The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for 2009

Archives for 2009

Illiniwekless Illini Unable to Tomahawk Nittany Lions

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Big Chief Illiniwek
Big Chief Illiniwek

Take that, NCAA! I’m preserving the mascot you banned in 2005, because when you yanked the plug on the big chief, college football lost part of its soul. This Turkey is here to protect the aforementioned soul of college football from the politically correct wanker yankers of the NCAA.

The Fighting Illini (who are still allowed to be fighters, yet cannot have their warrior leader) could have used some more horses and some tomahawks on Saturday. Illinois (1-3, 0-2 Big Ten) had been highly regarded before their season started with a loss to Missouri, but things have gone downhill for them ever since. On Saturday, while playing in front of nearly 63,000 orange-clad fans on their newly remodeled home field, they lost once again, this time to our beloved #15 Nittany Lions (4-1, 1-1 Big Ten), 35-17.

PSU finally had a game that highlighted the rushing offense while making the heretofore incompetent offensive line look competent. Each of the three running backs, Evan Royster, Stephfon Green, and Brent Carter scored a touchdown; Royster and Green each had over 100 yards. The long run of the day was 52 yards, by Green. The two quarterbacks got into the mix, too, with Daryll Clark running 7 times for 83 yards and two touchdowns, with a long run of 51 yards, while Kevin Newsome ran only once, for 16 yards. Overall, the Nittany Lions ate up 338 yards and scored all five touchdowns on the ground, impressively averaging 8.5 yards per carry. Well done, runners and sleeping giants of the o-line! Moreover, kudos to the much-maligned coaches, who apparently spotted something in the Illinois-OSU tape that led them to believe that they could tear up the middle of Illinois zone scheme.

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Healthy Arrogance?

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Those of you who have read my stuff for any length of time know of my ongoing frustration with the medical industry. I need to blow off some more steam about it. This is not a political post, though. While it is my belief that if the government gets involved in health care any more than it already is, they’ll screw it up even more, I’m not going to get into that here. The present state of affairs in provider-patient relationships at issue here, not how it got to where it is.

Why do we accept being pushed around by the health care industry? Others providing services to us could never get away with the arrogance and lack of basic business courtesy. (Well, except for home repair and remodeling contractors. They don’t seem to give a damn, either.) I believe that our system promotes this type of behavior. For most Americans, health insurance comes from the employer, who pays most of the premium. Doctors and hospitals bill the insurance company, not us as individuals. Thus, in many cases, health care providers view the insurance companies and the government (in the case of Medicare patients) as the customer, and patients as transport devices for the all-important insurance or Medicare card (check out Medicare Benefits). This is not true of all practices, but it is certainly an easy rut to slip into for many of them.

With that buildup, you have to be thinking that I have been annoyed beyond the breaking point by some egregious sin committed by a doctor or treatment facility. Well, two things got on my nerves this week. Taken individually, or perhaps even together, they seem like the type of minor annoyances that most of us routinely accommodate — just because that’s the way it is. Again, I ask, why do we tolerate it?

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Whither Chief Illiniwek?

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Big Chief Illiniwek
Big Chief Illiniwek

You know, I miss that old warrior, Big Chief Illiniwek, who was banished by the NCAA in 2005. Here’s an explanatory excerpt from my article of November 11, 2005:

The NCAA had some good news and some bad news for the University of Illinois today. The good news is that the university will be allowed to use its existing nicknames, “Illini” and “Fighting Illini,” which were deemed to be connected to the name of the state and thereby, not offensive. ???? ??????? 365 The bad news is that Chief Illiniwek, the mascot, must go. The penalty for keeping the big chief will be a prohibition on playing in post-season tournaments.

Well, that was then and this is now. The NCAA extortion was effective. Giving up post-season bowl games and basketball tournaments means the loss of big bucks for the athletic program. (Don’t let anyone ever tell you that it isn’t all about money.)

The Illiniwekless Illini have been alternately wreckless and feckless ever since the Big Chief was traded to the Kansas City Chiefs to toil among his other nameless, tribeless colleagues there. (The Illini tried to get tight end Tony Gonzalez for him, but the best the Chiefs would offer was one of Dick Vermeil’s game-worn coaching jockstraps.) Blocking for heap big Larry Johnson, Jr. is a thankless job (in more ways than one), but the Mighty Illiniwek has made no complaints. In this economy, a job is a job. He even tolerates the Chiefs’ version of the Florida State Tomahawk Chop, never once grousing about the warlike tribes from the Southeast Territories. Truly, Liney (as we call him here at the Turkey) is a bighearted brave, and a fearless leader of men. In The Cave on Saturday, we will drink a toast to the Big Chief with the best firewater we can find.

Don’t stop me. I’m on a roll.

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