The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Enough Natalee Hysteria, Already!

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I’ve long ago grown weary of the daily media bombardment about young Natalee Holloway’s disappearance on the tropical island of Aruba. Natalee is (or was, as the case may be), after all, only one person.

Nataleemania reached a new high in ludicrousness over our Independence Day weekend. On July 4, the Kalpoe brothers were released by an Aruban judge because of insufficient evidence against them. Third suspect Joran van der Sloot was ordered held for an additional 60 days. It is not this judicial action that inflamed me. It was the response by family spokesman Beth Holloway Twitty, Natalee’s mother.
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NFL Draft Grumble: Rock Bottom?

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For the first time since 1951, no Penn State players were selected in the NFL draft. What does this tell us?

It tells us that it don’t git no lower!

Was it a surprise that Zack Mills wasn’t picked? No. Zack wasn’t really NFL material–or even NCAA Division I-A material, if you please. Given the anemic performance of the Nittany Lion offense this past season, it is not at all shocking that no offensive player was picked. What of the defense, though? Andrew Guman was a starter on our vaunted defense. What about him? What about Derek Wake?

Could Penn State’s overall reputation as a producer of underperforming first-rounders finally be catching up with them? Look at some of the first-round busts of the past 10 years. Ki-Jana Carter, Curtis Enis, and Courtney Brown were all highly touted. Where are they now? Sure, they were all plagued by injuries. However, one has to wonder how lightning can strike so many times in the same place. Could these injuries have been precipitated by a lack of conditioning?

Perhaps the conditioning program at Penn State is as bad as the offense has been? Doesn’t it all relate back to coaching?

In any case, this snub by the NFL’s 32 teams is just the latest affirmation that Penn State no longer runs a Division I-A top twenty-five football program. Duh! Not a major leap of faith arriving at that conclusion, was it?

They tell us that things will get better. They had better. The way it has been going, Penn State might not have been able to muster a winning record in the Mid-America Conference. This certainly will have a negative effect on recruiting.

A winning season will shut my mouth.

A win, a win! Finally, a win!

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The Nittany Lions went to Bloomington favored by three and a half points. Having watched every Penn State game this year, I felt that if I were to be so crass as to bet on college sports, I would take Indiana and the points. Remember that Indiana has never beaten Penn State in nine opportunities. But we really suck this year. Even though Phil Grosz of Blue White Illustrated, the perennial optimist, predicted a 24–10 Penn State victory, I would still bet against them. Hell, Phil has picked the Lions in every game they’ve ever played, going back to 1898.
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