The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Whither Goeth Thine Lions?

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We’ll start with the basic facts of the day. The Nittany Lions stank up the place on Saturday, losing ugly to an opponent they had dominated for time immemorial. Penn State (3-3, 0-2 Big Ten) was defeated on its home field by the formerly inconsequential Illini of Illinois (3-2, 1-1 Big Ten) by the score of 33-13.

“So, while I’m not calling for Paterno to be fired, I am hoping that he, with the support of his family, comes to the conclusion that it is time to hang up those black football shoes once and for all.” —TNT

Were it not for a couple of fumbled punt returns by Illinois, the difference could have easily been 30 points instead of 20, a massacre of epic proportions. At season’s onset none of the pundits gave even a fleeting thought to anything but a Penn State win in this game. Most figured on a blowout going the Lions’ way. To be fair, they had no way of knowing that the PSU defense would be decimated by injuries and suspensions, but they were well aware that the offense would be shaky because of major changes in the offensive line plus a new quarterback. In any case, this contest was an afterthought in everybody’s season predictions. After all, it was at Beaver Stadium, and Penn State was 6-0 against Illinois at home.

That made it all the worse. The offense sucked. The defense sucked. The attitude sucked. The effort sucked. I don’t know what they were playing out there, but it wasn’t recognizable as football, which is supposed to be a hard-hitting, balls-to-the-wall at all times, rock ’em, sock ’em contact sport.

Seven first downs all day. That’s the second worst ever during the Paterno era. (The worst was in that classic of all classics, the 2004 loss to Iowa by the baseball score of 6-4. See my story entitled “No Offense, but…“.) Beatings like this might be acceptable coming from Ohio State occasionally, but now we’ve given Ron Zook a cause for hope where there is none. He’ll take his Illini to East Lansing next weekend where the Spartans will knock the crap out of them. Sorry, Ron, but beating Penn State this year is no cause for elation. Join the crowd.

In the Cave, we were incredulous over offensive ineptitude evidencing itself on so many plays. Defensive sequences provided no relief, as we observed missed tackle after missed tackle, out of position defenders with thumbs up their asses, and no feeling of fire or urgency in the body language. This turkey had had enough at 7-3. I knew the outcome would be bad, just from the way that played out. Another red zone failure for the Lions and an easy touchdown for the Illini. I saw that sampled sequence being rubber stamped over the rest of the scorecard. You don’t trade touchdowns for field goals and win. Clearly, Penn State was not moving the ball well, and was still stalling inside the 20, while the defense was allowing Illinois to control the ball.

Meanwhile, as I cleverly predicted, LeShoure was racking up 120 yards for Illinois, which was almost double the total rushing output for Penn State. The Illini racked up 200 more total yards than the Lions. The running game was once again not in evidence for the Lions, but it wasn’t employed very much in the second half as PSU was playing catch up. Still, in the first half, Royster managed only 3.2 yards per carry, and the other PSU backs were about the same. It only got worse as the game rolled along.  The Nittany Lions converted only 2 of 14 third downs and 1 of three fourth downs. By and large, they took care of the ball, though, with the only turnover being an extremely ugly and ill conceived swing pass by Rob Bolden, which was tipped and intercepted at the Lions’ 16 by Nate Bussey, who ran it in for the TD. Ouch!

Bolden’s shining moment was an 80 yard touchdown pass to Derek Moye on the very next play from scrimmage. Nothing intricate about it. Bolden ran a naked bootleg right, which gave Moye time to get down field on a fly pattern. Bolden reared back and threw it as far as he could Although Moye had to hitch a step to wait for it, he had beaten his defender by a good ten yards and could cake walk it into the end zone. That made it 14-10 Illinois, which gave us fleeting hope, but that was as close as Penn State would get.  Moye was the offensive player of the game, such as it was, with three receptions for 106 yards and a touchdown. Bolden’s throws were erratic, his greenness more in evidence than at any other time this year. He was 8-21 for 142 yards with one TD and one INT. Of the 142 yards, 80 were on the touchdown pass to Moye.

So, what the hell is wrong with this team? Well, first of all, it is not one of the more talented teams Penn State has put on a field. Worse, in the aggregate it seems distracted and unmotivated. I’ve been harping on the noticeable absence of leadership throughout the first half of the season. Now, that leadership vacuum has put the boys in dire straits. Even if talent is lacking, a modicum of motivation and desire would enable this group to play beyond its limitations. However, that motivation is not evident in the slightest. I see the signs of internal dissent—dissent among players about whether they’re being coached properly, for one. A players-only team meeting last week seemed to do little to ameliorate the apathetic morass.

I bore that team psyche in mind when I penned my pre-game comments. I posited, “My position is that if they lose this game to Illinois, their fragile, young, leaderless little egos will take a severe hit that will lead to a putrid end result.” It appears as if that is where we are headed now, sadly. Even I, the ever cynical Nittany Turkey, did not expect a drubbing as bad as that exacted upon the Lions by Illinois. Perhaps I was into wishful thinking when I forecast a PSU victory, albeit one that didn’t beat the spread. I did not know about all the injuries at the time, but still, I thought it was a winnable game even if the second team was on the field. Now that I know how bad Penn State really is—and in his post-game presser, Paterno stated that they were getting worse instead of better—I won’t be forecasting many wins.

At season’s outset, I thought I was being reasonable in predicting a 7-5 record. Most pundits were pulling 9-3 out of their asses. A few had four losses. There was but one, David Jones of the Patriot-News, who predicted 6-6. Now, it seems that Jones be da man. His prediction might even be generous. Is a losing record possible? Certainly.

Whither from here? As Joe said, they’re getting worse. This team has a “Dark Days” feel to it. I hope we’re not headed there, but now all of a sudden the preponderance of press the Lions are getting mention that the return to 2000-2004 doldrums as a strong possibility. What I know is this: there is no redemption for this season. As I’ve written, it might even end up worse than Jones’ prediction, which would be a losing record. Every game is in doubt from here on. A loss to Ohio State is assured. Michigan and Michigan State now appear to be potential losses. There you go with six losses. If the Nittany Lionettes should drop just one of the trio of Indiana, Minnesota, and Northwestern, it’ll be a losing season and no bowl game. Even lowly Indiana is putting lots of points on the scoreboard this year against teams with pitiful defenses like Penn State. I think if you’re conservative, you might want to change your holiday plans right now. Forget football in Florida or even Detroit.

I suppose you can look forward to more experimentation with players and positions, but that provides only minuscule relief from the miasma and stench of this season. The time for farting around with lineups has long passed. Experimentation is for practice; this “earn while you learn” program ain’t gonna cut it. These are not “adjustments”; they’re desperation stabs at putting a viable team together. Nevertheless, I don’t believe there is any salvation this year, no matter how the pieces are jockeyed around.

Must Joe Go?

So, we now have to address the delicate topic of “Joe Must Go!”, a discontented war whoop of those who expect better from the Penn State football team and blame head coach Joe Paterno for its failings. This segment of fandom generally hibernates when things are looking good, but they pop up very quickly when so much as a three-loss season occurs. The other side of the debate is that Paterno has given his life to Penn State and is responsible for a lot of its success on the field as well as the success in life of countless thousands of players who have passed through the system. But that is unimportant to Joe’s detractors. I expect a lot of “FireJoePaterno.com” type websites to be popping up very soon.

Six years ago, the Dark Years’ withering effect on me put me in the “Joe Must Go” camp. (See “Joe Must Go!“) Now, I’m not so sure I want him given the bum’s rush. Perhaps the six years have mellowed out this turkey. I dunno. I’m now thinking that Joe should go on his own terms. However, I also feel that if he does not choose to exit after this season, things could get very ugly and he would be doing himself a disservice. You all know what happened to Bobby Bowden. When public sentiment turns against a head football coach, it doesn’t seem to matter how much of himself he has given the team and the university, just what he has accomplished in the past couple of seasons. Fans and boosters have short memories. They want success every year and their definition of success is very stringent.

There is nothing left for Joe to prove. Two national championships, several unbeaten seasons, and close to 400 wins, a record that will probably never be broken. A lifetime of devotion to Penn State and what it stands for, and a philosophy that has improved college football as a whole have created a legend that will not go away. He has won the battle for most wins (unless someone hires octogenarian Bobby Bowden out of retirement). Should he stay around to get his 400th win? Why? It’s just a number.

So, while I’m not calling for Paterno to be fired, I am hoping that he, with the support of his family, comes to the conclusion that it is time to hang up those black football shoes once and for all. It is clear that many of the coaching concepts employed by the Nittany Lions are antiquated and inbred; it is equally clear that a  breath of new life is needed at the top to clean house and fix whatever is broken. As an elder statesman representing the university, Joe can still keep himself busy and serve the university very well by doing fund raising. His legendary status will not fade during his lifetime. I do not want to see his legacy tarnished as was Bowden’s when he was forced out.

Paterno’s slouching body language at yesterday’s post-game press conference spoke of weariness and exasperation. He looked defeated. Perhaps he even realized that rebuilding a team with as little to work with at this group of players is a job for a much younger man.

Next week, a bye week, and then Minnesota. Perhaps we’ll find out what is happening with Stanley and Thomas in the interim. I’ll be back with my opinions and predictions as we move along.

Alumni Trick or Treat?

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Homecoming at Penn State should be a treat for the alumni. However, the way the Nittany Lions have been playing thus far this year, one has to wonder whether they will be humiliated on their home field, leaving with egg on their face and t.p. in their trees. Will the coach and four turn into a pumpkin and rats at high noon? Or will the boys get things back ungetrackt? We’ll see. Trick or treat? (I know, I know, it’s too early for the Hallowe’en metaphor, but work with me here, folks!)

On Saturday, the Fighting Illini (2-2, 0-1 Big Ten) face the Nittany Lions (3-2, 0-1). Illinois is coming off a home loss to Ohio State, 24-13. Of course, as you know unless you’ve been in Underwater Demolition Team training for the past week or two, Penn State lost to Iowa, 24-3.

“However, if these guys should happen to stop believing that they can win and they actually do lose to Illinois, it sets the stage for a season record no better than a barely bowl eligible 6-6.” —TNT

“Trick or treat?” is not the only question that needs to be answered about these Nittany Lions. As yet, they have not coalesced into a characterizable entity. We know where they are weak, which is to varying degrees everywhere but kicking field goals. We know they have some talented individuals, although not as talented as many prior teams. We know that they lack leadership, which is why they are playing like a collection of modestly talented individuals instead of a whole that exceeds the sum of its parts.

Many Chicken Littles out there are writing this game off as a loss. It is tempting to say that the thus far impotent Penn State offense will not improve beyond the red zone ineptitude we’ve seen from it thus far. It is further tempting to say that the mediocre defensive front seven will continue to be tentative and semi-ineffectual for the rest of the season, giving up a few touchdowns per game.

Well, this turkey is not a chicken. The sky isn’t falling. Some years PSU fields good teams; some years they’re mediocre. This team is the latter. That doesn’t mean they are going to necessarily lose the rest of their games. They’re good enough to beat the Hoosiers, anyhow. My position is that if they lose this game to Illinois, their fragile, young, leaderless little egos will take a severe hit that will lead to a putrid end result. At the moment, I’m counting this game as a snap-back win when I predict the ultimate 2010 regular season record to be 7-5. I’m anticipating losses to Ohio State, Michigan, and Michigan State. However, if these guys should happen to stop believing that they can win and they actually do lose to Illinois, it sets the stage for a season record no better than a barely bowl eligible 6-6. A loss to Northwestern or Minnesota would drop that to 5-7. Aaaaargh! They have to win this game!

On paper, both resemble middle of the pack Big Ten squads who will lose to the upper echelon teams and will beat the dead meat. What we have here is a big battle of the mediocre, with the big advantage going to Penn State for playing on its home field. When you peruse the various blogs, zines, message boards, newspaper sites, and bar rooms, you’ll find that even Penn State partisans are split as to which team wins the trophy for this game, a highly desirable paint-by-the-numbers velvet painting of Ron Zook shaking hands with Joe Paterno at mid-field, painted by Chief Illiniwek himself at the Peoria Nation Assisted Living Centre for Tribal Elders in Happy Hunting Ground, OK.

It is certainly conceivable that the Penn State running game could get back in gear against the young Illini defense. This turkey would love to see some more creative opening up of the passing attack, too. On the other hand, the Penn State defense is mediocre, which Illinois’ Mikel LeShoure can exploit with a 100 yard game. The second leading rusher is quarterback Nathan Scheelhaase, who tends to look briefly for passing targets and then take off running. However, the Illinois pass offense is hampered by Scheelhaase, as well as a dearth of talented wide receivers. Their tight end situation is sad, too. Our linebackers won’t be severely taxed in pass coverage, which is a break for them because they pretty much suck at it. The secondary isn’t all that good and it has suffered significant attrition with the benching of Derrick Thomas for godknowswhat. They could give up a couple of long plays if they have their heads up their asses.

(You know how much I love that great Sandusky legacy, the soft zone. It might be necessary for this collection of mediocre DBs, but someday—SOMEDAY!—I’d like to see a more aggressive pass defense, damnit!)

The Nittany Lions must get off to a good start and avoid playing catch-up. So far, they haven’t shown that they can, unless we’re talking about Kent State. I don’t want to talk about Kent State. They also must capitalize on more of their trips to the red zone than not, and get six points, not three, more often than not. Wishful thinking? You bet!

Weather will not be a factor in this game. The forecast is “sunny and delightful” with a high of 70. Damn, don’t I wish I were there. Being a noon start, the student section at Beaver Stadium will be slow to fill up, but I hope to hell it does fill up. I tend to be an embarrassed turkey when the students stay home sleeping off their hangovers.

I think I’ll wrap this up now with the moment you’ve all been awaiting with bated anticipation: the Official Turkey Poop Prediction! But first, let me just say that those of you who attend homecoming will have a great treat in store as you drive through the Pennsylvania mountains in their fall splendor. I wish I were there. But I digress. Gambling lines favor Penn State by 8 with an over/under of 42. This suggests a final score of 25-17. I’m counting on catching the Illini napping with an early TD and I’m also counting on Collin Wagner to make three of four field goals. Add one late touchdown to that and we’ll be right about where I want to be. Take the “under” and take the Illini+8. Penn State 23, Illinois 16.

Deep Trouble for Stanley, Thomas

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The most telling thing in Joe Paterno’s press conference today was not what he said, but what he did not say on the subject of the players who were held back in State College while the team traveled to Iowa, to wit:

Q. Could you update us on the status of (Sean) Stanley and (Derrick) Thomas, two of the kids who didn’t play last week, didn’t make the trip? ????? ?????

COACH PATERNO: I’m not allowed to talk about that. We’ve been I’m telling you, we were told that we’re breaking the law if we talk about it.

If any kid is in any way not allowed to play for one reason or another, we have a long letter from the university administration not to discuss it.

But Joe is pretty open about players who have grade issues and the like. He wasn’t being completely truthful when he said “if a kid is in any way not allowed to play for one reason or another” [emphasis mine] he is not allowed to discuss it. For example, Brandon Ware was grounded in the doghouse last weekend as well, but Joe gave a specific reason:

Q. Is (Brandon) Ware in the same boat?

COACH PATERNO: Ware is in the same boat except I can say that Ware has had academic problems.

Q. Are you at the point where you’re about ready to give up on Ware? ????? ???? ????

COACH PATERNO: Well, until he does a better job academically. He’s here to get an education.

So, Ware is in the same boat, but with academic problems. This Turkey can conceive of only two reasons players would be remanded to that floating doghouse, the S. S. Shitouttaluck: grades and legal issues. Thus, it is reasonable to deduce that Thomas and Stanley are in deep legal doodoo.

Said doodoo can run the gamut of law-breaking, I suppose. I would have to believe that if they were arrested for any reason, it would be a matter of public record and word would have already gotten out through the local rags. You can’t keep that stuff quiet in State College. Even the Nittany Lion being arrested for public drunkenness was splashed all over the place the next day.

This one is really tight-assed, stone cold slammed shut. It must be something big. The decision to sit these guys didn’t come from Paterno, as it does when the matter is just bad grades. No arrest records have been unearthed. What the hell could it be?

In another obvious press conference omission, nobody asked Paterno about “the punt”. (For those who were getting laid during the Iowa game, I mean the decision to punt from the PSU 46 on 4th and 6 trailing 17-3 with less than five minutes remaining.)  Come on! This represents a serious abrogation of responsibility by the media. Did no one in the room or on the phone have the balls to ask Joe about the controversial call? Surely, it was one of the two dumbass sideline issues that stuck out in the Iowa game, the other being the timeout vs. spike at the end of the first half.  He did address that latter issue.

Q. I know you said after the game about the spike, taking three seconds, that seemed like it was a fast three seconds. But it looked like you initially wanted a timeout first. Could you review that?

COACH PATERNO: I wanted a timeout and the guy didn’t give it to me. He said because it was a penalty involved he said he didn’t think he wanted a timeout. I said, “what are you talking about, I told you I wanted a timeout.” I tried to call the timeout as soon as the ball was located. And they started the clock, the wrong guy started the clock. The guy that places the ball should start the clock.

You know, we’ll get the blame. But that’s fine. We handled it all right. We knew what we were doing. We got some other people that didn’t know what they were doing. And they’re not on our team.

Paterno also talked about the red zone issues without mentioning any specific names. ??? ????? ????? He (kinda) explains why coaches favor the run over the pass in the red zone.

Q. Joe, the problem in the red zone, couple of players said there’s problems, confusion getting plays down there. Have there been problems with your team getting plays down on the field or letting the clock run down?

COACH PATERNO: The clock ran down on Saturday. That was not I won’t get into whose fault that was. That certainly wasn’t one of the coach’s faults or our players. Again, I hate to point the finger to anybody, so we’ll leave that go.

But I don’t know whether that’s accurate. It may be. I don’t think so. I think part of our problem, again, is making some plays and we have to make them. And when you’re not running (the ball) as well as we’d like to run, the closer you get to the goal line, the tougher it is to throw.

They start…they don’t have to back up 30 yards. They squeeze you up and back on you. They play short stuff better. So it’s a combination of things. And I don’t mean to make excuses, because I don’t think we’ve done a good enough job in a lot of different ways.

But I think down on the goal line and in the red zone, we know what the problem is. The problem is we can’t just take it and knock people back, particularly against a couple of teams that particularly Iowa is you guys may not recognize it, Iowa, that was one tough football game, physically. It was a tough football game physically.

Iowa is one heck of a defensive football team, particularly against the run.

On to Illinois. Let’s put Iowa behind us.