Last week’s American Idol results show, replete with the expanding Kelly Clarkson and the insipid Kanye West both hawking new CDs, was the end of the road for little, lovely Jasmine and handsome, smiling Jorge. No great loss in either case, but little Jasmine was quite pretty. Fortunately, the voters kept Megan Joy and Alexis Grace around for another week. Mouse needs his eye candy.
The “Judges’ Save” was introduced as a safety net measure for preventing the repeat of such erstwhile early exit travesties as Chris Daughtry and Jennifer Hudson. Judges will get to save one, single contestant who is eliminated by the popular vote during the finals. They must confer during one of the commercials and their decision must be unanimous. This is like George W. Bush losing in the popular vote, but the Supreme Court of the United States declared him a winner, anyway. (I’m getting a great kick out of myself here.) Anyhow, assuming that the public knocks out someone whom the judges feel to be worthy of continuing, they can make the save—just once. Alas, the judges unanimously chose not to save either the weeping Jasmine or the pragmatic Jorge.
This gives the judges a raison d’être for the finals. Otherwise, they have no real purpose, other than to provide inane commentary and inimical diatribe (in Simon’s case) after each performance, the whole of which carries no weight at all.
I think they ought to implement an analogous procedure called “The Judges’ 86.” This would allow the judges to confer and unanimously boot an unworthy contestant such as Season 6’s Sanjaya Malakar, even if an asshole with a huge following, such as Howard Stern, for example, tries to manipulate the popular voting to make a mockery of the show, which does quite well in making a mockery of itself without his help!
The Redhead just pointed out to this Mouse that this year, like other years, we have a subplot about which Christianophobes can assert conspiracy theories. Some contestants have religion and other believers vote for them because of it, perhaps unfairly to the other contestants who are not religious. Like, duh! This is news only to those who wish to make it news. The American Idol voting public is motivated by things other than talent? No kidding! It’s a popularity contest, any way you slice it, and common interests, good looks, a decent personality, and, perhaps, a desire to punish other contestants will get the votes over ability anytime—just like presidential politics. But I digress.
This week is Grand Ole Opry Week. So, we can look forward to Carrie Underwood, the most successful Idol thus far, hawking yet another album on the results show. Good thing she stopped dating Tony Romo or she wouldn’t have time to do all this. She would be busy indulging him about how bad the Cowboys suck and what a dick T.O. really is. Anyway, we’ll also get to hear how these contestants handle country music. We’ll see just how versatile they is!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:46 pmThese days, they have tramp stamps all over the place before they’re 14.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:47 pmI hope she stays. She does interesting things with her songs.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:47 pm“Tramp stamps?” Never heard that one!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:51 pmhttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Tramp_stamp
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:51 pmPaula is wiping her nose on Simon’s arm?
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:52 pmOkay, bathroom break.
Who is this guy again? He’s got the little girls screamin’.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:53 pmMatt…you’re a little flat, buddy. I’m not connecting with ya, man.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:53 pmMatt. Okay.
Man, the kiddies dig him.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:53 pmMatt Giraud from Kalamazoo.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:53 pmHe’s not trying to connect with you, he’s going after the girls.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:54 pmOh yes, dahling, Matt is an “artist.”
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:54 pmPaula is having trouble with words tonight. Must be something good in that Coke glass.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:54 pmPaula has new teeth! I wondered why she was talking differently.
She’s got new choppers!
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:55 pmMatt will be around for another week.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:55 pmI don’t know if it’s just me, but I think the talent on AI this season isn’t up to par in general.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:56 pmYeah, he can sing, but geez. Anyhow, one of them goes. Who will it be?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:57 pmYou’re not the only one. I hear that from lots of people. In fact, I’ve heard it every year since Season 2.
I think Lil will bite the dust.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:57 pmI think Allison and Adam are the strongest contenders this season.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:58 pmI think Alexis will get the boot.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:58 pmYou and that TV schmuck with the Sentinel.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 9:59 pmOh, puh-leez, I’m a better critic than that guy!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 9:59 pmWhat the hell is his name? I forget.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 10:00 pmI’ll be here a little after the show gets underway tomorrow–gotta work first.
See you then!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
March 17, 2009 at 10:00 pmWe’ll know soon enough! Seeya tomorrow. There’s still some hockey time left!
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 10:00 pmHal Bodekar.
I don’t think I spelled that correctly.
The Redhead says
March 17, 2009 at 10:01 pmTa Ta!