The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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The New York Times? Really?

Posted on May 29, 2012 Written by The Mouse Who Ate Xanax

As you might remember, during football lulls, I raise my rodentious head and squeak, for I am The Mouse Who Ate Xanax, the varmint you either love or hate, the infester of your sofa, the one and only mouse mental case who thinks politics and eats Xanax. The Turkey allows me space on the blog not only because he thinks I’m funny at times but also because he thinks pretty much like me in spite of being a birdbrain. I am the opinion editor here, and you know what they say about opinions!

I’m a neurotic commenter on all things political. The obvious political event of the year is the Presidential Election in November. Now that the Texas primary has put Mr. Romney over the top, we officially have a two man race. The tortoise versus the hare. You guess which is which.

Two observations right off the bat: the Democrats are campaigning on nothing and the Republicans are campaigning on — nothing. The Democrats accuse Romney of campaigning on Bain Capital’s successes, and the Republicans defend Romney’s record at Bain, so the Democrats say that Romney is running on his successes at Bain Capital. Makes great sense, doesn’t it? Meanwhile, since Obama cannot run on his real record, he continues to blame Bush while inventing a record we all should believe. With smoke and mirrors, his sidemen have produced two charts, one “proving” that he has been a great job creator and the other “proving” that he is not a big spender of our taxpayers’ money. Both of these glamorous charts are easily debunked if one delves even high school deep into the underlying information. But Obama knows the value of viral marketing and simple-ass charts that our lazy ass voters will take at face value and then re-post and re-post, as does my ex-buddy Diane, on Facebook. So, Obama is really running on — the Internet!

The Internet and its appeal to short attention spans. Yep. SQUEAK!!! The gullible leading the gullible. This mouse hopes that they’re a little less gullible than they were leading up to the 2008 election. Oy vey! How’s that hope and change thing working out for you dolts? Oops? Didn’t work? Then, hey, we need another four years to make it work! Look at the mess we inherited! It wasn’t created in four years, so how can it be fixed in four years?

Great mantra. That’s like, “We have to pass the bill if we want to see what’s in it.”

Listen, Mouse fans, I could monopolize all the space here, but I would be remiss if I didn’t point you toward David Brooks’ great op-ed in the New York Times entitled “The Role of Uncle Sam.” It sure got my juices flowing, making me want to run right out and pick a fight with the cat. For a change, the Times published an opinion that was critical of our current approach to federal government. We need to see more of this, inasmuch as our current approach is unsustainable.

I posted that article on Facebook and immediately got a comment from one of my followers there:

“Well, I agree with his idea of looking at the role of govt as opposed to the morality of it, but I can’t agree with some of the conclusions here… FDR was NOT right to aggressively respond to the Depression as he did. It prolonged the depression. The Great Society? Really? The incremental nature of Progressivism is what got us into this debt mess, in my opinion. But, hey, who am I to say you can’t have your romance?”

I replied:

Some economists agree with your assertion about FDR and some do not. I tend to believe that some of the spending and jobs programs (busywork, in some cases) were necessary at the time to assuage a weary, fearful national psyche at the time. FDR delivered a package of nurturing, replete with fireside chats and inspiring speeches (much unlike our current self-appointed savior who only pontificates). Roosevelt inspired; Obama confounds. Of course, today’s fragmented society is not about to be healed, particularly by a charlatan. I hold this truth to be self-evident: Much of today’s apathetic attitude exists because the Great Depression is not even a distant memory for most. They think that healing means only throwing money at a problem. Where the money comes from they not only don’t give a shit, but couldn’t possibly understand. Our society is composed for the most part of a bunch of whiney, sniveling, non-producers with their hands out. But I digress.

Anyhow, I agree that much governmental overreach traces back to the New Deal and the Great Society. The former was more understandable in the wake of a national crisis. The latter was pure overreach and, as Brooks wrote, conceived in the hope of entrenching Democrat voters with permanent entitlements.

What I think is necessary is driving all of the damn radical ideology — both right and left outpost varieties — from the political discourse. For the good of our society, establish long term goals and commit ourselves to them. Strategic planning is all but absent, having vanished in favor of short-term, feelgood programs that suck in voters. For too long, small groups of people have been coddled just to gain their votes. As long as we coddle people, we’ll create differences: X is more privileged than Y, Y is more privileged than Z, they’re all more privileged than me. If we object to the coddling, we’re branded as racists, homophobes, or anti-Christian. But in fact, it’s the policies that exacerbate the differences. OK, so let’s stop all that useless shit and treat everyone as we would like to be treated without showing favors to any particular group. Social engineering is a failed philosophy.

I’m for small government — and by small, I don’t mean laying off 250 people in the National Parks Service, I mean excising the departments of Energy and Education. Some of the most oppressive crap comes at their behest. We’re putting money in people’s pockets to oppress us? Doesn’t seem to make sense.

What Obama wants to create is a world of communist equality. Organize the proletariat, put the clamps on capitalism, establish a broad, privileged government class. So long as there are ideologues who agree with him, along with fools who buy his way as a better way, we’re going nowhere but down the same tubes that swallowed the Soviet Union.

I do squeak off onto lots of tangents, don’t I. But it keeps my idle paws out of trouble. I could be running around finding bits of food under the watchful eye of that damn cat.

Be sure to take a look at my human friend Drozz’s blog, The Double Standard.

I’m off to see my shrink, Dr. Verbrent Musburger.

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Filed Under: Current Events Tagged With: conservative, elections, liberal, politics, US president

Really?

Posted on April 25, 2012 Written by The Mouse Who Ate Xanax

Recently, a single word, vogue affectation has emerged in vocal and written commentary, in particular reflecting the perceived need to express sarcastic bemusement in commenting on current events in politics with a wink and a slant. This oft abused interjection is cropping up more and more in the media and in the blogosphere. Moreover, it is slithering into casual conversation, as any annoying vogue word is wont to do. ?????? ???? ?????? It goes without saying that its condescending tone of ironic incredulity mixed with moral superiority, along with its exponentially grown ubiquity is beginning to piss this Turkey off. That’s nothing new. After all, this old curmudgeon gets pissed off when the last drop winds up hitting the water after the flush is complete. And thanks to a benignly overgrown prostate, it frequently does so, but I digress. (TMI. Really?) Anyhow, someone needs to turn off the spiggot.

“What is this word, already?” you ask.
Really?

“Yes, really.”
That’s what it is.

“What’s what it is?”
OK, so you can’t glean in from the headline and I hand it to you and you still don’t get it? Really?

The vogue word today, much as it was in the 1970s, is really. Only the punctuation and inflection have changed to protect the no longer innocent.

Back in the 1970s, the word was used as a semi-disinterested, declarative interjection to convey vacuous agreement. Sometimes it was pronounced to rhyme with “Philly”, especially among the Valley Girl demographic. Here’s a conversation from the 1970s, taking place in a fern bar. (If you have to ask what a fern bar is, you weren’t of age in the 1970s.)

She: I’m like totally into the Bee Gees. They make me feel like dancing.
He: Rilly.

She: So, like what’s your sign? I’m a Libra.
He: Rilly. Like, I’m a Aquarius.

She: Rilly. You wanna get out of here and have some fun at my place?
He: REALLY?! We’re outta here!

That was the 1970s, and this is now. We’re a less kind, more sarcastic genre of humanity a generation later. Now, we use the word to express condescension and derision in a unilateral conversation, as if we were commenting on something someone else said, only we said it. It works for both mocking agreement and mocking dismissal — you have to guess, but it’s usually directed at a knowing audience, so you’re supposed to know. This “Really?” thing has all but replaced the ridiculous, “Well, duh!” Here are some examples.

  • In The Weekly Standard: Cheney’s heart transplant won’t change his approach to work. Really? (Meaning: Wow! This guy is one tough cookie who is purporting to be able to handle a full schedule. ????? ???? ???? It’s going to be impossible and we don’t really think he can do it but it’s great that he thinks so.)
  • In the Daily Kos: Cheney’s heart transplant won’t change his approach to work. Really? (Meaning: Yeah, right. This guy’s heart was black to begin with and he’s a warmonger and that’s never going to change. His “work” is grabbing money and killing people.)

It plays equally well (???) in prosaically spoken prose, particularly on those 15 second sound bite laden news programs we no longer watch.

  • Channel 9 Eyewitness News: The Magic won’t be going deep into the playoffs without Dwight Howard. Really? Marla will have the story after the break…

I suppose that we’re stuck with the “Really?” crap for a while. Flare-ups of this kind usually die a slow smoldering death, smothered by overuse, but fanned by the minions of heartlanders to whom it remains a new thing for a while longer because it took a while longer to get there. Inevitably, however, it will be replaced eventually by something even lamer. ???? ??? ????

The Turkey has done written enough. Really?

 

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Filed Under: General Tagged With: Humor, language, language and usage, news, politics

Casey, A Free Woman

Posted on July 17, 2011 Written by The Mouse Who Ate Xanax

Raw video of Casey Anthony leaving the Orange County jail shortly after midnight. Led by Jose Baez, the lovely Casey is resplendent in a fuchsia v-neck sweater, simple jeans, and sneakers, with her hair tied back into a bun. ???? ????? ???? ????? Her face was somewhat nervous, but otherwise expressionless. ??? ?????

(Reported by the Mouse, embedded rodent in the Orange County jail. ???? ???? ??? ?????? )

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Filed Under: Casey Anthony Tagged With: Casey Anthony, release

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Whodat Turkey?

The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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