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Home 2011 Archives for May 2011

Archives for May 2011

Hooked

Posted on May 25, 2011 Written by The Nittany Turkey

America is once again in the throes of a high-profile criminal trial with its attendant media circus. This one is taking place right in the Turkey’s backyard: Orlando, Florida. We here in Central Florida have been trying the case unofficially since the news of the missing child first broke almost three years ago. However, now we will have an OJ-esque month of testimony to review to either corroborate or refute the theories we developed in our informal deliberations, and a jury decision to decide the case once and for all (pending appeals, of course).

I admit that I am hooked. I will try to keep my verbal gobbling about the trial to a minimum out of respect for the people around me who are sick and tired of the mediafest already. However, I will occasionally bombard readers of this meager blog with my opinions concerning the event. Your Turkey figures that you know how to navigate elsewhere when you’ve had enough!

For those of you outside the area, a two year-old child, Caylee Anthony, “disappeared” almost three years ago. The mother, Casey Anthony, a 22 year-old single woman at the time, waited thirty days from the time the child vanished to report her missing. This immediately cast suspicions upon the mother, who contrived a story about a mythical babysitter being the last person to have seen young Caylee. Around this time, Casey was also convicted of forgery, having stolen a friend’s checkbook and cashed one of her checks. Casey has been in jail ever since; she was formally indicted for the premeditated murder of her daughter while in the slammer.

One problem early in the progression of events is that no body had been found; however, eventually, decomposed remains positively identified as the missing child turned up in a wooded area down the street from the Anthony home, where Casey lived with her mother, Cindy, and her father, George. The discovery was made by a meter reader who ostensibly had entered the woods to urinate. Some of the circumstances of the discovery have been questioned repeatedly. At one point, defense counsel charged that the body had been planted there by the meter reader.

One of the reasons that this is such a high profile trial is that the range of punishments available to the court for this first degree murder charge includes the death penalty, which is bound to attract activists on both sides of the capital punishment debate. Another, which I mentioned before, is the large number of people who have already tried and convicted Casey in their minds, who now seek vindication by a formal verdict consistent with that of their mental kangaroo court. I did an informal, non-scientific Facebook poll asking if Casey did it. There were four possible responses: Yes (about 60%), No (0%), I’ll let the jury decide (30%), and I don’t give a rat’s ass (10%). The significant thing to note from my little study is that nobody feels passionately that Casey is innocent.

The jury was selected in Clearwater, on the Gulf Coast, in the hopes that prospective jurors would be less biased from the daily infusions of information and misinformation about the case against Casey. The pool of jurors was eventually pared down and the trial began in the Orange County Courthouse in Orlando yesterday.

The prosecution’s opening statements consisted of a timeline of events between the disappearance of Caylee and the present. It was well laid out but delivered in a flat, non-charismatic manner. The facts as represented by the prosecution are consistent with the opinions of many of the kibitzers who have decided the case from the peanut gallery, so there were no great surprises there.

The surprises came after lunch with lead defense counsel José Baez laying out his version of the story. He impugned the prosecution’s conclusions by stating an entirely new theory. Caylee was never missing. Instead, she drowned in an unattended above-ground pool in the Anthonys’ back yard. Meanwhile, Casey had been a victim of sexual abuse by both her father, George, and her older brother. This created a climate of denial and lying for poor Casey, whose own lying could now be quite well understood. Baez was graphically specific about one of the sex acts George allegedly repeatedly performed on Casey, burning into the jurors’ minds an indelible image of Casey giving oral sex to her father as a teenager as she readied herself for school in the morning. No one heretofore had mentioned anything about an abusive family relationship, so Baez was either grandstanding with an invented dysfunctional family story concocted with the intent of  instilling reasonable doubt in the jurors, or he and his team are brilliant researchers. My personal suspicion is the former.

After Baez concluded his surprising opening, the prosecution called its first witness, George Anthony. Utilizing its plodding, methodical style, the prosecution team bored us by walking through George’s life, from his 20s until now, and then asking about the details of Caylee’s disappearance and related events. Ho hum. Are we going to have to put up with these anal retentive questioning sessions for the rest of the trial? And why do lawyers insist on starting every new question with “Now…”? I’ve noticed this during my stints on jury duty. You never see that on TV lawyer shows, where actors know how to deliver lines. “Now, back in 2008, you and your wife, Cindy, separated at some point?” But I digress.

Baez’s cross-examination (also replete with questions starting with “Now…”) was surprisingly dull, if not incompetent. He did not even pursue the whole area of sexual abuse. This leads me to believe that it might be a crock out of left field, which he hoped would generate doubt in jurors’ minds. Baez’s questioning was interrupted by prosecution objections far too many times, most of which were sustained by Judge Belvin Perry. Several lengthy sidebars caused the jury to yawn and fidget. They were clearly getting bored as this crap wore on late in the afternoon. Finally, Perry was asked by one of the attorneys, “May we approach?” A flat-out “No!” was the response. Perry also admonished Baez at least twice to allow Anthony to completely answer the question before interrupting him with another question. I can foresee the judge getting quite testy with this cast of characters as the trial progresses.

It appears to this Turkey that Baez is trying to pound some things into jurors’ heads which he spins as damning toward George, but which are not improper. At one point, Baez attempted to paint Anthony in a bad light by dwelling on the notion that he had contacted his attorney and discussed the matter with him before taking the witness stand. This is perfectly legal, as Judge Perry stated, reading the law verbatim to the jury so they would not hold the attorney discussion against George. The fact that the attorney in question was also an old friend of Anthony’s was brought out by the prosecution later, during re-direct examination.

Courtroom junkies such as I have much to look forward to in forthcoming testimony. The issue of the dead body smell in Casey’s car is sure to be explored literally ad nauseam. Mr. Krunk, the meter reader who discovered the body, is sure to be impeached by Baez. There will undoubtedly be testimony by Orange-Osceola County Medical Examiner Jan Garavaglia, the famous “Dr. G” of television. The computer searches found on the Anthonys’ computer for terms such as “choroform”, “shovel”, “household weapons”, and “neck-breaking” surely will be beaten to death (no pun intended).

Hell, I have jury duty next week, so I can get into the groove this week. No way will I get anything as potentially interesting and yet at the same time as potentially boring as the Casey Anthony trial. But I don’t want to spend a month on the jury, anyway.

For those of you outside of Central Florida who crave coverage of the trial, there are several options. HLN (Head Line News) is covering the event live; however, the commercial breaks are frequent and annoying. Each of the network TV stations in Orlando is doing a streaming, live, commercial-free feed on its web site. These are WESH, WKMG, WFTV, and WOFL.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer and I don’t even play one on TV. If you’re looking for a blog where you can get astute legal analysis, you’re in the wrong place. What you’ll get here is my opinion, which has no bearing on anything except my amusement and perhaps, yours.

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Filed Under: Casey Anthony Tagged With: Casey Anthony, criminal law, law, murder trial

Friend List Maintenance

Posted on May 22, 2011 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Ahhhh, Facebook. Such a waste of time, yet so useful at times for contacting old friends, some of whom are actually still interested in talking with me. But on social networks the only operative definition of “friend” has nothing to do with longevity, devotion, trust, or any other traditional friendship determinant. “Friends” on a social network are simply the collection of other users who appears on your friends list at any given instant.

Being “friends” on Facebook opens up the door for two-way communication, which has many uses other than the traditional friendly, two-way chats with which we are all familiar. The most obnoxious communication by Facebook friends is the plethora of requests for various types of game crap, such as a new pig for their Farmville farm, a new ho for their Cyber Pimp stable, or whatever. Over time, I’ve collected “friends” who never communicate about anything else, not even a “How’s the weather down there?” These are hard-core game addicts who could have friends lists full of real friends if they didn’t devote so much damn time to harassing people about what they need for their silly games. These are people who piss me off.

Facebook provides a mechanism for ignoring “friends” who post things, and there is also a mechanism for eliminating postings from any particular application. Many of these game requests originate while the “friend” is accessing the game application, so it is easy to ignore them by ignoring all posts from the application. However, some “friends” also make such requests while being logged onto Facebook. ???? ?????? ???? ?????? If you ignore them completely, you risk missing something meaningful. A small risk, but one I find it difficult to take with real friends. So I give them the benefit of the doubt.

If, after six months or so of “friendship”, all I get is game requests, the soon to be ex-friends go into my “In Limbo” friends list, where I have dialed up security to the point where they can do next to nothing. There, they wait until I do my next friends list purge and dump them completely.

I did the purge yesterday and then realized that there was one more group of users who get on my nerves: those who post recycled “theme” statuses and then tell me I’m a dick if I don’t re-post it as my status for a while. You know the kind: “If you know someone who died of cancer, you must post this as your status…” or “I’m posting this to let you know that you’re all my friends and if you feel that way too post this as your status…” or “I think Facebook should have a ‘dislike’ button; if you agree, put this as your status…” or, more perniciously, “A little girl was abducted on highway 9 in Smallville…” Don’t tell me what to “put” as my status, people, especially since you — or whoever concocted the stupid status message 23 generations ago — can’t spell or form a proper sentence. Don’t tell me about the same little girl being abducted who was first “abducted” in an Internet e-mail chain letter 12 years ago. These stupid things are bandwidth wasters fully equivalent to stupid chain letters in which one is exhorted to re-send the letter to 20 friends. Idiots still pass them along, even though they’ve been debunked in snopes.com for years and years.

So, what to do with these folks? They don’t seem to get the message yet. Yesterday, I posted the following as my status:

I trimmed my friend list to get rid of those whose idea of friendship was nothing more than asking for crap for Farmville, etc., but I forgot about those who ask to repost their stupid, warmed over status message about true friendship, who hates cancer more, etc. So, please don’t “put this” as your status for even one fershtunkenah hour, or I’m guaranteeing that you’ll be next!

(Fershtunkenah is Yiddish for “steenking”.)

In other words, don’t waste my time or my wall with this crap. Annoy your other “friends” with it. It does absolutely nothing for nobody except bolster the ego of the originator who one day will be so thrilled to see his or her dumbass status coming through the viral network. Get a life! If you want to do something for a charity, give your time or your money. Posting statuses isn’t going to make cancer go away any more than honking if you love Jesus is going to make this a better world.

I checked my friend count after I posted the facetious status above and found that it had quickly dropped by one. That was hilarious. I didn’t even have to initiate the excision. Whoever it was became insulted and decided he or she had no use for me. ????? ??????? Thank you! Great concept — the subliminal, passive-aggressive “get yo ass off my friends list” message, which pares down friend list maintenance time for you even while you sleep.

******

This reminded me of way back when I was working in the Operations Analysis department of a  Fortune 500 company in New York. In rough times, we were the ones who had to determine who would get laid off and, in some cases, be the bearer of bad tidings. This was very unpleasant for us, let alone the poor employees. During one stressful period, one of my colleagues suggested that if on Monday each week we hung up pictures in our floor’s elevator foyer of employees who were going to be given their notice on Friday, after a few weeks people would get the message when they saw their picture on Monday and, consequently, we would not have to deal with them on Friday. They could go straight to Personnel (which is the real name for what is now called “human resources”) to deal with severance issues. ???? ???? ??????? ???? Needless to say, this idea was never implemented.

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Filed Under: General Tagged With: defriending, Facebook, friend, social networking

My Civic Duty

Posted on May 22, 2011 Written by The Nittany Turkey

It’s that time again, the time to join 11 other angry men and women to serve my fellow citizens by sitting in judgment of one of them as their peer on a jury. Jury duty is a wonderful and sacrosanct tradition in which I gladly participate, completely devoid of the “how am I going to get out of this” deviousness that afflicts many so-called good citizens. I truly look forward to the experience, even though my most recent service has been largely on mundane county court panels that, in my opinion, have been a waste of time and money. Of course, the U.S. Constitution guarantees that we’ll do it, so we do, gladly and without regard to what it costs the public.

One of my county court cases involved a concrete finisher who had accused his girlfriend, a Hooter’s waitress, of assault and battery. The guy was about twice her size and had a previous felony on his record, as well as several misdemeanors. My comrades and I were treated to a re-enactment of the alleged crime at the behest of the respective attorneys, which was quite an entertaining show. Then, upon hearing summations and being given our instructions, we retired to our stark, uncomfortable jury room. We wise folks on the jury deliberated far too long, getting hung up on the legal definition of self-defense. So, we told the bailiff to have the judge assemble the players for us so we could ask him for the official definition, which he read to us. That did no good. We were hopelessly deadlocked. This stupid case would cost the county even more money, as the judge would declare a mistrial due to a hung jury.

The next county court case was an even greater waste of time and money. Some low-life punk stole a 12-pack of Heineken’s from the local Albertson’s. Such a clever scheme. Two guys came to the checkout aisle. One acted like he would pay, then the other took the beer to throw it in the back of the pickup truck while the other guy stalled the cashier by saying he thought the other guy paid. Meanwhile, the store’s general manager was accosting the beer guy in the parking lot as he tried to make his getaway. We heard testimony from the beer redneck and the store manager and retired for what I thought would be a pretty quick ipso facto guilty verdict. I was wrong. One woman didn’t want to send the poor boy to jail, believing that there was reasonable doubt that he committed the crime. I, who by the way was foreman, thought that she was considering the severity (or lack of same) of the crime as compared to the harsh punishment of 30 days in the slammer, or whatever the punishment would be. That was not up to the jury to decide. Ours was a simple matter of guilty or not guilty. It took us lots of cajoling to get her to understand that, maybe two hours’ worth. Finally, she caved. I hope the guy enjoyed the beer he stole.

Next, I thought I would finally get an interesting case, as I was called to serve on a circuit court panel. As it turned out, my number was drawn for a selection pool for a sexual battery case, which would involve far more testimony and intricate legal maneuvers than my previous two cases combined. The judge explained how voir dire works. The lawyers would question us either as a group or individually and use their challenges, either peremptory or for cause, to weed us out until they agreed on a satisfactory jury. They asked us a lot of questions about whether it was right for a man to hit a woman. One prospective juror said that it went against his religion and under no circumstances would it be acceptable. He ultimately got the ax. My response was that it was not pleasant to consider, but I could envision circumstances under which there would be sufficient justification to do it. (I didn’t tell them what I was thinking — when they pull some obscure shit out from five years ago that you’ve damn well forgotten about and hit you right between the eyes with it if it serves to support their flimsy argument, albeit out of context. But I digress.) That answer kept me in the game. Ultimately, though, I would perish, for whatever reasons the lawyers thought I was unsuitable. Perhaps the prosecutor thought that I was an old pervert who would side too much with the defendant. Who knows? I stayed in the courtroom as instructed, in case I was selected as an alternate. I observed that of the two students in the pool from our county’s community college, the dizzy blonde was selected but the serious young man who said that he liked to read the classical philosophers in his spare time was excused. That told me something about what they were looking for. At the end of the day, I was free to go, but it had been an interesting day of observing the legal process, a good day that I did not consider a waste of time, for a change.

Fast forward to now. Again, this time, the day after the Memorial Day weekend, it will be circuit court, so the potential exists that if I make the cut, the case will be interesting. At last year’s Springs Concert, an annual event in the recreation area in my community, a circuit court judge up for re-election was making the rounds glad-handing the electorate. I told him that I hoped the next time around I would get something more interesting than the concrete finisher or the beer redneck. He told me that all his trials were interesting and if I got on a jury in his courtroom, I would not be disappointed. Oh, sure, he was trying to suck a vote out of me, but on a different plane, I want to believe him.

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Filed Under: General Tagged With: circuit court, Florida, jury duty, Seminole County

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The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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