Archives for November 2022

Tesla Merritt Island Windshield Repair

Posted on November 19, 2022 Written by The Nittany Turkey

From Simple to FUBAR and Back

In the aftermath of Hurricane Ian, my Model Y windshield caught a wayward object on I-4 on October 10, creating a crack. So, I scheduled replacement with Tesla Service Center in Eatonville, about five miles from my home. The earliest appointment they could give me was November 10, so I scheduled Merritt Island (about 65 miles from home) on October 28. (We had travel plans in November, so this would be more convenient). I contacted my insurance company to give them the details. They, in turn, gave me a number for Tesla to call where they could receive a guarantee of payment for service related to my claim.

A couple days before October 28, Merritt Island informed me that their glass guy wouldn’t be there on my service date, so they were rescheduling me to November 9. My wife and I had scheduled a drive to Chicago starting November 8, so I told the Service Center November 9 wouldn’t work. They then accommodated me by forcing me into the schedule on October 31. So far, so good.

Repair Day #1

My wife and I showed up on October 31 in separate cars. While the windshield and seat covers were ostensibly being replaced, we enjoyed a day on the coast. At around 3:30, I got the notification that the repair was complete, and I could pay the $1200 through the app, which I did. I should note that Tesla does not accept insurance assignments, so you must pay and get an insurance reimbursement separately.

Moving right along, we get back there, wifey drops me off, I go to my car, and — SAME DAMN CRACKED WINDSHIELD. I went to the service desk who must have thought I was crazy — a guy ranting about a completed repair saying he wanted a refund because it wasn’t completed. I took them to the car and showed them so they could see it with their own two eyes. To make matters worse, I also noticed that the seat cover cooling system I had requested was not installed correctly.

What the Hell Happened?

Turns out that the glass guy broke the replacement windshield and told “someone” but “someone” did not communicate this to service. What? How the hell does THAT happen. So, we wasted a day on the coast. I would have to drive the damn thing to Chicago with a cracked windshield.

The service guy, Andy, asked me to give him ten minutes to make some calls. He first called the glass guy, who is a subcontractor, to find out exactly what the hell happened. Then, he called around to see if Eatonville had a Model Y windshield. They didn’t. He said he would definitely issue me a refund, for starters.

Escalation

The service guy got the general manager. To calm me down, they told me they would schedule me for the windshield repair san diego upon my return and would definitely give me a loaner or rental so I wouldn’t need to worry about transport while I was carless and my wife would not suffer another day of inconvenience due to Tesla. They even offered me a loaner for the trip to Chicago, if I wanted to leave my car with them to be fixed in my absence. The service guy said to the manager, “But loaners are not supposed to go more than 200 miles.” The general manager said essentially, “You got to do what you got to do.”

I turned down the loaner offer, fearing that I would go up to Chicago, wreck it in the snow or have it riddled with machine gun bullets, and then find myself in a position of not being covered by insurance because I took it more than 200 miles. However, I give them lots of points for trying to unscrew what they screwed up. I settled on making a new appointment for November 16, a couple days after our planned return from Chicago.

November 16 Rolls Around…

On November 15, I used the app to communicate with the Merritt Island Service Center. My purpose was to ensure that everything would go smoothly this time and that the promise of a loaner would be fulfilled. The first response I got was a canned, automated message that loaners are only committed for repairs requiring 48 hours or longer, and then, only if they are available. I responded that they had committed the loaner or rental, and if they didn’t intend to fulfill that commitment, I would not show up. The response to that came from Andy, who said “if they committed that, then they would do it, but if it was a rental, it would be gasoline powered and I must pay for gas and tolls.” I said, “It was YOU who committed the loaner or rental, so I hope you’ll stand by the commitment. A rental is OK.”

So, with that in mind, I showed up an hour early for my appointment on November 16. I checked in with the general manager, who was doing service drive check-ins. He informed me that they might not get to the repair that day because of the backlog created by Hurricane Nicole, but I shouldn’t worry because he will give me $100 in Uber credits.

Say WHAT?

“No WAY!” I said. You were there when you and Andy promised me a loaner or a rental. You even said I could take it to Chicago. I’m not leaving my car with you unless you keep your promise.” Besides, at sixty-five miles from home, $100 in Uber credits would get me about as far as the St. Johns River.

He scratched his head for a while and asked, “Would you take a demo? I have a Model 3.”

I asked what the difference was between a demo and a loaner. He said, “None.” So, I agreed to take their Model 3 demo, which had only a few miles on it. (It would be well broken in by the time I gave it back, though, albeit with no Chicago bullet holes). To his credit, the manager did all he could have done, repeatedly stating that he wanted me to make me happy. Lots of improvisation points awarded for salvaging a completely screwed-up situation.

The service promise was for completion by 4 PM on November 17. I had their car, and if they wanted it back, they better get ‘er done!

Pickup Time

I watched the app at intervals on November 17. Most of the day, the status of the service was shown as “Preparing”. Finally, around 2:30, the status bars went green, signifying completion of the repair. OMG OMG. I figured I would hop in the Model 3 demo and drive over to Merritt Island to finalize this sordid affair.

I arrived there around 3:30 and saw my car in the lot. So, I walked over to verify that the repair had been completed. It had been and looked good. The repair tech even tried to move my HOA decal from the old windshield to the new one. It was a mess, but I give him credit for trying to do a complete job. A length of black masking tape secured the passenger side of the windshield. I decided to let it be until I got home. That way, if the windshield were to fall out, it would happen in the safety of my own garage.

Assuming that the invoice would have been made ready in the hour or so it took to drive over there, I checked the app and found that it still said, “Invoice being prepared.” So I went inside to the service desk and asked for it to be finalized. I told the guy behind the desk that I had his demo, and I would give him the key when I got mine. He said, “They were asking where that demo was.” He prepared my invoice and we exchanged keys. I asked for a copy of the invoice to submit to insurance in case anything got screwed up with the app.

Minor Tweak Needed

Driving home, I noticed that when autopilot was engaged, the car would be positioned along the left side of the lane it was in. Damn! They didn’t recalibrate the cameras. So, I pulled over and initiated the recalibration myself. That was the only minor glitch.

Epilogue

Lots of aggravation for a simple repair, but I give the guys over there, particularly the manager, credit for trying to keep me happy. I’m a miserable old curmudgeon, so making me happy is an admirable, albeit nearly impossible, goal.

I also must say that Hurricane Nicole was obviously beyond their control. To complicate matters for them, when power went out due to downed electrical lines in the area, the out-of-town line crews screwed up reconnected the transformer, causing it to blow up and start an electrical fire at the Service Center. The impetus to get power restored quickly in the storm’s aftermath precluded quality control inspections and re-inspections before energizing the circuit. The out-of-town guys had made the connections the way they did it back home, which was not the way it is done here. So, what I am saying is that the Merritt Island Service Center had some significant issues that must be taken into account. However, no excuses are acceptable for the initial screw-up and lack of communication.

Nevertheless, hoping that the compound FUBAR was a unique event and based on the attempted mitigation, which turned out quite satisfactory, I will likely use this service center again.

Turkey Trot

Posted on November 16, 2022 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Back from Chicago to look at Asia and the Scarlet Farts

Rutgers’ Own Mensa Member
Asia Carrera in 2003

Avast, me hearties! I hope you didn’t miss me too much during the past week. I see that Penn State destroyed Maryland 30-0 and all is well with the world. Sanguinarians® are rejoicing in advance, as they are “pretty sure” #11 Penn State merits a New Year’s Day appearance. With only two games left against Dumber and Dumb, that’s a pretty safe bet. I’m “pretty sure.”

On Saturday at 3:30, the mighty #11 Penn State Nittany Lions (8-2, 5-2 B10) travel to inhospitable Piscataway to take on the hapless Rutgers Scarlet Fever (4-6, 1-6 B10). Coached by former PSU and Tampa Bay Buccaneers assistant Greg Schiano in his second stint at the New Jersey’s state of confusion university, the only conference win the Red Horsemen were able to pull off was against Indiana, which was their first home win against a Big Ten opponent in about a century.

So, they suck. So, that’s why Penn State must mind its Ps and Qs. You cannot let your guard down at this point. You’d fuck with the Sanguinarians’ minds! They want that New Years Day game! Yeah, like the Capital One Bowl, or whatever the Citrus Bowl is called now. BFD. Might be good to watch them get their comeuppance, but I’ll watch from the comfort of my La-Z-Boy, even though de estadium (locally favored pronunciation) is only twelve miles away.

Last Outings

Penn State must have destroyed Maryland, but I was driving through a null signal area at the time, so I can only listen to the apres-game buzz. On the other hand, I paid no attention to Rutgers losing to Moo U 27-21. I’m thinking that it would have been a gross waste of my time. Emphasis on the “gross” (although I would have been able to see our next two opponents in action — or lack of same).

The two suckage twins played that game pretty evenly. The one missed field goal hurt Rutgers but probably what hurt them the most was an ungodly number of penalties: fourteen penalties for 108 yards. That definitely threw the game to the Spartettes.

Michigan State’s defense was impressive, in that they had three sacks, seven hurries, and six tackles for loss. Nevertheless, Scarlet Knight’s sophomore quarterback Gavin Wimsatt was able to complete 20 of 34 passes for 236 yards and two touchdowns, with no interceptions. So the vaunted Penn State secondary (minus Joey Porter, Jr., who had appendicitis) needs to stay on point, as Manny Diaz’s pressure alone might not be enough. On the other hand…

…there are five fingers.

Da Wedda

Da weddaperson (don’t know which pronoun to use here) says that Saturday in Joisey will be a chilly day with a high of 42 and a low of 23. Some reasonably puffy winds of 10-15 mph will make it feel colder. Only the tiniest percentage possibility of rain, freezing rain, sleet, snow, or any of that northern winter shit is forecast.

Da Bottom Lyin’

Yeah, we’re lyin’ here because I am too lazy to “break down” this game. I’ll give you “break down” already, I’ll give you. All those pseudo-experts on the Internet like to “break down” games. They spend lots of time “breaking down” shit, and they’re just as wrong as this Turkey is. Yeah, I’m a Nittany Lyin’. A Lyin’ Nittany Turkey. Or some such.

Anyway, I digress.

It is time for the Fearless, Feckless, Fablungetta Official Turkey Poop Prognostication, which this foul old fowl pulls straight out of his/her/sheeit/their cloaca.

The spread on this is way the hell out of whack and the money line imbalance is almost two to one. So, hey, the only sport is seeing how Penn State doesn’t cover the spread. What’s the spread? Funny you should ask. It has nothing to do with Rutgers alumna Asia Carrera, pictured above. Alarmingly funny, it is nineteen. What’s the over/under? Equally funny, 45. “FORTY FIVE!” you exclaim? Why …. why … why … um Penn State can score that many in one frickin’ quarter on these clowns! Nonetheless, what would that work out to? Vell, I’ll tellya. that’s about 32-13. Penn State has scored an average of 34 points per game. WooHoo….”explosive” plays! Rutgers has allowed almost 26. No home crowd for this game, so I’m going with Penn State 41, Rutgers 10. Yay, they cover! Take the over.

I’ll be back after the game for some more bullshit, if you can take it!

Elsewhere…

Posted on November 6, 2022 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Penn State 45, Indiana 14

What’s this, a 1980s TV show revival? St. Elsewhere?

No, it ain’t. It’s just that our game paled in comparison to what was going on elsewhere in Division I-A, which is what the FCS was traditionally called until money and playoff bullshit changed all that, but I digress.

OK, I’ll Get It Out of the Way

Sanguinarians® believe that this is how all the Penn State games should wind up. We’re just that much better than everyone else, they think. Well, that’s bullshit. Penn State just proved that it is better than Indiana, who suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. So, I won’t bore you with endless stats. They’re meaningless. This will probably end up being the most lopsided game of the year. Even Ohio U. managed to get 16 first downs. Indiana had only 11.

We saw three Hoosier quarterbacks. After knocking veteran Jack Tuttle senseless, freshman Brendan Sorsby came in and sucked, so he yielded his position to Dexter Williams II, a sophomore from Macon, Georgia, who showed some impressive mobility but threw two interceptions. One of them was on a tipped ball, but the other was sheer stupidity, throwing a long ball in the midst of the hungry, vaunted, fanboy-loved Penn State secondary.

Fanboys Get More of Allar

Meanwhile, Sean Clifford played his usual game, 15-23 for 229 yards and an interception. He badly overthrew a couple of open receivers. The wind had died down by that time, so no excuses. Then, in the third stanza as I requested, Drew Allar came in with the Nittany Lions up 24-7 and with the game looking like it was totally won, already. Allar went 9-12 for 75 yards and two touchdowns, even scampering (if that’s what you call it when a giant QB lumbers forward) for a 10-yard gain.

It was a safe situation for Allar, as Indiana’s defense was completely ineffectual, recording only one sack and no hurries. Of course, they were lacking their stud linebacker, but they flat-out sucked, so Allar was never in danger of being mowed down.

Penn State’s ground game was present, ringing up 179 yards most of which were from the combined efforts of Kaytron Allen and Nick Singleton.

The PSU defense set a single-game record with sixteen tackles for loss. It was Guardiana (well, damnit, they renamed the Cleveland Indians so Indiana should be renamed, too) they were playing against, though. Remember that when you’re tempted to get cocky all of a sudden. I guess you can cling to the hope that they’re good enough to beat a potential postseason opponent like Tennessee or Oregon.

Lest the Sanguinarians get their hopes up, this was Nativeamericaniana, whose only conference win was the opener against Illinois (who showed their true colors today losing to Moo U.).

The Rest of the Story…

#1 Tennessee proved to be pretenders, as they were summarily dispatched by the Bulldogs of Athens 27-13. #4 Clemson was snockered by the unranked Fighting Irish, 35-14. (Let that be a lesson to Dabo & Company — start to get too vain and God will send you a message). The Questionably #2 Schmuckeyes had lots of trouble with a plucky, defense minded bunch of soggy Wildcats, who keep the game within a touchdown for most of the game. #5 Michigan had a strange game with Rutgers, who led at the half 17-14, but wound up losing 52-17.

The biggest and best game of the day was the slugfest between #6 Alabama and #10 LSU, won by LSU in overtime on a ballsy call by head coach Brian Kelly. With the game tied at 24 in overtime, the Crimson Tide scored first, running it in after a pass interference call in the end zone put the ball on the 1 yard-line. The successful extra point try put ‘Bama up 31-24. The Bengal Tigers of LSU came back and scored a touchdown. Kelly left the offense out there to go for 2. Quarterback Jayden Daniels threw a perfect strike to streaking tight end Mason Taylor for a successful two-point conversion. LSU upset Alabama 32-31. Both teams are now 7-2 contenders for the SEC West, along with Ole Miss, who won today and are 8-1.

What It Is?

In the words of the late Dick Enberg, “Oh, Myyyyy!” What will the Top Ten look like when the CFP meets on Tuesday? We’ll get the AP poll tomorrow. Georgia is likely to be #1. But who will be #2? Ohio State did not look all that good today. Neither did Michigan, until the fourth quarter. Is this going to be a “Who wants it?” kind of week? LSU will move up, and Clemson and Bama will move down. Round and round she goes and where she stops, nobody knows.

Taking a Week Off

I’ll be out of town most of the forthcoming week, so I might not provide you with my game notes for the Maryland game. Or I might. Depends on what I’m doing and when. Unfortunately (or fortunately, as the case may be), I won’t be able to watch the big showdown with the land turtles.

Changing the Clocks

Remember to fall forward — it’s much easier if you can see what you’re going to hit while you’re on your way down. Artificially Sweetened and I had a conversation that revealed that by Wednesday, we won’t know whether we’re coming or going. We have the disorienting time change tonight followed by Tuesday’s trip to a different time zone. Oy vey!

Whither the Whoosiers?

After this debacle, head coach Tom Allen must search for answers. That’s a meaningless, bullshit sports cliché. Hell, after today, he won’t even know the questions, let alone the answers. Flailing around trying to find some redemption, Allen already fired his offensive line coach and tried different quarterbacks. He might just need to conclude that the team suuuuuuuuuucks. Or he can take heart in misery loving company, albeit displaced by about 45 years, via this quote from my favorite quotable former NFL coach, John McKay, who when asked if he could find anything redeeming in that week’s loss by the hapless Tampa Bay Buccaneers to the Green Bay Packers, responded, “Yes, I can. The parking lot will be a whole lot easier to get into and out of for next week’s Detroit game.”

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Tesla Merritt Island Windshield Repair

From Simple to FUBAR and Back