The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Trojan War!

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(I thought I could resist that title temptation, but nooooo…….)

#5 Penn State (5-0, 2-0 Big Ten) at USC (3-2, 1-2 Big Ten)

USC Trojans

Wow! The Penn State Nittany Lions, who backed into the #5 spot in the AP college football poll, will hop onto a silver bird in Harrisburg on Thursday for their first non-backyard road trip of the 2024 season. Their opponent, USC, awaits them, pissed off after an unexpected 24-17 conference loss to Minnesota last week, which unrolled the Trojans right out of the Top 25.

Fancy Pants

Penn State’s ascension in the polls was unrelated to the sucky UCLA game last week, which should have lowered their status. As a four-touchdown favorite, the Lions sleepwalked their way to a 27-11 victory, with the help of some questionable officiating. Their good fortune resulted from Upset Saturday, on which #1 and #4 teams, among other highly ranked squads, fell to lesser opponents. A slow start this week would imperil that generous ranking, if not the Nittany Lions’ playoff hopes.

Obstacles to Overcome

PSU has a few things going against it this week. First, the long road trip and associated jet lag won’t help them get off to an uncharacteristic quick start. “We’re a second-half team.” Yeah, right. Kickoff is at 3:30 PM Eastern time, which is 12:30 PM in L.A. Noon starts on the road have never been a good thing for this team.

Next, we have the uncertainty of Nick Singleton’s recovery. Although he is expected to play, the same words were spoken in advance of the UCLA game, in which he didn’t play.

Finally, there is a big intangible. USC will be at home and they will be pissed off after the Minnesota loss. Recall that after losing a close game to Michigan, Lincoln Riley’s boys destroyed Wisconsin the following week, 38-21.

Some pseudo-experts think Penn State is just coasting, waiting for some opposition. That sounds like bullshit to me. On the other hand, in playing just well enough to win five games, they have demonstrated that they can maintain some semblance of control.

But really, Boys and Girls, who the hell have they played? Soporifically, against Illinois at home in Beaver Stadium two weeks ago and again against UCLA. Hugely favored in both games, they did not cover the spreads. So, they’re either underperforming, or they are overrated. I am leaning toward the latter.

Keys to the Game (as the hack sports commentators call it)

To beat USC, they better take the damn ball and run with it. Literally. In the UCLA game, Penn State managed only 85 yards on thirty carries for an anemic average of 2.8 yards per carry. Of course, as I had mentioned, Nick Singleton did not play. This week, they’re looking at a weaker rushing defense, so they need to capitalize on their strength versus USC’s weakness. USC ranks 87th in rushing defense versus UCLA’s 25th. Michigan ran for 290 yards on them; Minnesota rushed for 193. We need to see a combined effort of at least 200 yards from Singleton, Allen, and Company to soften the defense for some rare (thus far) shots down the field. However, the Trojan’s pass defense has allowed only 157.6 yards per game this year, just 0.6 yards worse than PSU.

On the offensive side, USC can pass. They’re ringing up 292.8 yards per game through the air, so something’s gotta give. With some holes in the PSU secondary, the Trojans are liable to come out throwing. Obviously, the emphasis has shifted away from what used to be USC’s claim to fame, the running game, where the Prophylactics rank in the third quartile, averaging only 149.6 yards per game. (But that sure as hell beats 85!)

I’ll Stick My Neck Out

So, I am hoping that Singleton plays, and I am hoping that the Nittany Lions will be awake, focused, and not stupidly looking forward to the bye week. I will base my prediction on those optimal circumstances, but first, the infallible “it never rains in Southern California” forecast.

Da Wedda

Standard L.A. forecast for game day—partly sunny with a high of 85 and a low of 60, with only a one-percenter chance of rain. Negligible winds. Might be a little warm for our boys, but otherwise, the weather is no factor.

Da Bottom Line

The Nittany Lions, who in my mind have not yet been tested by any team that does not suck, might be looking at their stiffest challenge yet. Half of that is due to the commuting distance. Having commuted from Orlando to Southern California at one stage in my consulting career, I can tell you that it ain’t easy. These guys are lots younger, but jet lag does strange things to brains of all ages. The remaining half is getting the damn anemic offense in gear—both running and passing. If they can take care of business, they can win this one and even blow away the spread.

Analysis (for what it’s worth)

Time now for the Official Turkey Poop Prognostication, the fearless forecast floated forth by this foul, albeit felicitous, fowl. The spread opened at Penn State – 4 and is now – 5.5 as I write this. The over/under has increased from 48.5 to 50.5. Perhaps, the gamblers are optimistic about Singleton and the running game. I’m here to tell you that it is Penn State’s bright, shining hope.

The spread combined with the over/under suggests a Penn State win by a score of 28-22. However, ESPN’s Matchup Predictor gives USC the edge, with a 51.6% chance of winning. Home field advantage must be heavily weighted in ESPN’s algorithm. After all, the cavernous L.A. Memorial Colisseum was built for the 1932 Olympics, was home to the 1984 Olympics, and will be the primary venue for the 2028 Olympics. So what? Well, O.J. Simpson played many games there, too. I know, I know. I’m stalling. So, I’ll spit it out, already: Penn State 31, USC 20. Yeah, they cover the spread and go over. Howzat for non-Sanguinarian optimism?

End Notes

While I hope to be back after the game to recap it and gloat about my highly accurate prediction, a couple of things might throw a monkey wrench into my plans.

First, right now as I am writing this, my area is under a hurricane warning and a tornado watch, thanks to an unruly lad named Milton. For the next twenty-four hours, we’ll be dealing with hell’s fury, but we won’t be out of the woods even then. First, a great potential for a protracted power outage exists. Flooding is expected due to up to fifteen inches of rain, and flood waters tend to rise maddeningly slowly. Furthermore, there will be property damage to assess and cleanup to be initiated. So, that all sucks.

Even if all the stars line up, I will not be watching the game live. It is scheduled on Yom Kippur, and as a Jew I must atone for my copious sins and fast between Friday sundown and Saturday sundown. I answer to a higher authority than the football gods on the Day of Atonement. Therefore, I will be watching the game after darkness sets in. I’ll need to set up a second screen to watch the all-important #2 tOSU at #3 Oregon game, which kicks off shortly after sunset. All this assumes that I will not be dealt a devastating blow by Milton.

See you on the other side!

Mount Kilimanjaro Travelogue: Weekly Update

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Hurricane Milton, now a Category 5, bears down on the Florida peninsula. As I write this, I am preparing for the worst. I have often stated that writing is therapeutic for me, so I’ll take a break from my hurricane preparations to share my Mounjaro update and my damn fool opinions with you.

No, I am not on a journey and this is not a travelogue. Yes, I am crazy. So where did the title come from?

An Ernest Hemingway fan, I’m not. I have never been to Tanzania. What’s up with Mount Kilimanjaro, already? Well, I’ll tell ya. Facebook removed my last update because their CommunityStandardBot detected the name of a current vogue drug, Mounjaro. Throughout the history of the commercialized Internet, spammers have used popular keywords to attract attention to unrelated posts. Therefore, Facebook shit a brick thinking I’m spamming my Facebook friends.

I’ve appealed their decisions, but because they’re idiots in charge of social media lunacy and have complete control, I’m not likely to win.

Moon over Mounjaro

Posting a picture of a Mounjaro (there, I said it again) injector pen also triggers Facebook’s schizophrenic paranoia. Therefore, I have replaced that image with something more consistent with the title of this week’s column. The picture at right adds a full moon rising over Mount Kilimanjaro. It is symbolic of the moon I would love to shoot at the entire Facebook executive suite. In any case, I will continue to provide these weekly updates while I am on Mounjaro.

Subscribe and Save

If you want, you can subscribe to this blog by entering your email address. You’ll receive an email notification whenever I post a new column. Then, we won’t need to dick with Facebook. Nevertheless, I shall continue to attempt to post links to my Facebook accounts.

Mounjaro Off Shortage List

During the week, the US FDA removed all doses of Mounjaro and Zepbound from their shortage list. As I reported last week, this means compounding pharmacies and their telehealth partners are in deep shit. They will be unable to sell copycat tirzepatide, the generic name of those two drugs.

Panic is evident among the gratuitous weight loss community. They feel that they have a right to the generic drug at whatever price they feel is “fair”. Sensing the forthcoming shutdown of the compounders, they are now exhorting manufacturer Eli Lilly & Company to provide them “fairly priced” name-branded Zepbound. Their logic is that Lilly giveth and Lilly taketh away, so maybe give back a little. By declaring to the FDA that the shortage is over, Lilly set the process in motion for disallowing most compounded alternatives. By rule, most compounding pharmacies must cease and desist. Thus, addicted customers are denied their fix and are whining up a storm.

Money Talks and Bullshit Walks

We all know that money talks and bullshit walks. Those alarmed customers will make much crowd-sourced noise, thinking they have sufficient market power to impel Lilly to think twice about pricing their now monosourced product. After all, “influencers” used their influence to influence Lilly to “release the vials” at a reduced price. (I explained that move in a prior post). Lilly prices their name-branded product too high for some current buyers of the generic product. But why would Lilly care? They’re not in business for our health, as the saying goes.

Bernie Sanders and the U.S. Senate can conduct showboat investigations of drug prices all they want. Are you taking that pre-election bait? It’s all nudge-nudge, wink-wink shenanigans. They know that money talks and bullshit walks. Politicians are always spewing the latter, because the money will flow to them one way or another.

I do not blame Lilly for wanting to recoup their investment in the product’s development, manufacturing, and marketing. Parasitic compounders can provide cheaper products because they did not make those heavy investments, and now the jig is up. No more gravy train.

When Did Crying Poor Mouth Ever Work?

Lilly should therefore use its big bucks and the legal system to protect its patents. The “but I can’t afford the brand-name prices” argument is specious. It is tantamount to my HOA neighbors loudly protesting a well justified fee increase because they personally cannot afford it. The increase is necessary because irresponsible prior HOA boards had kept fees too low for too long, acceding to the wishes of the poor-mouthers and compounding the problem as time passed. The objectors ignore what the community budget makes plainly evident. It’s all about them, you know, even when they altruistically band together to rectify systemic injustices that imperil their personal coffers.

If they cannot afford the prevailing prices, they can find weight-loss alternatives that are more affordable. Not eating is dirt cheap, for example. I’ve often stated that those who want to lose weight could use the money they are spending on tirzepatide to hire a dietitian, a psychological counselor, and a personal trainer, and still have leftover money for a Glamour Shot of their slimmed-down bod.

That concludes my weekly Mounjaro-related rant. Now onto other subjects.

How Am I Doing on Mounjaro?

While not Mounjaro related, I’m going to get an MRI later today—that is, if the imaging center doesn’t decide to close for the coming storm. Last week, I mentioned that I had tweaked my back while on vacation in September. I have been dealing with back pain and sciatica symptoms since then. We’ll see where the imaging leads. I’ll keep you in the loop. Back to my ongoing Mounjaro therapy and related subjects.

Glucose Tracking

I had previously mentioned that I started using a Dexcom Stelo glucose biosensor, an over-the-counter continuous glucose monitor. The first 15-day sensor worked well. However, the second one started giving me erratic readings, typically 20-30 mg/dL higher than my blood glucometers. I contacted Dexcom customer service, who investigated my claim and agreed to provide a replacement. It arrived three days after they opened my case. Now THAT’S excellent customer service!

I’ll wait until after my MRI to attach the new biosensor. Dexcom warns customers not to wear them while undergoing magnetic resonance imaging, lest they incur damage to the product. I’d also be worried about causing the little lithium battery in it to explode on my arm, but no need—the radiological techs would make me remove it, anyway. In this connection, my lovely, comedic wife Jenny retorted that someday, the Israelis will figure out how to incorporate Semtex and a detonator in Hezbollah continuous glucose monitors, much as they had done with pagers and handheld transceivers. But I digress.

The Numbers, Already!

My average glucose for the week, as measured by my glucometer (Ascensia Contour Next One), was 109 mg/dL, up one from last week. Call it flat. I am pleased with my glucose progress, the result of dietary adjustments and Mounjaro.

Blood pressure continues to be higher than it was before my vacation and my bout with Covid, which raises concerns about undetected Covid-related issues causing secondary hypertension. Also, my back problem cannot be helping. The average for the week was 134/76; last week, it was 135/80.

Finally, my weight decreased by five pounds during the week, perhaps related to some “distress in the lower tract,” as the old Pepto-Bismol commercials called it. Over two weeks, my weight loss was 3.6 pounds, which is in the acceptable range. I do not want to be losing more than one to one-and-a-half pounds per week. The main objective is to control blood glucose; my doctor and I agree that we’ll take the weight loss if it comes. Accordingly, I remain on a low dose of Mounjaro, still 5 mg.

Hurricane Milton

As I write this, Hurricane Milton is a Category 5 storm. It has taken direct aim on Central Florida, where we live.

We were preparing to breathe a sigh of relief, thinking we got off easy when Hurricane Helene dealt only a glancing blow less than two weeks ago. Alas, now we’re more directly threatened by Milton. To compound our problem, debris associated with Helene still hasn’t been completely removed.

Furthermore, another rainmaking storm has been hanging around our area dumping several inches of rain since Sunday morning. Forecasters expect Milton to produce an additional eight to twelve inches, hence flooding will be a severe problem. Some Central Florida communities have not yet recovered from the flooding associated with Hurricane Ian, two years ago.

We have not had a hurricane as powerful as Milton in Central Florida in my forty-eight years here. In 2017, we had Hurricane Irma, which precipitated my re-roofing and interior drywall repair. Twenty years ago, Hurricane Charley, who made landfall on the Southwest Coast and whose sustained winds were down to 100 mph when he arrived was a more compact and faster moving storm. Nevertheless, it dealt a catastrophic blow to the Orlando area. A good friend of mine lost his house to Charley. It was damaged beyond repair.

Mounjaro Shipment Delayed

I just got a call from Express Scripts, the dreaded PBM that fulfills my prescriptions when I get pissed off at Publix. I had ordered a three-month supply of Mounjaro from them, which they say will be delayed due to Hurricane Milton. They will wait for carriers to resume operation, then they will expedite my shipment via an express delivery agent. I was grateful for the call, because I had been concerned that my Mounjaro would be blown away or ruined if delivered around Milton’s impact period. So, one fewer thing to worry about.

My current stock of Mounjaro is sufficient to get me through a few weeks. However, I still have some concerns about how I will refrigerate it if we have a protracted power outage. I do not have a generator, but I have a couple of battery powered refrigeration devices that will work until the batteries lose their charge. I have enough fully charged LiFePO4 batteries to keep things going for a couple of days. After that, unless I can find a local friend with power and refrigerator space, I would need to accept Eli Lilly’s word that the drug is good stored at room temperature for up to twenty-one days.

That’s All for Now

I’ve prattled on long enough, letting you know about the end of the shortage, my progress on Mounjaro, and the one thing on everyone’s mind here in Central Florida, Hurricane Milton.

While I am uneasy (to put it mildly), I’ll “hunker down” and hope for the best. I plan to be back here writing another weekly update for you next week, come hell or high water—and we’ll have plenty of both! I’ll let you know how Milton treated us.