…I thought it was time to reprise this classic — an oldie but a goodie.
For, you see, he let an intern go down on he. (Poetic license.)
You’ve no doubt had your fill of phone calls, TV ads, and former friends calling you stupid and hating your guts for taking a different political stand than they. I would say that this has been a particularly pernicious presidential election, but I would be lying. It’s just like all the rest. Recent wounds are more vivid than old scars, as it were.
I’m going to voice my opinion here, and if you don’t want to read it, no one’s holding a gun to your head. This is my opinion and mine only. I’m not telling you to adopt it, so please shitcan the comments about how stupid or misguided I am. If you want to refute what I posit, fine. Just skip the ad hominem crap or I’ll delete your comment.
Other blogs will tiptoe right around this important subject, but you know this turkey too well to think that he wouldn’t bludgeon you with his opinion.
Selecting a president and a platform is not like trying to be on the winning side of a football game. When the final gun sounds, the football game is over and of no lasting consequence to the fans. This isn’t about bragging rights. It is about seriously considering our future as a cohesive, viable, and vital country.
Some say it is too late, that the country cannot be saved. That’s a lazy philosophy, one that will result in no good. The current administration has attempted to anesthetize the masses with its handout policies, its promotion of wealth envy, its pro-union brotherhood, and its anti-business orientation. The resulting placated passivity, coupled with individual greed and desire for “free stuff” without commensurate individual responsibility is a highly undesireable, burgeoning national psyche that must be treated aggressively.
When I think of “four more years”, I think of the way in which Obamacare was passed, against the wishes of most citizens, with Nancy Pelosi ginning up votes by telling the public that we have to “pass it in order to see what’s in it” instead of allowing ample time for study.
When I think of “four more years”, I think of cherry deals for both U.S. and Canadian auto workers’ unions to “save Chrysler”, while screwing bond holders, including many state pension plans.
When I think of “four more years”, I think of divisiveness, creating and emphasizing artificial gaps between rich and poor, polarizing people against business, and using the furor to create stifling regulations via bloated Executive Branch departments that circumvent congressional checks and balances.
When I think of “four more years”, I think of expanding unemployment rolls, more formerly productive workers on the dole, counterproductive extensions of unemployment compensation, paying people not to work, then paying tongue-in-cheek lip service to “creating new jobs”.
When I think of “four more years”, I think of anti-bipartisan spirit in federal government, the “my way or the highway” mentality, the contempt this administration has shown for the ideas and thoughts of its opposition, the desire to stifle rather than compromise. Is it any wonder why this president has not been able to ram a single budget through congress? Even his own kind have rejected his lavish spending.
When I think of “four more years”, I think of how much weaker this nation will be at home and abroad given the weak leadership from this president and his selected henchmen. I think of how the primary orientation from the start has been to campaign first, and govern second.
When I think of “four more years”, I think of how this country will collapse under the weight of its accumulated debt if the profligate spending continues, entitlements are not dealt with, and continued draconian regulation, union favoritism, and disincentives to employment conspire to further compromise productivity.
When I think of “four more years”, I think about what effects the forthcoming “fiscal cliff” will impose upon the economy.
When I think of “four more years”, I think of how the middle class is en prise. The masses that once made us the greatest, most productive nation on earth are gradually being transformed into handout seeking drones as rights, property, and prerogatives are usurped.
When I think of “four more years”, I think of how “me first” issues like abortion, gay marriage, immigration control, and “free stuff” have become dominant over the real issue of how to preserve this great nation. If we neglect to keep our eyes on the ball, we’ll lose the game.
Obviously, I could go on. The problem is that when I thought through the dubious accomplishments of the past four years, I could come up with nothing positive. Nothing at all. Sure, the incumbent was handed a “mess”, as he’ll be the first to tell you, but he volunteered for the job, and no one said it would be easy. He wants an “incomplete” grade, because he wants us to believe that in “four more years” he can fix everything he either neglected to fix or screwed up further during his first four years. As I recall, the only “incomplete” grades that were valid were caused by illness or personal hardship; this, on the other hand, would be like one of those “I” grades that is a negotiated attempt to avoid an “F” by extending the amount of time to complete a class most others worked through in the time allotted. Obama has earned a solid “F”. Let us not give him his requested incomplete. He’s out of excuses. Four more years will only leave us in deeper doo-doo when he’s done. Wasn’t he the guy who once told us that if he couldn’t get the job done in four years, he would be a one-term president?
His penchant for averting congress, coupled with his being a lame duck would be disastrous during a second four years. Imagine an unrestrained Obama tightening the noose around energy companies so he can fund his pet renewable projects, costing all of us megabucks on our energy bills and at the gas pump. That’s just one area.
Think about the one thing he can control with impunity—foreign policy. With the Senate expected to remain under Democratic control, Obama and a compliant Senate can manhandle U.S. policy abroad. This is what he was referring to when he told Dmitri Medvedev that “after the election [he’ll] have more flexibility.” I can foresee concessions and kowtowing abroad that will further weaken us and perhaps imperil us as a nation.
Mitt Romney isn’t perfect. Like all politicians, he has flip-flopped on some issues that have been notoriously bandied about by the media. Of course, Obama has done the same, but being a media darling, he has gotten away with it by and large. We all change our mind. Our positions evolve as conditions change. Politicians are certainly bent on being elected, so they respond to what the traffic will bear. Frankly, I could care less about whether Mitt Romney ever mentioned overturning Roe v. Wade or Obama was once opposed to gay marriage.
Unlike the incumbent, Mitt Romney has successfully run a large business. We are a capitalist nation, and it is capitalism, not socialism that has made us strong. Yes, some capitalists are driven by greed, but then again, if we’re condemning people for greed, how about condemning half the populace — those who espouse the “free stuff” mentality, as well?
Unlike the incumbent, Mitt Romney has successfully run a major state. Being an executive requires people skills, the ability to compromise, and “thinking outside the box.” Mitt Romney has demonstrated these qualities throughout his lifetime. Obama has been a community organizer and what else? Not even a full term as U.S. senator. A failed first term as President of the United States. His resume doesn’t portray him as the better candidate.
Mitt Romney is not George W. Bush and the times now are quite different from that which they were in 2000. Twelve years later, we’ve suffered through some pretty bad shit, at the behest of Obama, Bush, and their predecessors. The past four years of exponentially increasing debt, decreased world status, and mean-spirited partisan politics did not cure anything, they exacerbated what was already bad. Obama’s excuses don’t wash. It’s a tough job. He screwed it up.
I hope that we can find some new hope in Mitt Romney, hope that we thought we were getting when we bought the “Hope and Change” line the incumbent pandered. Hoping against hope, maybe, but sticking with the incumbent gives us no hope at all.
It will be a long road back. I believe Mitt Romney will work hard to bring in ideas from all quarters, as one must do to succeed in business. I believe that a Mitt Romney administration will not compromise progress for the sake of ideology. I believe that with a strong leader we can trust — and yes, I believe that Mitt Romney is sincere and trustworthy — we can unite to better shoulder the hardships that are as inevitable during a national rebuilding effort as the are during a football teams rebuilding effort.
The Nittany Turkey endorses Mitt Romney for President of the United States.
No matter for whom you cast your ballot, please exercise your right and responsibility to vote, damnit!
I was just reviewing the recently published list of college football announcer/reporter teams for ESPN this fall, when I noticed that Pam Ward was conspicuous by her absence. A little further research revealed that on May 21 ESPN announced without supplying a reason that Pam had been removed from college football coverage.
If I were ESPN, my reason would have been low ratings and viewer discontent. She got low ratings right here in my man cave and the viewers here were discontented. Ward’s droning monotone was not engaging. Furthermore, the combination of it and the crowd sounds created sort of a white noise that I personally tried to tune out. Just when I would, Pam would add a high note to her usual alto and it would wake me up.
One enterprising blogger wrote a series of posts called “The Pam Ward Chronicles” for a blog entitled “Awful Announcing.” That site even established awards for awful announcing named after Ward: The Pammies. Our old “friend” Craig James and ex-Nittany Lion Matt Millen led the point totals when last I looked; at that time Pam herself was tied for third place with Gary Danielson.
By the way, James is also gone, although he left in order to flop at politics. I won’t mince words. James is an asshole and he subtracted from, rather than added to, ESPN’s Saturday coverage. Jason Kirk of SBNation said it this way:
“…Craig James is an awful person who was also awful at his job as a college football commentator, while Pam Ward was by comparison merely an unpopular announcer… The sport has suddenly lost its two least beloved announcers.”
Awful people might think that politics is their only recourse for a career in decline, given all the awful people one finds in Washington. Well, “Awful” James isn’t even going to join that crowd, but he’s definitely not returning to ESPN (hallelujah!). He said:
“There are a couple of networks that have called to see what I am willing to do. When I resigned in December, I went all in for politics, and I found out how many people enjoyed me as a broadcaster. They said they would miss me, and I said thank you.”
You won’t include this Turkey in those “many” people. I hope James finds a nice position with the Notre Dame network or something.
I bet Washington State Cougars head football coach Mike Leach isn’t too unhappy about the departure of James from ESPN. James used his national exposure to provide the Texas Tech administration with a flimsy reason for firing Leach as head coach, ostensibly for not apologizing to James’ son for being a meanie in practice. Leach thought the James kid was lazy and had an obnoxious sense of entitlement, which was true because the elder James frequently lobbied Leach for more playing time for him.
James, who ran for the Republican nomination for U.S. Senate in Texas in 2012 against the very popular Kay Bailey Hutchison finished fourth with approximately four percent of the votes.
No Nittany Lion fan worth his blue and white glasses would ever support or defend James. He was a voter in the AP college football poll and a Penn State hater from way back.
Because James’ sports reporter and political careers were about as much of a bust as his gentility (e.g., his famous 1998 utterance, “Wisconsin is the worst team to ever play in the Rose Bowl.”), he’ll be relegated to spending his time directing his eponymously named Craig James School of Broadcasting.
But I digress unpleasantly. Let us get back to good old Pammie.
I was so annoyed by Ward that I wrote the following paragraphs for my 2006 commentary after the Nittany Lions defeated the Akron Zips 34-16:
And now, a word or two about the ESPN2 announcing crew, Pam Ward and Mike Gottfried. I cringe whenever I run into a game that is being called by Pam Ward, ESPN’s semi-androgynous concession to the erstwhile feminist movement. Ward is a former sideline reporter who requested to be moved to the announcing booth. OK, I understand that ESPN is headquartered in Connecticut, whose citizens lacked the brains and foresight to nominate Joe Lieberman in favor of crackpot anti-war activist Ned Lamont—but I digress. The boys in Bristol are no strangers to political correctness. So, they acceded to Pam’s wishes. I could go along with having a woman call games, but Ward’s thready alto voice is not powerful enough to be heard above the crowd noise. She just kind of merges in with it, creating a rather annoyingly monotonous drone. She rarely gets amped up. I can’t stand her. Her commentary adds nothing. On one particular play, a Penn State player lost his helmet, which Ward referred to as his “hat.” Mike Gottfried, erstwhile Pitt head coach (1986-1989), is the other half of the team—the color man. Listening to him is only slightly more exciting than watching paint dry. He is knowledgeable about football and he prepares very well for games, but it is painful to listen to his slow, somewhat slurred speech—kind of like Forrest Gump with a midwestern twang instead of a ‘Bama drawl. At one point, Gottfried described the crowd as “107 maniacs.” He was only slightly off—by three orders of magnitude. Maybe he had been listening to Natalie Merchant’s music or something (but even Natalie had 10,000). The dubious Ward/Gottfried high point occurred when during the game the director chose to show a shot of Ward explaining to Gottfried how to use his ESPN cell phone. Fortunately, nothing was happening on the field at the time. I was hoping that with the Nittany Lions success last year, we’d get better announcers this year, but I guess I was wrong. I can hardly wait to see who ESPNU assigns to us for the Youngstown State game.
So, what we do around here to offset the horribleness of the ESPN announcers is access the Penn State radio broadcast via the internet and pipe Steve Jones and Jack Ham into my home theater amplifier, selecting it instead of the TV sound. Having a Tivo makes it easy to synchronize the video with the audio. Steve Jones is the opposite of Pam Ward—not only can his voice be heard down the block but also his enthusiasm, to put it mildly, is at Red Bull level the entire game. That can be annoying sometimes, too, but it nevertheless is an excellent antidote for the likes of Ward and Gottfried.
A lot of male announcers never played the game, but no doubt all of them dreamed of playing. I guess Pam must have, too, but the game was not quite ready for women yet, particularly for monotonic ones who could not be heard above the crowd noise. Pam broke ground for female announcers with her dogged persistence. Originally, when ESPN wanted to offer her a studio role, she held firm to wanting to be a game broadcaster. Her persistence paid off in 2000, when she became the first woman to perform play-by-play announcing for an NCAA nationally televised game.
On the other hand, her performance set back women in sports announcing at least 50 years.
This Turkey bids both Pam Ward and Craig James an enthusiastic farewell, and best of luck with their next careers, as long as they don’t involve any football I might want to watch.