The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for 2017

Archives for 2017

Ode to the Hawkeyes

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HawkeyesPenn State’s Big Ten opener will happen on Saturday in prime time, and this will be the first time we’ll be able to learn anything about the 2017 team. The dubiously #4 ranked  Nittany Lions (3-0 – all cupcakes) must bring their A-game to Iowa City, where they take on the as yet unranked Iowa Hawkeyes (3-0 – all slightly better cupcakes).

Let’s get a few increasingly irrelevant facts out of the way before we look at this thing footballistically. The Hawkeyes have won four straight night games at Kinnick Stadium, and they’ve won five straight Big Ten openers. (Although a good omen is that the last opening conference loss was to Dear Olde State in 2011.) Four of the five opening wins were on enemy turf. This will be Iowa’s first home conference schedule kickoff since 2012. [Read more…]

Increasingly Irrelevant Cupcakes Dispatched!

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OK, so the #4 Nittany Lions (3-0, 0-0 Big Ten) beat the #130 Georgia State Panthers (0-2, 0-0 Sun Belt) 56-0. Big deal! What does it prove?

I’ll tell you what. If they can’t fix that time of possession imbalance, they’re going to absolutely suck in the Big Ten.

I couldn’t believe the crap I saw written by Matt Herb in BWI:

“To anyone looking for evidence that time-of-possession is becoming an increasingly irrelevant statistic, consider this: Georgia State held the ball for just under 39 minutes but was still outscored by eight touchdowns.”

You know what? James Franklin said it, so it must be true? Jesus H. Christ! [Read more…]

Them Other Panthers

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Georgia State PanthersBefore the season began when I was viewing my calendar to see which game would fall on September 16, which is Artificially Sweetened’s granddaughter’s birthday, I saw the entry “Panthers vs. Nittany Lions.” Awwww, hell, I thought. I’ll have to miss the party due to the Pitt game. ??? ???? ????? Well, it turned out to be the Georgia State Panthers, as you know, and the party was cancelled anyway due to Hurricane Irma. ???? ???? ??????? ??? ????? That “Panthers” thing had me royally confused.

The Georgia State Panthers (0-1, 0-0 Sun Belt) meet the mighty #5 Nittany Lions (2-0, 0-0 Big Ten) in a prime-time showdown at St. Joe Memorial Stadium on Saturday. Expected weather is late summer in Central Pennsylvania: 80°, partly cloudy, and humid. [Read more…]