That dumbass title truism is wishful thinking for the producers of American Idol this season, as to this Mouse, it is all over but the shouting. If Adam Lambert doesn’t win it all, then I’ve had my head straight up my ass for the past few months.
What’s there to talk about here anymore? We can rate or berate performances by the other six pretenders: Allison, Lil, Matt, Danny, Kris, and Anoop. They’ll slowly be eliminated until Adam faces off with either Allison or Danny in the final on May 20. The mediocrity of the wannabes will be clearly apparent and our attention will be easily diverted. Either Lil or Anoop will be eliminated this week. ????? ?????? ??? ???? The other will be eliminated next week. The “Judges’ Save” is still available. They’re going to have to use it one of these weeks to keep the show on track. ???? ???? I don’t think it will be used to save Anoop, but it might save Lil. Ah, what the hell. Who cares! In terms of my favorite trite, ridiculous, Popeyesque, vogue utterence, it is what it is.
I missed a week, so I’m a little out of it. That’s not a bad way to be with respect to this show. I mean, what are we doing this week? The contestants tackle the song stylings of Barney Frank? Almost, but not quite.
I’m told that their guest mentor this week is Quentin Tarantino. Yeah, that’s right, the gory movie guy. So, the singers will be doing the soundtrack from Kill Bill Vols. 1 and 2? Cool!
Any way you slice it, this season of the foregone conclusion is steadily losing this Mouse’s interest. ???? ??????
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The Redhead says
It’s just a one hour show tonight, Sir Mouse. I agree–it’s Anoop or Lil tonight. I predict Anoop.
I think the judges will use their “save” one week when Adam is voted off due to some stupid voting on the public’s part.
See you at 8:00!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
We’ve got six weeks left and six contestants to eliminate. How will it work if the judges execute their “save” option?
If the show is to finish on schedule, they will have to eliminate two competitors in one succeeding week. Perhaps they can have a three-way final?
The other alternative is extending the show’s run to May 27th, but will that be possible? From Fox’s perspective it will be, no doubt, because it will bring more revenue. However, how about changing the Kodak Theater reservation from May 20 to May 27? Will that even be possible, and what kind of cancellation fees would there be? I don’t think it is an issue. If this is part of the plan, chances are that it had been prearranged long ago.
There is no doubt a contingency plan for whichever way the “judges’ save” thing goes. We just ain’t privy to it.
— TMWAX
The Redhead says
“TMWAX.” Transcendental Meditation while Waxing.
The Redhead says
The Redhead is actually here at the start of the show!
The Redhead says
What’s with the “no passing” stripe on Randy’s shirt?
The Redhead says
Geez, Paula is all sparkles this evening.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
It says Lykes Smoked Ham.
The Redhead says
Having Tarentino on may be a stroke of genius. I must say, he and Adam are a good match. The director will probably bring out even more weirdness in Adam.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Who’s that? Phil Spector?
The Redhead says
Hello, Sir Mouse!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Jenny and I are great Kill Bill fans.
The Redhead says
I know you’re a Kill Bill fan. I’m not.
The Redhead says
He’s been on the show before? The guy is bizarro.
The Redhead says
Too gory for me.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I said Jenny and I, not you and I.
The Redhead says
AI is a good show for him. He’s just so bizarre.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yeah, that was he making impertinent comments to cute little Diana DeGarmo in Season Three.
The Redhead says
I hate Aerosmith. Can’t stand them.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Completely outside the box. The weirdest are the most creative.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Stephen Tyler is my role model.
The Redhead says
Allison sounds the same no matter what she’s singing. She’s boring, a dime a dozen.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Shaky start for Little Red.
The Redhead says
I don’t know if the “weirdest” are the most creative but I would say the most “original” are and he sure is that.
The Redhead says
Oh really–what role are you going for?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I want to hear her sing “The Sound of Music” like Pat Benatar would. lolllllllllllllll
The Redhead says
This song sucked, always has and always will.
The Redhead says
Boooo.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I don’t know why they’re standing. She sucked.
The Redhead says
Nono, Climb Every Mountain.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Paula is, as always, full of shit.
The Redhead says
What a bunch of bulls–t.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Climb Every Mountain would be good as Bonnie Tyler.
The Redhead says
Well, Simon is right but that’s not exactly high praise since Lil is such a weak performer.
The Redhead says
Yes!!! Bonnie Tyler:
My love is like a powder keg…Total eclicpse of the heart…
Some of the cheesiest lyrics ever written.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
They’re going to have to play up Allison and Danny, because otherwise the fan base will grow disinterested, with Adam being the obvious winner. Simon’s trying to stir up some sort of apparent competition where there is actually none.
It’s like watching a fucking college all-star team play the fucking Pittsburgh Steelers, ferchrissakes!
The Redhead says
Some think Adam will make a boring AI once he wins.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Who cares what happens with Adam once he wins?
The Redhead says
Well, this choice of song has just killed Anoop. It’s a terrible song and it sounds like he’s going to engage in an Epic Fail.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
He’ll go back to dinner theater. IGAF!
The Redhead says
It would be nice to think some of these kids will have a career. See Clarkson and Underwood. Clarkson is getting some pretty good reviews for her new album.
Anook, start packing, buddy.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
He sucks. He needs to go back to his calculator.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Reviews? Who cares?
The Redhead says
What does IGAF mean?
The Redhead says
Are people booing?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Anoop-Dog!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Anoop looks surprised that they’re giving him good reviews.
The Redhead says
Are they kidding? It was awful.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Kara: looking HOT tonight, baby!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Of course, she always does.
The Redhead says
Well, not hearing anything from Simon is a bummer. So they went long last week and people are pissed because they missed Adam’s performance. Does that mean the only judge who is truly entertaining should have to keep quiet for some performances. B.S.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
This is a pedestrian performance. He has to have one every so often.
The Redhead says
Well, this isn’t as weird as I had hoped it would be.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Kara is truly entertaining for me.
The Redhead says
Yeah, he’s set the bar pretty high for himself.
The Redhead says
He does have some pipes on him though.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Well, he’s safe and it ain’t bad karaoke, but I didn’t need to hear it.
The Redhead says
Wow, Paula is going nuts.
The Redhead says
He’s “dancin’ in the path of greatness,” baby!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
“Dare to dance in the palace of greatness.”
“Fortune rewards the brave.”
— P. Abdul
The Redhead says
Simon is right on–he’s with us on this one, Sir Mouse!
The Redhead says
Right on, Simon!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
It’s the damn originality we watch this guy for, so it was pedestrian IMHO.
The Redhead says
What’s with Ryan tonight? Dude, leave the accents at home.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I mean, it was kind of out-of-the-box Steppenwolf.
The Redhead says
You are so right, Sir Mouse.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Maybe someone will step up to the plate and hit a homer.
Or not.
The Redhead says
The high notes were out of the box and he picked up the tempo. Other than that,
fail.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Danny, Lil, Matt, Kris…come on. Someone? Anyone? Can you hear me out there? SOMEONE?????
The Redhead says
Hit a “homer?”
I didn’t know The Simpsons were watching!
🙂
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Adam left an opening. A good boxer will get his or her punches in. Mediocre boxers will pass it up and wind up getting knocked out. This is Don Dunphy reporting from ringside.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Gotta love the Chi Chi Rodriguez hat.
The Redhead says
In the clearing stands the boxer
and a fighter by his trade
and his carrys the reminder
of every glove that cut him down…
I am leaving, I am leaving
but the fighter still remans
la la la.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Damn…he didn’t wear it.
The Redhead says
“he carries the reminder”
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
You’re speling is attroshus.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I think we can sleep through this one.
The Redhead says
Yeah, it’s pretty bad when I start typing too fast. I have to go back and edit.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
THAT SUCKED!!!
The Redhead says
This stunk up the joint.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yo, Matt. So listen. For me, Matt.. When you hit the bridge, man…but the thing for me for you…
The Redhead says
Despite the yellow traffic line, Randy is looking pretty sharp tonight.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Simon is yawning.
The Redhead says
Bye bye Matt
I think you’re going to cry.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I can’t see Randy. I’m too busy drooling over Kara.
The Redhead says
Goodbye oh Matt goodbye.
The Redhead says
Not Paula?
The Redhead says
Hey hey, Paula
I want to marry you.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
You know I’ll always love Paula. I have a certain fondness for retards.
The Redhead says
So, she’ll always be
Forever Your Girl?
🙂
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
And then, there were three. C’mon Lil, Danny, and Kris. SOMEONE???? ANYONE??????????????
The Redhead says
I’m trying to think of her other songs?
Did she sing her own stuff?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I never listened to her crap.
The Redhead says
Welcome back my friends
to the show that never ends
we’re so glad you could attend
come inside
come inside.
The Redhead says
I worked in radio. I couldn’t help but hear it all.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Danny might make Mr. Blackwell’s list.
The Redhead says
Bring out Diana Ross, otherwise he’s done.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Did you really work in radio?
The Redhead says
Okay, right out of the box, this sux.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
OK…this is gonna suck big time also…..shit!!!! JESUS!!!! HOW BAD IS THIS????? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
He started out bad, but now he’s doing Lionel Ritchie. And it sux.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
He’s doing Barney Frank Sings The Great Hits of Lionel Ritchie.
The Redhead says
Man, this is bad. He is going home without question.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
His masochism????
The Redhead says
What a bunch of b.s., Paula.
Simon knows this stunk.
Simon?
“Brilliant singer?”
Sorry, who was Simon listening to?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
He’s better than this. He sucked tonight.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Lil???????
Kris????????
Anybody in da house?????
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Randy is having simulated intercourse with Simon while Ryan does Randy.
The Redhead says
I loved this movie.
Yeah, yeah, know you hated it.
The Redhead says
He’s safe this week.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I don’t know which movie this is from. I never listen to the damn music.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Oh, yeah…that Irish one.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I remember it. It was the one high point in a dreadfully boring movie that moved too damn slow.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Never quite caught on for me, either.
The Redhead says
It was one of the better performances tonight, Randy.
The Redhead says
He had a sexy thang going. I agree with Kara.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I want Kara to tell me that in exactly the same way.
The Redhead says
Math Guy and I liked the movie A LOT.
The Redhead says
It was more of a “chick flick,” Sir Mouse.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yeah, I’ll buy that.
The Redhead says
Although I know men who loved it.
Math Guy!
My Guy!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Not that I don’t like the sappy ones every so often.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I enjoyed “Elegy.”
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Of course, Penelope Cruz kept me interested.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Oh, hell. The ROse.
The Redhead says
Thought you would like it. I recommend the Philip Roth novel which is a bit more bitter than the film.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
What is a “tinder reed”
The Redhead says
Wow, off key and flat all at the same time.
The Redhead says
Okay, I changed my mind. Lil is going home this week. This is the worst peformance I’ve seen her give. She is so off-key. Wow.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Why does she think that being flat in parts is cool? I mean, otherwise, I like the Arethalistic rendition. But she’s so damn off-key.
The Redhead says
Simon is going to destroy her.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
“PITCHY” TO DA MAX!!!!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Paula is once again totally full of feces.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Simon rolls his eyes.
The Redhead says
Paula heard how much it sucked.
The Redhead says
No, no, no. She is going home.
The Redhead says
Wow–you tell Simon, biaaaatccchhhhh.
The Redhead says
She is not helping herself by going off on Simon.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
That’s right, Lil. How about saying it in English next time.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Lil or Matt. Probably Lil.
The Redhead says
Bye bye Lil.
You gave me the chill.
Go take the pill.
Cause you are gonna
feel ill.
The Redhead says
I wanna hear Adam sing White Rabbit!
The Redhead says
Yes, it’s going to be Lil.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yeah, Adam does the song stylings of Gracie Slick.
Miley Cyrus and Jennifer Hudson????
The Redhead says
Miley Cyrus?
ICCCCKKKKKKKKKK……
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Until tomorrow night, Madame Red…I bid you goodnight.
The Redhead says
Yeah, bring Gracey on for a little tutoring!!
Go ask Alice
I’ll think she’ll knowwwwwww….
The Redhead says
Goodnight, Sir Mouse.
See you tomorrow night,
in the house!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Just remember what the dormouse said.