The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for The Mouse Who Ate Xanax

Let’s See What Happens

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OK, with Ohio gone I’m ready to concede the presidency to Senator Barack Obama. I offer well earned congratulations to those of you who worked so hard to get your candidate elected. Now, it is my hope that reason and sense will prevail among his advisers and him, and even with the specter of a Democratic majority in both houses of congress, Obama will avoid the temptation to oppress the country with a loony left liberal agenda. This goes against common wisdom, since as a senator, he really never reached across the aisle. However, as President, he better know that a plethora of liberal legislation would put a stranglehold on growth.

The prospect of a shit-pile of liberal legislation passing is daunting. How about a $10 minimum wage? Let’s have abortions for all! Tax, spend, and redistribute! Shut down conservative talk radio. Allow unions to strongarm their way into every business. Oh, and keep the teachers’ unions strong so the dastardly erosion of our public education system can continue.Tax corporations so heavily that they run for cover overseas. Penalize success. Reward indolence. Further the erosion of individual responsibility. Appoint activist judges with “empathy” instead of those who will try cases fairly and let them legislate from the bench. Pull out of Iraq before our goals are attained. Give everybody including illegal aliens health care so we have to further ration the already scarce services. The litany of potential liberal legislation goes on and on. Congressional liberals will want to expand their base by buying votes with all this legislation and more at the expense of the good of the country as a whole.

Will good sense prevail or will the spending floodgates be opened? At this point I don’t know if there’ll be a super-majority in the senate, but thank God it looks increasingly like there won’t be. Regardless, Obama’s role must absolutely be that of a moderating influence on an out of control Congress led by radical lefties Reid and Pelosi. Lord help us if they can ramrod their legislation unabated! One big problem I had with Bush is that he failed to wield the veto pen to stop the proliferation of profligate spending bills that crossed his desk. Obama needs to do better. He cannot allow Congress to spend our way to bankruptcy.

Problem is, we don’t know enough about Obama to predict whether he’ll be a moderator, a uniter, or a divider. We can only hope. He pretty much has a mandate here to do as he wants. Will he govern the country for all of us or just those who think he’s the Chosen One? No one knows what “Change” means now, but in a few months, we’ll begin to find out.

I am hopeful that we can avert a descent to the socialistic morass. I think a lot of far lefties will be disappointed. Meanwhile, the Republican Party must take this loss seriously—as it apparently didn’t in 2006—and reorient itself to being the party of small government and strong values. A makeover is a dire need, right here, right now.

Earlier, I wrote some comments to a reader that bear repeating here. So, here they are.

We’ve always survived cyclical socialism in the past; however, each time we leave a socialist phase, some vestigial programs remain behind. Through several generations’ increasing expectations, we as a society have come to rely more and more on handouts, as perceptions evolve from necessary evil to everyman’s entitlement. Everybody increasingly has the hand out and expects something for nothing. When that becomes the central theme of a society, it will ultimately collapse under the weight of decreased productivity, stagnant economy, and the already overfed public clamoring for mo’ money. The fragmentation inherent in this societal entropy sows the seeds for demagoguery and dictatorship.

I’ll do my part to restore my party’s greatness after the damage done by Rove, Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfield. We need to get back to being the mainstream party of the people, which is our rightful, historical position. If we can heal this society and make it strong again after Obama’s four years (assuming there are no major surprises tonight), we can get rid of the splinter groups that have screwed the party by their association with it.

If we lose big time, it should be a lesson. Of course, Category One voters are idiots and tend to vote against something more than for it. By the time four years of realization that socialism is oppressive has sunk in, I hope the lemmings turn away from the cliff and come back to Papa.

So, let us look forward to January 20, 2009 as a testimonial to the greatness of this country as exemplified by the peaceful transfer of power from one party to another and let us hope that those to whom the spoils of victory go remember what made this country great and how we got here. It didn’t happen by rampant pandering to a bunch of Category Ones. No, let’s unite this country with good, solid, moderate leadership that does more than just paying lip service to reaching across the aisle. Do you think Obama & Co. are up to it?

I hope the Obama Administration does not turn out to be another Jimmy Carter earn-while-you-learn program. History has been made tonight. Let that remain untarnished. President Obama will be my president as well as yours.

Let’s all breathe a sigh of relief that the campaign ads are over and we can get back to watching less annoying commercials for Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra and real news about Casey Anthony’s illicit attorney hugs. I wish you all brief and painless post-election hangovers.

The Mouse will return from time to time with comments from his soon-to-be opposition sofa, unless the congress shuts him down with the Fairness Doctrine.

Don’t Vote for the Con Man

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Barack Obama is a smooth talking, slow walking con man. He’s raised lots of money, which he’s used to deliver a mind numbing mantra that has sucked in a lot of marks. If you’re one of them and you haven’t yet voted, this Mouse suggests that you reconsider. If your vote has already been bought and paid for and your mind is closed, well, stop reading right now. You’re dead meat. Furthermore, if you’re one of those people who simply won’t read anything that doesn’t agree with your own narrow opinion, you can also stop reading. I’m just presenting my views here.

The public, weary from eight years of Bush, is ripe for a con job. That’s what you’re getting from Obama and you’re not going to like the results. You know it in your heart of hearts. Obamamania is merely a symptom of Anti-Bush Syndrome. However, is electing this smooth talking, panacea promising neophyte just for retribution not something that can and will backfire right in your vindictive faces?

I hear intelligent people defending Obama with non-sequiturs. Why? Because they cannot defend him with facts. Here’s an example of such an exchange:

A. Friend: I’m tired of defending Obama against charges of socialism when Bush has given $700 billion to the wealthy.

Me: What does what Bush did have to do with what Obama is?

A. Friend: [Alludes to my response being racist.]

Cool. When you speak nonsense and someone questions it, merely accuse them of racism to close the conversation. A time honored tactic of the bleeding heart leftaroos. I meant that Obama, by virtue of his voting and past performance, is a socialist, and that whatever Bush might have done has nothing to do with that intrinsic aspect of Obama’s orientation. Of course, Obama is a socialist! This is not a “charge”, it’s a fact! Why are his supporters so fearful of his reputation giving him away? Are they merely blinded by the light?

Oh, yeah. They say the same thing about me. I can’t see the light. You’re right, folks. I cannot buy into some nebulous concept of “change” from an untried slickster who talks out of both sides of his mouth.

Change for change’s sake—a well calculated plan to capitalize on national malaise. How can anybody not see through the Obama campaign’s dastardly plot? As mass psychologists, they have correctly gleaned that this country has been in short-term mode for a long time. We’ll vote blindly for whichever Dr. Feelgood promises us instant sweetness, without concern for the long-term effects of our impulsive action.

What gets me is that there are many people not voting for John McCain for two reasons that don’t make much sense. One is that he will be “just like Bush” and the other is that Sarah Palin is not qualified to be president if McCain dies in office, which a lot of them are saying is an almost certain thing.

What is this bullshit about McCain “voting with Bush 95% of the time”? Bush doesn’t vote. What kind of crap are you people listening to? McCain voted with his party 76% of the time, whereas Obama voted with his party 99% of the time. Obama speaks of “reaching across the aisle” to unite us, but he has no history of actually having done so. McCain has, most notably with McCain-Finegold and McCain-Kennedy, in which he co-wrote legislation with two seriously dyed-in-the-wool Democrats.

And Palin…what’s the deal? What, precisely, makes her less qualified to act as President than Obama?  Is her midwestern accent unpalatable to you East Coast liberals? Do Obama’s 146 days in the Senate, mostly voting for ultra-liberal legislation and running for president, qualify him any better for executive office than does running a state government? Has he ever held any executive responsibility? He has spent most of his political career running for office. Is there anything significant in his past that suggests that he is a leader? Oh, he was the first black editor of Harvard Law Review? What the hell good is that, other than as a feather in his personal cap? Obama himself is the deal breaker for me. Not only is his political orientation antithetical to mine but also he is naive and I do not want another Jimmy Carter “earn while you learn” administration. Please tell me why Obama is more qualified to run this country than Palin? WHY? Because he says so? Because the mainstream media says so? A comparison of their historical responsibilities sure as hell doesn’t say so!

I will do anything to prevent an irreversible turn toward socialism. The combination of Obama, Pelosi, and Reid is very scary, especially if the Bush backlash impels stupid voters bent on retribution to the extent that they blindly check the boxes of lesser qualified candidates to elect a Democrat super-majority in the senate. Al Franken—AL FRANKEN—is a viable candidate for U.S. Senate only because of these short-term thinkers. I cannot just assume the passivist position that “if they screw things up, they’ll be out in four years.” I maintain that they can and will screw things up beyond repair and that the effects will be with us for decades, if not permanently. With the president and the congress firmly in their grasp, they’ll control two branches of government, and then they’ll make enough liberal judicial appointments to control the judicial branch, too. Obama has posited that he wants judges with “empathy” for the downtrodden–at the expense of fairness–so you can count on de facto anti-capitalist legislation from the bench. By my count, that’s all three branches of Federal government, and that’s complete control by some dangerous people. If we wind up with a Euro-style, socialist, stagnant economy, your kids and grandkids will never know the life we have known. I think that’s within reach of this band of brothers; I don’t think it’s an alarmist exaggeration.

What I really don’t undestand is how people who I respect, people who are presumably highly intelligent, can buy into Obama’s melifluous mantra. They’re too intelligent to react to the hot-button issues that suck in the masses, although I know a few anti-religion folks who would do anything in their power to impede any candidate who admitted to going to church. (They’ll make an excuse for Obama’s support for faith based charities, which he agreed to in the name of more slick vote buying.) I have to think that they’ve turned off their bullshit detectors and they have entered Suspension of Disbelief Mode.

It seems that the populace is ready for that pied piper to come along and promise anything he thinks they want to hear. They’re buying a fancy looking used car without looking under the hood. It’s kind of mass denial. Why are they allowing themselves to be blindly led off this cliff, like lemmings? I can see the vacuousness in Obama, and I am just a mouse of average intelligence. He is smooth, slick, and nicely packaged. But what does he really have to offer, aside from the handouts he promises? If he gets elected, which seems likely thanks to the panacea seeking electorate, I’m going to stick my hand out just as far as everybody else’s. I’ll take my de facto payoff, even if I didn’t vote for him. I’ll do it without any conscience pangs because I don’t have a progeny to worry about.

In spite of the polls reflecting this national mania, I will not give up. I will vote for John McCain tomorrow with a clear conscience, for your progeny’s benefit. It might not make me very popular at tony, liberal, New York and D.C. cocktail parties, but I don’t get any invitations to them, anyway.

I Hear Things Down Here

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I am The Mouse Who Ate Xanax, who lives under the Nittany Turkey’s family room sofa, within furry, rounded earshot of the big TV and the radio and all. I am not seen, but occasionally heard. I while away the hours of potential visibility by listening intently for signs of human activity and only come out when it is safe. There was a big dog the other day, one who could have swallowed me in one gulp, but I was in deep, pill seeking mode, so I avoided capture. Most of the time, as I said, I just sit and listen. ???? ????? In the process, I hear things that make me wonder.

For example, it seems to this Mouse that the U.S. Presidential race is almost finished. If you listen to the TV or radio, though, you would think it has been decided for months. Polls and all that stuff are being kicked around monotonously. However, nothing is decided until the last hanging chad is counted. The leading candidate, running a campaign on smoke and mirrors, by most available measures appears to have a significant lead. What a weird year this is.

Don’t get this Mouse wrong: the smoke and mirrors campaign has been masterfully run, as it seems to have hypnotized many potential voters with its rotating magical mantras of promoting wealth envy under the guise of “fairness”, promising payoffs to less fortunate voters under the guise of “tax cuts”, and completely ignoring the absence of qualifications of a magic carpet riding, panacea proffering candidate who has served fully 164 days in elected office before running for the highest elected office in the land. Something akin to Mickey Mouse politics is going on here, and this Mouse smells a rat.

The capybara in the room is the candidate’s smooth talking potential for hoodwinking voters who are disgruntled with the status quo into voting not only for him but also for U. ?????? ??? ????? S. Senate candidates from his party, candidates these voters would ordinarily pass on. Now, having heard their pied piper’s plaintive pleas, the rats are dutifully following their improbable leader. This is a disastrous course for my adopted country (but mice are not subject to immigration rules), as it may well lead to a super-majority for that party in the Senate, which will give them free reign over my unwitting landlord’s pocketbook, among other, almost unthinkable consequences. You can contact expert immigration attorneys for hire who knows how to navigate through the tough immigration law to help you with the complected and constantly changing immigration rules.

Humans seem to be such a pliable lot, kind of like a ball of silly putty. Watching how this shaman has promised witch doctor cures for all humankind’s ills by advancing a nebulous, undefined concept of “change”, I wonder whether I should not hire his campaign masterminds to help me market my odious mouse turds to the gullible public as natural, organic, herbal supplements. That would be offal.

This Mouse has to say that whoever is running that campaign and writing the words for its front man is a master of human psychology. He knows how you humans work. You are divided into two groups of interest for masters such as these: Category One is comprised of the vast unwashed, a large number of voters who don’t understand government or economics but who can be bought with fancy promises and sweet words, while Category Two is comprised of the intellectuals, the liberal elite, who think they know what is best for everyone else and can influence a large number of voters (or think they can). The leading candidate has managed to appeal to both the masses and the elites, both Category One and Category Two.

Recently, a local newswoman interviewed the candidate’s running mate and asked whether his proposed redistribution of income wasn’t the type of socialism described in Karl Marx’s seminal work. A great media outcry ensued, and the candidate’s campaign crew denied all further access of the TV station to anyone associated with the campaign. The campaign crew, having collected record-setting donations, immediately set its attack dogs in motion, performing a metaphorical strip search of the newswoman. Politics is nasty business.

While invoking Marx was probably a bit of a sophomoric ploy by the newshuman, this Mouse believes that the question was appropriate. Of course, it was side-stepped by the running mate, whose mouth had previously gotten him in trouble with the campaign’s masterminds. The skinny guy running for president has described wealth redistribution as a tax break, and people are buying the rhetorical ploy. Call it whatever you want. This Mouse calls it socialism. If it looks like a duck…

In one famous faux pas, the leading candidate spoke of people who cling to their guns and religion. This Mouse once again heard distant Marxian echoes: “Religion is the opiate of the masses.” Many liberal elitists believe that to be axiomatic these days. When speaking to those Category Twoers, thinking that he would not be overheard by Category Oners, the two-faced nature of this candidate surfaced. He knows how to talk to both categories. He talks to Category One in open forums, with some subtle winks to Category Two, with whom he typically consorts behind closed doors.

Many of the Category One voters do not understand what their bought votes are really buying for the future of the country. Most of the Category Two voters, the intellectuals, would dearly love to embark on such an egalitarian experiment as the leading candidate advocates, just to see how it works. Indeed, their intellectual curiosity has longed for it for many years. Of course, they turn a blind eye toward the historical failure of all previous attempts at implementing welfare states, socialistic paradigms, communism—call it what you will. Taking money from the most productive members of society and playing Robin Hood with it, using the gun to the head power of central government, is a depressive scenario, denying incentives, reducing productivity, and producing the opposite effect of what is being bandied about. It will reduce, not expand, employment. You need only look across the pond to Europe to see examples of stagnant, quasi-socialist economies.

One of my pill-providing benefactors, Artificially Sweetened, made a good point. Though the unemployment rate in Greece is 30%, why should the unemployed worry about it if the state is going to take care of all of one’s basic needs? If I were there, I would not have to beg for my bread crumbs and my Xanax. I would be able to eat moussaka (or is that mouse-saka) at every meal. I would drink my ouzo and Mousetaxa on the state. Opaaaaaaaaaaaa.

The other candidate appears to this Mouse to be a bland, stodgy, bald old guy, who would maybe be a good grampa if I were human. He seems to not have the killer instinct that a candidate must have these days. His ideas make sense and are not radical, but his opponent (whose ideas are) has accused him of being just like his party’s incumbent president. He has been unable to convince the public that this is not the case, and with the current president’s approval ratings hovering at a post-Watergate Nixonian 27% and threatening to dive to Jimmy Carter lows, this is a major failure. This Mouse, however, believes that voting for this candidate makes sense, if only to forestall further assaults on innovation and productivity, the cornerstones of a capitalistic system.

Further, it makes sense to vote for this other, more stable guy to mitigate the danger of a spendthrift congress, which is the cause of many of our existing problems. A rubber-stamp president is the last thing this Mouse would want, especially one who agrees with the tax-and-spend mantra proffered by the leaders of Congress. This Mouse believes the other guy when he promises to wield the veto pen and rein in the self-serving lords in those oak-paneled halls.

Michael Kinsley, with whom this Mouse seldom agrees, wrote an essay for TIME last week. In it, he said that our society is in dire straits, and that in times of crisis, we don’t need “change”. We need to get back to business as usual. This Mouse agrees. We do not need to be conducting experiments in social engineering; things are bad enough already.

Promises by the skinny guy can be taken with a grain of salt, as he has never actually accomplished anything in his life other than running for office. Many of these concepts have been tried elsewhere and have failed. Many of us are hurting and we blame our present leaders. Some of that blame is reasonable and just, while some is misplaced. ????? ?????? We want relief and the skinny guy’s line is appealing. Many of us would like to have the Brooklyn Bridge in our real estate portfolio, too, but most of us know better than to hand over $500 of our hard earned money to the snake oil salesman who offers it. The smoke and mirrors guy is presenting the same proposition—only it is your vote he wants, in return for which he’ll give you a great big bag of promises. You might feel good momentarily, but you’ll be selling out your progeny, dooming them to an economy that lacks the opportunity and incentives you American humans have known all your lives. His proposals don’t add up. Put them on paper and see for yourselves. If you don’t or you can’t, and you vote that way, chances are you’ll get what you deserve.

The future of this country has a direct bearing on all of us, and our vote must be seriously thought out. “Trying something new” doesn’t get it. We all hurt now, and our affections are easily bought by a whiff of expensive perfume and a dropped handkerchief. However, such rendezvouses rarely result in substantial, productive, long-term relationships. The last thing we need now is to capitulate to the flirtations of an untried, untested, inexperienced candidate. With that in mind, and in spite of my host Turkey’s previously announced write-in campaign, this Mouse endorses the white-haired guy for President of the United States.