The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for Adam Lambert

Anticlimactic Final?

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I started watching American Idol at the very end of Season One. In fact, my first taste of it was the results show in which Kelly Clarkson beat out Justin Guarini. ???? ??? Kelly seemed to this Mouse to be the clear winner. In Season Two, I repeated this procedure, as I thought the endless weekly hoopla would bore me and I wanted to cut to the chase. However, there was something lacking as I watched the fat black guy (Ruben Studdard) edge out the gay white guy (Clay Aiken). Having missed the whole season, I thought they were both mediocre and really didn’t know which one was the lesser of two evils. Those two years led me to wonder what went on before the final show, in the season leading up to it.

And, so it was that the next season, Season Three, I decided to watch the whole damn thing from start to finish. That was the less than stellar year in which Fantasia Barrino edged Diana DeGarmo in the final. Have you heard of either of them? I didn’t think so. Have you heard of Jennifer Hudson? She finished seventh. She wuz robbed.

In spite of the vagaries of winner selections, I’ve watched each subsequent season. Verily, it is drivel, but it is mildly entertaining drivel. None of the winners ever suited me until the voters selected David Cook over David Archuleta last year, but that was only because there wasn’t much of a field to choose from and I couldn’t stand the little creepy kid. This year, it has long seemed like Adam Lambert is the forgone conclusion, but the history of the fickle voters suggests that it is a mistake to count out his opponent, Kris Allen, prematurely.

Certainly, Lambert has a set of pipes on him. He can hit the high notes and he sings on key. He’s flamboyant, a showman through and through. However, some of his antics can put off a less than sophisticated audience (and sometimes, even a sophisticated one). He is good looking, but in the words of Artificially Sweetened, “He could be a woman!” Yes, he’s pretty, alright. So, perhaps he’ll lose the so-called homophobic vote out there. The latest rumor about him is that he brought his boyfriend to one of the American Idol dinners. I don’t really give a shit if he’s a fruit, but it might put off some voters.

Allen is probably going to get the Christian vote, although he has stated that he wants to be judged on his voice alone. His voice alone ain’t enough, though. He’s been known to hide behind a piano, and his stage presence is less than awe inspiring. Last week, though, he nailed his second number, which he accompanied on an acoustic guitar. If he can continue to rock the show with the momentum thus established, he’s got an excellent chance. This Mouse thinks Kris can make no mistakes if he wants to win. That means selection of material, arrangements, stage presence, and technical competence all have to be “spot-on”, as Simon would say.

The voters have surprised us in the past. No way did I think Taylor Hicks could ever beat Katharine McPhee in Season Five. There must be a helluva lot of voters in Birmingham, Alabama—that’s all I can say. It would certainly explain Studdard over Aiken and Hicks over McPhee. Of course McPhee was from the San Francisco Bay Area, where they would rather sip chardonnay and watch the gay rights parade on Castro Boulevard than watch American Idol. She was sultry, zaftig, and sexy, and she was sure as hell my idol that year. I think the mature male contingent either refrained from voting or didn’t bother watching. Sorry to go off-topic, but I merely wanted to present an example of the voters’ annoying tendencies to go against my superior judgment.

Back to tonight’s final, who will win? For that, this Mouse feels honored to bring in a distinguished prognosticator, The Nittany Turkey himself. Here’s what that curmudgeonly fowl has to say:

Thanks, Mouse. That brings us to the Official Turkey Poop Prediction for American Idol Season Eight. ??????? ????? But first, let me say that I’m tired of picking up your droppings, so I’m glad you’re going into hibernation for a while after American Idol concludes this season. We won’t be feeding you much until football season, anyway. Oh, and there was a rumor that this Turkey’s mother hen’s cat might be coming for a visit. But I digress. Enough with the annoying little pipsqueak, already, and back to the task at hand. The current gambling line reveals that Adam is the odds-on favorite at 1-3, while Kris is offering a decent payout at 12-5. Allen has the Big Mo on his side coming into this match race—he’s been steadily improving, but he needs to run a perfect race to win.  This Turkey has never been known to bet the chalk in a horse race, and I won’t do so here, either. ???? 1xbet I like the dark horse over the gelding. It’s Kris Allen by a nose.

Home Stretch for the Idols

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After having given us the requisite scare last week, the 100,000 9-14 year-olds who vote in this American Idol thing cast 45 million votes (while somehow forgetting to vote for Adam Lambert) managed to get it right, dumping Matt and leaving us with Adam, Allison, Danny, and Kris.

Everybody’s front runner, Lambert, actually wound up in the bottom two. It’s getting down to the time when the best of the bunch could actually be eliminated by a stroke of voting stupidity, much as Jennifer Hudson and Chris Daughtry were dumped in their respective seasons.

I suppose it doesn’t really matter to me whether Adam leaves the competition early. He’s achieved the visibility he needs to move on and do well in the music business. In fact, if he were to go, it might restore some of my lost interest. The actual competition once again would be meaningful, instead of being a foregone conclusion. But that probably won’t happen, so I probably won’t dwell on it. Maybe. Perhaps.

Matt was the weakest of the pretenders, and he deserved to go. I don’t know why the judges wasted their ridiculous “save” on him. They would have been in a big jam last week were Adam indeed eliminated and they had no capability for saving him.  In an earlier post, I told you that judicious use of the judges’ save would be an important strategic consideration. It appears to this Mouse that they used it prematurely.

This week is rock & roll week. Unfortunately, it’s still got a two hour slot, which probably means that we’ll be subjected to two songs from each semi-finalist, most of the aggregation of which will be lame. Nevertheless, it’s rock, so all should do well, and the show might even wind up being entertaining.

It goes without saying that contestants will need to choose the right songs in order to best showcase their individual talent. The so-called judges will be all full of stupid advice centering around “at this stage in the competition…” — except for Paula, that is. She’ll be all full of love for the contestants and full of vapid utterances for the contestants, whom she’ll call “Honey.” I can hardly wait.

Minus Two!

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No great loss on American Idol last week, as the ship’s cargo was lightened by two lightweight sailors who were just along for the ride. Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai bit the dust at the behest of the admiralty — better known as the collection of 14 year-olds who dominate the “voting public.” So, America voted and we lost some dead wood. Whoop-de-doo!

Any fool knows at this point that whoever goes up against Adam Lambert is going to lose, but the remaining four wannabes will hang in there as long as they can. With five left, we can take comfort in knowing that there are only four more weeks of this crap! How we will maintain interest is up to us as individuals. This Mouse, like a lot of humans, hangs in from week to week tolerating bad acts while waiting for Lambert to favor him with his latest surprise.

However, with the Stanley Cup Playoffs in progress and the Mouse’s favorite Penguins still in it, potential interference is afoot. When this occurs, we leave you in the astute hands of The Runnin’ Redhead for your play-by-play commentary. This week, the Antarctic birds are awaiting determination of their second-round opponent, so the Mouse is liable to be free.

I didn’t hear what the theme would be this week. Perhaps they’ll do the music of The Trashmen. All contestants will be required to do their own take on Surfin’ Bird as well as one other of The Trashmen’s obscure non-hits.