The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Turkey Humor: The Pre-Booty Call Agreement

Posted on March 2, 2006 Written by The Nittany Turkey

The following might be offensive to some, so to those I say: The subject matter is SEX; if you don’t like it, don’t read it.

I thought this was pretty clever when I spotted it on a friend’s blog. It is a blank agreement to be signed by a male sex partner who is about to enter into into a “booty call” relationship. It is reprinted with my friend’s permission.

Enjoy!

[Read more…]

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Humor

LJ Disses “Old Coaches” Vermeil and Paterno

Posted on February 12, 2006 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Last December, the Turkey wrote about former Nittany Lion Larry Johnson’s magical season with the NFL Kansas City Chiefs. Today, Johnson plays in the Pro Bowl, joining a great pantheon of NFL running backs including Edgerrin James, Shaun Alexander, Tiki Barber, Warrick Dunn, and LaDainian Tomlinson. Johnson is the youngest of that bunch.

Whereas Johnson endured a rocky relationship with now retired head coach Dick Vermeil, characterized by a three-year battle for playing time, new Chiefs coach Herm Edwards has solidly backed Johnson as his starting running back for next season, regardless of the state of health of once superstar but oft injured Priest Holmes, Vermeil’s anointed starter. Asked about the relationship with Vermeil, the former Penn State star said, “I don’t know. It was like that in college, too, where Joe Paterno didn’t start me full-time until my senior year. Maybe there’s something about those old coaches, huh, who are kind of set in their ways.”

Len Paquarelli of ESPN wrote a nice piece about Larry Johnson, speculating that he could conceivably compile a 2,500 yard season if he continues to play as he did during the 2005 season. Read it here.

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Filed Under: Penn State Football

Biased Officiating

Posted on February 11, 2006 Written by The Nittany Turkey

The Penn State season is over, but lots of people are still grumbling about poor and biased officiating, perceived or real. The common, downtrodden, step-brother feeling among Penn State fans is that the odds are stacked against us in the Big Ten because we’re still not regarded as “one of the boys.” They see us as the target of a vast, conference wide, establishment conspiracy that would undermine our Nittany Lions whenever their perennial favorites Michigan and Ohio State are in jeopardy of being eclipsed by Penn State. Game officials, hired by the conference, are viewed as the soldiers implementing that conspiratorial agenda.

The conspiracy theory is a little extreme, but we do seem to have a lot of nonsensical calls going against us—more than those that benefit us. (Doesn’t it always seem that way to sports fans?) Given that, read this article by David Jones of the Harrisburg Patriot-Observer about an acknowledged conflict of interest by a Big Ten official you will remember very well. Thanks to Joe T. for pointing it out to The Turkey.

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Filed Under: Penn State Football

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Whodat Turkey?

The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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