Penn State 27, Piscataway Junior High 6
One team had only their pride to play for; the other thought they could mail it in. And so, it went as I had expected: slow, sloppy, and less than entertaining, with the ultimate outcome never in doubt. Journey Brown managed to score three touchdowns to beat the invading Scarlet Knights, but the Nittany Lions, who were soundly stat-slapped, fell way short of covering a 40-point spread.
If Mike McQueary bet on this game, I hope he took the points. If he was on Penn State, it would have taken more than a misguided “explosive” pass play in garbage time to pull it out.
What the hell is it with this “explosive” bullshit? From time to time, some asshole will come up with a vogue word in the wonderful world of sports jargon, and all the trite-ass vocalizers feel obliged to glom onto it. James Franklin is a frequent offender. After the game, he commented, “We weren’t as explosive as we needed to be and probably gave up too many explosive plays.” Translation: “We slept through the first half, our offense sucked big time, and our defense failed to show up until sometime in the third quarter.”
Was the offensive line bad, or what?
For a while, I thought the Nittany Lions would implode rather than explode. It was embarrassing, sitting there with extended family in Chicago, with everyone expecting an explosive rout but getting a limp dick performance.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Sean Clifford wasn’t in there and Justin Shorter entered the ridiculous transfer portal. But WTF? It was Senior Day. A win is a win, but don’t embarrass my explosive ass, ok?
Bowl Lunacy
Now, let’s talk about the frigging Rose Bowl. So Wisconsin beat Minnesota. Now all the explosive pundits and the Sanguinarians are expecting a Rose Bowl bid for the Staties. Let me tell you something. After playing a junior high team the way they did, and given the way their performances been trending, a bowl game against the likes of Oregon isn’t something I’m anxious to watch. The speculation is premature, anyway, until we see whether Wisconsin can beat tOSU, who ain’t invincible. Stranger things have happened.
So, I dunno. After watching tOSU kick the crap out of Michigan, our game was a letdown. By the second half, everybody had left the living room to eat pizza, leaving me alone there feeling obligated to watch my team to the bitter end.
It will be interesting to see how the CFP yoyos rank the survivors of the weekend. LSU and Clemson “made a statement” (another stupid sports cliche), as did tOSU. Georgia took care of business. Alabama lost to Auburn, as happens pretty frequently, spoiling their chances while Nick Saban whined. Utah will probably be percussively sublimated to #5. The next five don’t matter, but I would expect Oklahoma, Baylor, Wisconsin, Florida, and Penn State, and Alabama to be in the mix. Let me make a statement: Maybe PSU deserves to drop from #10 after today’s half-assed effort and to make room for Alabama, who would beat the Lions to a pulp if they met.
So, what did you think of Penn State’s final game of the season?
I’ll be back when our bowl opponent is known, unless there is something explosive to bitch about.
