The only Lion defender who looked alive was Amari Campbell, who logged eight tackles (five solo) and at least seemed embarrassed.
Offensively (highly), the offensive brain trust produced a “plan” that could fit on a cocktail napkin:
Hand the ball to Kaytron Allen 21 times and pray.
He ran hard—he always does—but when your offensive creativity ends at the line of scrimmage and you have an offensive line that makes up for not run blocking by not pass protecting, you’re not out-scheming anyone. The passing game was little more than freshman Ethan Grunkemeyer trying to survive behind an offensive line that quit (if they ever had an inkling about playing). He was sacked four times by the swarming Schmuckeyes. (That has a certain ring to it, eh?)
What Remains (and why bother?)
- Nov 8 – Indiana (Home): a sure loss. The Hoosiers are #2 in the nation and playing like it; Penn State’s closer to #198—your Turkey pulled that number out of his copious cloaca, but it feels about right.
- Nov 15 – Michigan State: maybe a street fight, maybe a pity party.
- Nov 22 – Nebraska: not friendly territory.
- Nov 29 – Rutgers (Home): pray the Scarlet Knights overdo the Thanksgiving stuffing; that might be the season’s lone chance at competence.
Bowl eligibility? Fuggedaboudit! Pride? Missing in action. Hope? On injured reserve.
Turkey’s Bottom Line
- Record: 3-5 (0-5 Big Ten)
- Coach: Terry Smith, flying a holding pattern until the search committee chooses Franklin’s successor (and no, dorks, it won’t be Urban Meyer)
- Pass Defense: burned for 316 and 4 TDs.
- Rush Defense: 164 yards allowed.
- Lines: Both Offensive and Defensive — suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
- Sacks: 0.
- Only Defensive Pulse: Amari Campbell, 8 tackles.
- Offense: Kaytron Allen 21 carries and a prayer.
The interim coaches talk about “finishing strong.” The Turkey calls it “flushing quietly.”
Ohio State 38, Penn State 14.
The roar is gone; only the gurgle remains.
I’ll be back mid-week with a loot at the forthcoming Indiana loss.
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K. John says
Right now I am thinking we have seen all the winning we will see this year. Perfect 0 and 9 in Big Ten play. Franklin’s fingerprints are all over this team. Dual SYSTEM coordinators who can’t adjust to the talent on hand? Check. Least talented front seven in memory? Check. Least talented roster since at least the 80s? Check. This dumpster fire featuring a large number of players that are only on the roster to get to the NFL and/or draw a paycheck are checked out. Indiana, whose head coach is clearly interested in making a statement early and often after his signature achievement was dismissed out of hand by most people, comes to town on Saturday. He ain’t leaving without covering the spread. Not happening. After that? Michigan State, who suddenly is closer to competent on offense after benching their pay check quarterback. Talent wise, they have a better O-line, tight and receivers than we do and the Ds are roughly equal. Loss. Then Nebraska. We’ll see how they do without Raiola under center. If they do well? Loss. Then, on the road with nothing to play for at Rutgers.
It was stupid to sign Franklin to the contract they did while he was in the middle of dropping five games against the hardest schedule he has played. That is all that needs to be said. Four ten win teams. Four losses. One borderline top 25 team. Another loss, and the only one that can really be blamed on Clifford’s injury. No impact on the other ones at all.
The Nittany Turkey says
I can’t see any wins, either. By the time we hit Rutgers, we’ll need more than their turkey coma to avoid the perfect Big Ten season — perfectly devoid of wins, that is.
What’s worse is how the hell are we even going to put a premier product on the field in the next three years or so, regardless of who the incoming head coach might be? Talent, such as it is, will be bolting like rats off a sinking ship. They better have someone adept at playing the transfer portal when January 2 rolls around.
This year’s team was supposed to have been the whizbang recruiting class coming to fruition. What happened?
—TNT