The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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The Joseph V. Paterno Award

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The Maxwell Football Club of Philadelphia has established a new annual college football coaching award named after Penn State Nittany Lions Head Coach Joe Paterno.

Selection criteria for the Joseph V. Paterno Award have not yet been revealed. The Maxwell Club currently honors college coaches with two established awards, the George Munger Coach of the Year Award and the Tri-State Coach of the Year Award. The 2009 Munger award went to Gary Patterson, Head Football Coach of Texas Christian University, while Temple University Head Football Coach Al Golden was selected as 2009 Tri-State Coach of the Year.

This Turkey’s conjecture is that the Joseph V. Paterno Award will honor superior lifetime college coaching contributions and accomplishments. As it would be gauche for Joe to win an award named after him, this Turkey’s first three selections are Paul “Bear” Bryant (posthumously), Eddie Robinson (posthumously), and Bobby Bowden. I believe that Joe would also pick those three. That ought to prime the pump for the first few years.

Yeah, I know that Bryant died in 1983 and Robinson died in 2007. But if you’re going to hand out an award for lifetime coaching achievements in the modern eras, you have to include those three. Besides, you don’t want Bobby to be the first recipient, do you?

Feel fortunate that I didn’t go back to Ara Parseghian, Bud Wilkinson, and Knute Rockne.

At tonight’s awards banquet, held in Atlantic City, the Maxwell Football Club will award 14 separate awards to football players and coaches from high school, college, and professional programs. In addition to the coaching awards mentioned in the previous paragraph, 2009 college honorees will include University of Texas quarterback Colt McCoy (73rd Maxwell Award, for college football player of the year) and Nebraska defensive tackle  Ndamukong Suh (13th annual Chuck Bednarik Award, for defensive player of the year).

From the pro ranks, Quarterback Drew Brees and Head Coach Sean Payton of the New Orleans Saints will receive the 2009 Bert Bell Player of the Year and the 2009 Greasy Neale Coach of the year, respectively.

Ron Jaworski is the sitting president of the Maxwell Football Club, which is headquartered in Philadelphia.

PSU Punter Predicament

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Redshirt junior Ryan Breen has left the Penn State football program. With his departure and the graduation of starter Jeremy Boone, this leaves an empty roster slot for a punter for the 2010 Nittany Lions.

Breen, from Clarkston, Michigan and reportedly unhappy, started spring semester but left the university within the past two weeks.

Although no punters exist on the roster at the moment, place-kickers Collin Wagner and Anthony Fera were both punters in high school.

Breen was called into action for a single punt during the 2009 season.

M*****i still angling for a job in the NFL

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What’s that you say? Who?

It’s that unwritable word again. This Turkey, who has been hibernating since the Capital One Mudbowl was awakened from his fowl, geriatric reveries by the distant echo of thunderous hooves on the artificial turf at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, where the NFL Scouting Combine is being held. More on that event as regards other Nittany Lions in another post. This one is about M*****i.

Even after having attended therapy sessions specifically directed at the problem every other Thursday night for a couple of years now, I still have difficulty saying the name — and I know that there are many fellow Penn State football fans who are in the same boat. The group therapist encouraged me to get back into the water, to drive that wrecked car, to hop right back on that crashed bike, but … but … even with the nurturing encouragement of my group of fellow therapees, I couldn’t. I’d start to say the name and my tongue just would get tied. The moniker just didn’t want to emerge from the great Turkey beak, getting stuck somewhere in my wattles— *****SLAP!!!****

Thanks! I needed that.

I’ll say the name now. Morelli. That’s it! I’ll say it again. MORELLI.

I feel…I feel … … liberated! ???? ??? ?????

But I digress.

The purpose of this post is to apprise you of the fact that Anthony Morelli — yes that Anthony Morelli — is still trying to get himself into the NFL.

When we last uttered his name, Morelli was working at his former high school as an assistant football coach and working part-time construction for his dad. ????? ??????? ???? It seemed to be a fitting end to the story, so we concluded our piece by wishing Morelli well in his coaching career at Plum High. Alas, he didn’t get the message.

Originally an undrafted free agent with the Arizona Cardinals, Morelli washed out with them in the pre-season. So, he returned to Pittsburgh. During his high school coaching career there, he was asked by the Green Bay Packers and the Buffalo Bills to work out for them. Neither team saw what they were looking for in a backup quarterback.

Morelli won’t give up, though. He still thinks he is NFL material, as does his wife, whose life would be measurably better if he was.

As another step toward potential quarterbacking legitimacy and to enhance his NFL visibility, Morelli signed with the Milwaukee Iron of the re-fledged Arena Football League in November. At his wifey’s urging, he moved to Indianapolis. I guess she thought being close to the Apollo of NFL quarterbacks, the veritable greatest of the great, who now now has to walk around town with Dan Dierdorff’s head glued to his ass crack, Peyton Manning, would enable talent vibes to rub off on her darling hubster by electromagnetic induction or something known only to the stubborn Morelli family. Could she have been hoping that Manning would mentor her soul mate? Nahhh, that couldn’t be it. No one in their right mind would move to a place like Indy hoping for something like that.

But it happened. Well, not exactly. They couldn’t quite swing it with Peyton. He had some other things to do. Who did they get? Jack Trudeau, former part-time Colts quarterback, who actually was their offensive MVP in 1989.

The latest development is that Morelli has invited himself to the NFL Combine on Friday for a private showing of his talent for coaches and scouts. He won’t work out with the other 2010 draft aspirants. This is between him and the NFL.

“I’ve gotten bigger, faster, stronger,” Morelli told The Associated Press. “I think the chances are pretty good, I just need to get in front of some people.”

Morelli is now 24. He thinks that gives him an advantage over the younger guys at the NFL Combine. Tell Colt McCoy that.

What polarized this Turkey against Morelli was not his playing style but his immature egocentricity. I’ll never forget Morelli’s antics at a game in Michigan Stadium where Penn State was losing soundly, when he stood up on the bench and taunted Michigan home fans. Not what I would call Penn State decorum. ???????? ??? ????????? Scoreboard, Anthony. I’ll forgive him for the two fatal interceptions in the Ohio State game long before I’ll ever forgive him for his juvenile lack of leadership.

Perhaps time should heal all wounds and perhaps some desperate NFL franchise will either look past Morelli’s leadership issues or assume that he has matured enough to have left them in his past.