The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for 2008

Archives for 2008

Playing with Matches

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We all know that if we play with matches, we’re going to get burned. ??????? ?????? ??? ???????? However, this Turkey is a pyromaniac, so it is natural that on occasion his pinfeathers should get singed. We look forward to a lot more of that kind of thing from a new blog called Playing With Matches, the nascent brainchild of Dr. Raven’s little sister.

To bring this into perspective from the standpoint of The Nittany Turkey, being Dr. Raven’s little sis means that she, the progenitor of Playing With Matches, is the actual, real life sister-in-law of one of the infamous McCabe Sisters of Notre Dame, the collection of whom gladly (albeit unwittingly) serve as indicators by proxy of Penn State football’s low ebb of mediocrity—a tenuous tie-in, to be sure, but hey, what the hell!

The proprietress’ first post involves something that gets on her nerves about her parents. I won’t spoil it for you by telling you what that is. Hell, it was amusing to the Turkey, anyway. I cannot wait to read more of her slices of life. ???? ???? ??? ??? ???? I mean, really!

This unauthorized publicity campaign by this fallopian fowl is an advance birthday present for her, because I don’t know when the hell her birthday is. ????? ??? ??? ????? Go on, start a fire! Get burned a little.

*The Turkey is not responsible for any damage to life or property that might arise in connection with Playing With Matches.

King to Go Pro. Happy or Sad?

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For the first time since LaVar Arrington opted for early entry to the NFL Draft in 2000, a Penn State player is bolting. That would be Justin King, he of the great, yet unfulfilled, expectations, who will formally declare his eligibility on Tuesday.

The so-called shutdown corner somehow made All-Big Ten in 2007, perhaps more on reputation than performance. He was notably absent on crucial plays during the season, particularly in the later games. Rumor had it that a shoulder injury was the cause, but this was never confirmed.

Will this be as devastating to the Penn State defense as many have proposed? In the sense that there will be one fewer cornerback on the roster than expected, yes. There is no depth at that position. Even if King was played at the level of Sargent or Wallace, his absence would be felt. Who will be the nickel back? I suppose time will tell whether guys like Harriott and Timmons can step up. Recruitment seems to have been lacking at this position. What this Turkey sees ahead is a bad year for the PSU secondary, and even worse years ahead.

Story at Fight On State.

College Football Withdrawal

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Sunset at St. George Island State ParkThe Turkey is back from a very nice few days up in the Panhandle of Florida, about 250 miles northwest of here as the turkey flies (but since this Turkey’s Jeep doesn’t fly, particularly across the Gulf of Mexico, it’s closer to 300 miles). I had one helluva good time hiking, backpacking, and Geocaching up there at Torreya and St. George Island state parks, not spending much time at all thinking about college football. (Normally, at this time of year I’m sucking up all the football I can get in preparation for the long drought.)

I returned home to suburban Orlando Sunday night, whereupon I received the following multi-pronged reality check:

  1. My fears about the Big Ten being outperformed in bowl games were borne out, with the exception being the pleasant surprise Michigan victory over Florida. All the other Big Ten bowl games went down as I had predicted. Draw your own conclusions. I did.
  2. How bout that Steelers-Jags game? Ben Roethlisberger sure knows how to throw INTs at the wrong time, and Mike Tomlin sure knows how to go for two at the wrong time. Maybe they’ll do better working on their golf game now.
  3. The uncharacteristically cold weather here in the Orlando area killed my showy hibiscus in the front yard. I have Al Gore to thank for not bringing his promised global warming. (Perhaps that’s why the global warming advocates are now trying to waffle by dubbing the nebulously unproven concept “climate change.”)
  4. The cream does indeed rise to the top in college bowl games and the NFL playoffs. Pretenders such as Hawaii, South Florida, and Ohio State in the college ranks, and Pittsburgh and Tampa Bay in the pros got what they deserved.
  5. Someone forgot to flush a toilet before we left for a few days. I will not describe the result.
  6. Chuck Norris is apparently running for VP on the Huckabee ticket. He was anything but “Missing in Action” in those victory poses at the Iowa Caucuses.
  7. Barack Obama is presumably having great success running for President with a platform of “I’m cute and well spoken and I ain’t Bush.” College girls are showing up in great numbers to vote for young, cute, and inexperienced. However, reason prevailed in New Hampshire, where the Republicans’ great white hope named Hillary edged out young and cute. We wish Mrs. Bubba well in the remaining primaries. The Turkey’s assessment? Populism is a sham, a political ploy to generate votes, and no iconoclasts or altruists are out there running for the top elected office—only those with blind ambition. Yet we voters continue to vote for the panaceas these guys and babes offer. Is it any wonder that someone running on a vacuous platform of “change” does so well? (It worked pretty well for Bubba, but I digress…)
  8. I managed to read in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette that Joe Paterno had said that son Jay should not get the PSU head coaching job when the senior Paterno retires. That’s either a stroke of reality or a master manipulation.
  9. The other blogs are done with their infernal year-end “Top 10” lists. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. You’ll see no such hackneyed, worn-out, unoriginal journalistic device here.
  10. I had to add a #10 to make this an infernal top ten list.

Mostly, I just wanted to let you know that I’m back and I’m ready to blow acrid smoke again. We Penn State fans could surely appreciate an uneventful and uplifting off-season, given all the crap that took place off the field last year. Alas, “uneventful” should not mean losing primo recruits to Notre Dame and USC, as has been reported elsewhere ad nauseam. Furthermore, the Nittany Nation continues to be constantly abuzz with lame-ass speculation about the coaching situation—who is leaving, who is staying, when will Joe go, etc. Like, give it a rest, already. Oh, and then there’s the quarterback controversy in the making, with the Clark/Devlin situation echoing Robinson/Morelli in Bizarro World fashion. It’s tempting to write about it, but no doubt it’ll be beaten to death elsewhere. Accordingly, I hope we will be able to find fresh, non-contrived, positive things to expound upon in the forthcoming months.

It’s going to be a long off-season. For now, I’ll sign off reiterating my wishes for a happy and healthy 2008 for all of you.