The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for 2018

Archives for 2018

In Like a Lion; Out Like a Pussy(cat)

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#12 Nittany Lions Host Maryland Terps

University of Maryland Terrapins

The Maryland Terrapins (5-6, 3-5) invade St. Joe Memorial Stadium at Beaver Field to put an end to the regular season for the #12 Penn State Nittany Lions (8-3, 5-3).

How the hell did the Playoff Committee ever decide to make them #12 after watching that crappy Rutgers game? The only answer to that question is they didn’t watch the Rutgers game. I think they’re giving way too much credit to Big Ten strength of schedule.

Anyhow, Maryland is playing for bowl eligibility, while Penn State is playing for the makers of Red Bull — bull eligibility (and you can take that any way you want).

Recapping the Penn State Season

The last game of a season that came in like a Lion and appears to be going out like a pussy is upon us — “Mercifully!” some of us might say. Alas, it has been a year of changing fortunes and hefty mood swings. Before the Appalachian State game,  some of us thought this team could run the table. Based on what? Just homey-ass spirit, it seems. The team had lost its best players on offense to the NFL and graduated its best defenders. The homeys (aka The Sanguinarians) just thought those gaps would be filled automagically, in what was characterized as either a “rebuilding” or “reloading” year — and I declared bullshit.

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I Fell Asleep

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Penn State 20, Rutgers 7

I literally did fall asleep during this epic snoozer, but I’m glad I woke up in time to see the Ohio State-Maryland game — in which Maryland’s performance doesn’t portend well for the Nittany Lions’ next weekend.

Noon Start Syndrome in Full Swing

Trace McSorley wasn’t playing with a full deck. Why was he playing in the first place? Backup QB Tommy Stevens was seen for nary a rep.

Oh, you say because McSorley became Penn State’s winningest QB with this win. But with two more games ahead counting the bowl game, he didn’t have to play this one. He’ll have to play on Senior Day next weekend and, of course, he’ll want to play the bowl game, his last game in the blue and white. Not only did he start this game, but also he played every snap.

It was just a shame that the team didn’t show up to play.

I don’t have a lot to say about this game. It was bad. Bad. Soporific NOON KICKOFF AWAY GAME shit. Rutgers won the IITOP battle, 32:18 to 27:42.

#14 Penn State (8-3, 5-3) got a needed win over hapless Rutgers (1-10, 0-8). That’s all I know. [Read more…]

Bye Week

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#14 Penn State Nittany Lions vs. Rutgers Scarlet Knights

RutgersThe Rutgers Scarlet Knights (1-9, 0-7) host the #14 Penn State Nittany Lions (7-3, 4-3) in a battle for Big Ten respectability for the home team. Will the Knights win their first conference game and gain respect? No.

I know, I know… Describing this game as a bye week will become locker room wall fodder for the Scarlet Knights… propelling them to great heights of mediocrity — and they’ll still lose. ???? ???? ??? So don’t give me crapola about jinxes. The only way Rutgers can win this thing is if Penn State completely fails to show up. Will that happen? No.

This is a NOON KICKOFF and PSU always plays crappy in nooners until they wake up. Last week they gave up an 80-yard TD run to Jonathan Taylor before they smelled the coffee. As Urban Meyer once said of his Ohio State team in noon starts, “they come out with that dullard look…” Will that soporific “dullard look” help Rutgers? No.

So, does Rutgers have a chance? No. [Read more…]