The Nittany Turkey

Penn State (3-0) 63, Kent State (1-2) 10

Sleepy, hung-over, almost full Penndot-St. Joe Memorial stadium was the scene of the nooner showdown between these two powerhouses. Such an air of anticipation, already! No one had any idea how this tense contest would play out. Never mind. I had a brief, delusional moment, probably due to memory loss associated with the two year-old’s birthday party last night, including fighting our way through 300,000 baby stroller laden British tourists who don’t know which side of the street to walk on at Disney Springs. The highlight of that event, though was watching the conclusion of a hotly contested LSU-Auburn game, won by LSU with a last-second field goal. Good stuff, and got to watch it with the two year-old’s grandpa, who is a fanatical LSU alum. A good time was had by all! The two year-old didn’t give a crap, sleeping through most of it, but the adults were suitably entertained.

Very Cold Mimosas at Mike’s Garage

Mike (Jackstand) wanted us to bring some ingredients for mimosas, and he wanted them kept very cold. Dry ice to the rescue!

Now, back to the mundane PSU-KSU game and, well, let’s see how well my distant memory works. As you know, while PSU drew first blood, the touchdown pass was called back due to penalty, which would happen twice during the game. OK, one time at noon because they’re so sleepy they put their jockstraps on backward — that’s understandable. But three friggin’ times? After the proverbial cobwebs were Swiffered-out, the Nittany Lions settled down to a sloppy, 63-10 rout, outclassing the upstart Golden Flashers.

Who da man?

This week’s Nittany Turkey Prognostication Poobah Award goes to the Nittany Turkey himself, who predicted the final score precisely. However, this turkey was so certain of the prediction that he advised a stay-away posture on betting the game. So, ain’t it peculiar that with that admonition, he nails the prediction. Ploo!

Stats are for losers.

But we need to look into the stats just a bit. Penalties’ll killya. Penn State’s nine penalties for 85 yards, including the aforementioned three called-back touchdown plays simply suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks! And what’s with the three offsides penalties by the definsive (that’s how we pronounce it in the South) line? They had ample opportunity to watch game videos and practice against a simulated Kent State tempo offense. WTF? Andandadn what about dropped passes and coughed up balls? Although they didn’t lose any of the fumbles, they should be doing better with one-fourth of the season behind them. The one actual turnover was a quirky interception that involved a hot throw to Miles Sanders that was muffed right into the waiting arms of a defender.

Dropped passes — hey! I’m have no idea what is cooking with Juwan Johnson, but to me he looks rather statuesque out there. He had all zeroes on the stat line, except for targets. However, Juwan’s lack of performance was offset by the trio of Deandre Thompkins, Brandon Polk, and K.J. Hamler — and, of course, freshman Daniel George who combined with freshman QB Sean Clifford late in the game to complete a record-setting 95-yard TD completion in Garbage Time (GT) with 6:55 left in the game. (The record that was broken — the longest play from scrimmage — was set in 1919, a 99-year record). Very cool.

As one would expect, PSU was dominant in the stats overall, but I wanted them to hold KSU to 150 yards total offense, and they failed to do so. The Flashers wound up with 221 yards, including 180 yards passing, completing over half their attempted passes, a credit to them, but mute testimony to the fact that this defense needs work. They showed up, though, recording seven sacks and 15 TFLs. Superstud Shareef Miller led the way with two sacks and three TFLs himself. Linebacker Cam Brown had seven tackles including two TFLs.

Penn State’s high-powered, juggernaut, quick-strike offense under the direction of Trace McSorley (11-22, 2 TD, 1 INT) rung up 643 yards total offense, 346 passing and 297 on the ground. McSorley also had 54 yards and three TDs rushing.

What conclusions can we draw?

One conclusion is that the team still needs to work on ball handling and discipline. Going into the Big Ten schedule, they need to become more sure-handed and attentive. Although it won’t take a fully awake team to beat Illinois on Friday night, tOSU looms in two weeks. (Last night the Buckeyes showed some vulnerabilities in the 40-28 win over TCU, but they also showed they know how to overcome them. But what do I know? I fell asleep during that game, due to too much beer at the two year-old party.).

Are we ready for the Big Ten? You tell me.

 

I’ll be back with some highly unintelligent (and perhaps unintelligible) comments and predictions for the Illiniwek game.