The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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The Turkey Takes a Break

Posted on July 1, 2007 Written by The Nittany Turkey

I’ll be having major surgery on Tuesday, July 10. In the meanwhile, I’m going to be pretty busy getting things in order, so I thought I would take this opportunity to let my vast readership, both of you, know that I’ll be taking a break from writing this drivel.

People have asked me if I’ll be taking a laptop to the hospital to alleviate the boredom. Just what I’d need—refereeing chat room fights from my sickbed. No, I won’t be doing that. I’m expected to be in the hospital 3–5 days, and I shall see how much strength I have to get along without the electronic tether. I’ll have my cell phone, but at least there’ll be actual talking human beings on the other end of it. Besides, they don’t have Wi-Fi at the hospital, just dial-up.

Awwww, hell, I think I’ll take a computer. At least I can play DVDs on it. I’ll be bored, so I could answer some email while I’m at it. And, aw, what the hell, maybe I could get some work done. And maybe I’ll write some stuff for The Turkey. Yeah! Why the hell not?

One way or the other, I wish you folks a happy week or two and a great celebration of our nation’s independence from the Limeys. Ciao, for now.

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Filed Under: General Tagged With: Health Care

And He Abdicated the Throne?

Posted on June 22, 2007 Written by The Nittany Turkey

“The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.”

— King Edward VIII

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Filed Under: General Tagged With: Humor

Kellogg Bows to Pressure from Weirdos

Posted on June 18, 2007 Written by The Nittany Turkey

So, the litigation-threatening wankers are at it again. Not long ago, they were threatening McDonald’s with lawsuits for making us fat; now they’re threatening Kellogg for making our kids fat. Like they even care about our kids! These weenies are merely fronts for the plaintiffs’ bar. Let’s go after a big company and make money for all the pissant lawyers, shall we?

They want Kellogg to disassociate their cereals from cartoon characters and other things that kids like. And they want Kellogg to reduce the sugar content of their cereals. Or they’ll sue.

[Read more…]

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Filed Under: General, Health

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Whodat Turkey?

The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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