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Home 2009 April Archives for 21st

Archives for April 21, 2009

Adam Will Be Disco Queen This Week

Posted on April 21, 2009 Written by The Mouse Who Ate Xanax

The trail to the Adam Lambert coronation as our next American Idol wends a winding path through musical mediocrity, as the six remaining overmatched challengers repeatedly miss the mark. The show’s new producers (since the product was sold by Nigel Lithgoe after last season) have found it necessary to resort to multiple gimmicks and vacuous cheerleading by the so-called judges in order to maintain some level of interest by the viewing public.

The vaunted “judges’ save” was finally employed last week to save Matt Giraud, who by Simon Cowell’s own admission has no chance to win the competition. As the judges’ save required unanimous agreement, why the hell did Cowell not just assert his negativity by letting Giraud go home? Either the judges wanted to play with their new toy or the producers declared that they would use it last week, lest it not be used.

The upshot is that we get to see Matt for one more week as he and the other chaff desperately chase the front running wheat.

This week, two contestants will be eliminated. That’ll fix them! Now that the judges’ save has been used, there can be no more such manipulation. It is all up to the public vote at this point.

The theme for the week is disco. Why reprise this crappy, dead genre? Who the hell wants to hear all those Korg synthesizers emulating violins again? I sure as hell don’t. As a matter of fact, I won’t. There’s a more important and much more entertaining Stanley Cup hockey game to watch, and I’m damn well going to watch it. I’ll catch up with Idol during the intermissions. Not that anything I’ll see matters. Adam is basically uncontested and it’s a major bore watching all the pretenders screw up their attempts at competition.

May 20 cannot come too soon. No matter who Lambert’s last remaining opponent might be, I feel sorry for him or her. No one in this crew can match Adam’s seasoning, showmanship, flamboyance, and fruitiness (which for some unexplained reason is presently in vogue). Accordingly, I have to ask: How many viewers are tuning in each week to watch Adam Lambert and only Adam Lambert?

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