The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Search This Site

Enter keyword(s) below to search for relevant articles.

Home Archives for Alabama

Game Day

Posted on Written by

There is much excitement in the air as kickoff time for the battle between Penn State and Alabama approaches. I was amazed and impressed with the groundswell of Twitter activity yesterday from fans, bloggists, and Nittany Lions players, both past and present. Tuning into those tweets, I felt like I was tracking a troop movement converging on Tuscaloosa.

Si Redd is one of the more prolific tweeters on the team. Hell, I even got a couple of tweets from his Psych 100 class (“4 mins to go…”). He’s been cranked up ever since he got out of that class, calling for the big upset all the way to Birmingham yesterday. This morning, he was still at it: “9/11.. a day that will never be forgotten.. but also a day where The Pennsylvania State University Football Team will #SHOCKtheWORLD .”

Graham Zug just re-tweeted this: “RT @PSUSTRETCH Feels familiar 1990: Notre Dame #1, Penn State #18. Tony Sacca freshman QB. PSU, 24-21. I say it’s time to repeat history.” Earlier, on the way to the hotel, he commented about the hotel keys (click the link for the picture): “http://plixi.com/p/44370654 they gave us some legit hotel room keys…”

ESPN College Gameday is in town for the game. Unfortunately, Lee Corso put on the ugly elephant head. Bobby Bowden, the guest picker, also went with the Crimson Tide, citing the heat and an inexperienced quarterback as conspiring against the Nittany Lions. No one picked Penn State, but that’s been pretty much the case wherever one looks.

This Turkey, of course, has been pessimistic in predicting the outcome. I gave my reasons in a prior post. However, if the football gods have been listening to Silas Redd’s prayers and through their beneficence Penn State should happen to win, it will make me one very happy Turkey.

Of course, the weather is conspiring against the Nittany Snowbirds. Our Penn State Alumni Association chapter’s president posted this on Facebook a few minutes ago: “Holy crap it’s hot in Tuscaloosa!!! Thank God for our media parking pass in shade right next to the stadium (and a Publix!)”.

We’ll be moving the feast to the other side of Orlando for this one, christening Jackstand’s man cave (aka Mike’s Garage). Jackstand will be hosting half the games this year, giving the usual suspects a little variety of venue and hosting style. And we get to play with the cat, too. Jackstand is a Penn State convert, having earned both of his degrees at UCF. He’s been impressive in his loyalty and enthusiasm for his adopted team.

As I write this, more gambling money seems to have poured in on the Alabama side of the ledger. The spread is up to 14 points. The sad thing is that I still don’t think Penn State can beat the spread.

Prove me wrong, guys! #SHOCKtheWORLD

34 Hours to Kickoff

Posted on Written by

As PSU-Alabama H-Hour approaches, I thought I would pass along some relevant stuff that came my way.

First, a Facebook status posted by my local PSU Alumni Association chapter president a she sat on her flight toward Tuscaloosa:

Lee Corso is on my flight. Why is his carry-on baggage a big ole ugly elephant’s head???

Everyone knows that Corso is going to put that elephant head on at high noon tomorrow on ESPN College Gameday. Well, now they do, anyway. Gameday will be broadcast from Tuscaloosa on Saturday morning starting at 9 AM on ESPNU, then shifting to ESPN at 10 AM.

Meanwhile, I got this tweet from Rob Bolden:

rbolden1 First time actually watching jersey shore. #wow

There was a big NFL game last night, plus a good SEC battle between Auburn and Mississippi State. Yet Bolden would rather watch Jersey Shore. There’s a story in there somewhere. Perhaps, this is Rob’s relaxation before a big game—stay away from football? LOL

I know I’ve been pessimistic about Penn State’s chances in the game, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not hoping that the Nittany Lions will shock the football world and pull off a miracle tomorrow night. Go Lions!

Day of Reckoning

Posted on Written by

Dum de dum dum!

The #18 Nittany Lions travel to Tuscaloosa to face off with the #1 Crimson Tide Saturday in a 7 PM nationally televised game we’ve all been looking forward to for years. Oh, yes yes yes, finally a non-conference game with a worthy opponent! (As if the likes of Oregon State are not worthy.) So many Penn Staters are out there licking their chops for this one. The clock cannot move fast enough between now and Saturday night.

Why, then, do I have this somewhat sinking feeling of anticlimactitude?

Because I’m the Nittany Turkey, and don’t you forget it!

In Cosellian terminology, this writer tells it like it is. If you can’t take the heat, then get the hell out of the kitchen. We call a spade a spade here, and we’ve got a whole deck of them. If they were tarot cards, they would all be the Hierophant.

What the hell is he talking about?

I’m saying that this is going to be a beat-down, and it’s going to be a bad one. Those of you who are looking for a miracle season, please bring your barf bags. It ends here. (But you perennial optimists will say that the Nittany Lions can still compete for the Still Somewhat Mythical National Championship (SSMNC) with an 11-1 record. Hahahhahhahaha.) Those of you who, like this Turkey, have more reasonable expectations—I predicted a 7-5 year and an appearance at the Toilet Bowl in Kohler, Wisconsin—will be able to sit back and enjoy the show. View it as an opportunity to see how much strength of character your team has while going down in flames. View it as an opportunity to home in on all the weaknesses of the offensive, defensive, and special squads. View it as an all-out mind battle between focused and astute coaching staffs. View it as a learning experience. View it as anything but a victory. Because it won’t be, not by a longshot.

But that’s why they play the game, right?

Yeah, sure. That’s why Temple comes to Beaver Stadium every year. Just in case the Nittany Lions forget to show up, they’re ready to claim the victory. Otherwise, they’ll claim their fat paycheck and go home happy.

This is not to suggest that PSU is going to Tuscaloosa for the paycheck. No, I’m just saying they’ve got about as much chance of winning as Temple has against them. They’ll play their asses off. They’ll still lose.

“I do my ivory hunting down south,
because in Alabama, the Tuscaloosa.”
–Groucho Marx

I looked at a breakdown in Blue-White Illustrated. They gave the advantage to the Tide in all categories except special teams, where it was a toss-up. That’s pretty much the way I feel about it, except that the special teams haven’t yet played under such adverse circumstances as they’ll face in Tuscaloosa. It would be great to see Chaz Powell running back a few kickoffs for 100 yards, as unlikely as that seems, although the more kickoffs he fields, the more chances there’ll be (and I get the feeling that PSU will be fielding a lot of kickoffs). Anthony Fera, by the way, has punted exactly once in his college career, a 45-yarder against incompetent Youngstown State. He’ll have quite a few more opportunities to punt on Saturday, and his coverage unit better be good.

So, the chances of winning are slim and none. However, just in case I’ve driven you to the brink of buying a ticket to San Francisco so you can jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, here’s a nice post by an optimist, Bill Kline of the Nittany Line, giving us five ways the Nittany Lions can win. Read it and come back for more pessimism from me—or stay there until you stop laughing, if you want. Come back next week and we’ll get serious about Kent State, if you’ve had all the Turkey you can take for this week. Anyhow, here’s my armchair analysis. [Read more…]