The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Real Change You Can Believe In

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Washington, D.C. is in the throes of change.

No, not by the White House. That appears to be business as usual, if not more so. This change is coming from a branch of the Native American lobby, specifically, that tribe known as the Washington Redskins. ????????

This Turkey, sometimes called Machakw, the Native American name by which he is known in the Fakawi Nation, has learned that the Redskins have offered a $3 million payoff, not to a federal official, but instead, to a state university in one of the frontier states of the rapidly expanding Ohio River Valley, namely Indiana University.

What the hell does this have to do with Penn State football, you ask? ??? ????? ?? ??? ???????

Vell, I’ll tellya (spoken in the accent of the Fakawis, otherwise known as the Lost Tribe) — the payoff was on the condition that Indiana University’s home football game with Penn State be played on the Redskins’ home turf. Now, $3 million is an offer that no self-respecting university is going to ever turn down, no matter what kind of strings are attached. The only string attached was that IU had to sell at least 7,000 tickets to this “home” game. ????? ???? ???? ?????? That should be no problem, given the drawing power of their opponent, the mighty Nittany Lions. Therefore, it is with complete certainty that Machakw tell readers that the November 20, 2010 game will be played at FedEx field in Landover, Maryland.

This has the effect of transforming the contest into a home game for PSU fans, due to the proximity of the new venue, as well as the tacit party appeal of the D.C. metro area. The stadium, which holds about 90,000, will be awash in blue and white.

Machakw know you want to know why his Fakawi tribe also known as Lost Tribe. That’s because when you encounter our tribe, the first thing we say is, “We’re da Fakawi.”

Fathead to Produce Beaver Stadium Wall Hangies

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Fathead released its fall catalog, which will include three college football stadiums, including Beaver Stadium. The others are Notre Dame Stadium and Ohio Stadium (“The Horseshoe”). So, if you miss the big Beave, you can have it right there on your wall.

Hatch Says BCS Violates Antitrust Laws

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This is the story of the week, as far as this Turkey is concerned, so I’ll continue to beat it to death. I think Senator Orrin Hatch (R, Utah) has finally flipped his sparsely populated wig. He’s been the driving force behind this weeks Senate subcommittee on antitrust, competition policy and consumer rights hearings on the subject of Bowl Championship Series fairness. Appropriately, Hatch has been the only member to have attended all the sessions from beginning to end.

Hatch believes that the system of assigning bowl games and determining the national champion is unfair — not because it leaves the true national championship issue in doubt, but because of the inequity he and other fairness advocates perceive in the way the BCS tacitly allocates money. Of course, the University of Utah is one of those institutions being slighted by the BCS, thus the particular interest by the school’s home state’s U.S. Senator.

“You have 50 percent of the schools who are the elite schools. They get almost all of the money, and the other schools, no matter how good they are, don’t even have a chance to compete for the national title,” said Hatch.

Interestingly enough, Hatch’s comments came a day after BCS officials rejected a proposal by the Mountain West Conference (Utah’s conference) that would replace the present system by an eight-team playoff. The Mountain West, having waged the fight for six months, capitulated. Following is an excerpt from the statement by the Mountain West:

The Mountain West believes it has no choice at this time but to sign the agreements. If a conference wishes to compete at the highest levels of college football, and the only postseason system in place for that is the BCS, no one conference can afford to drop out and penalize its football programs and student-athletes.

Of course, if the Mountain West hadn’t agreed, they would have been cut out of more than the national championship picture. They would have lost the ESPN television revenue as well. Their capitulation means that they’ll lay low for the next four years.

Meanwhile, Hatch is not giving up. He continues to amp up the rhetoric, calling for antitrust proceedings by the Department of Justice.

“I think there are definite antitrust laws being broken here, and we should do something about it,” said the senator.

But the DOJ hasn’t really been doing much trust-busting lately, and furthermore, they and Congress would be subjecting themselves to public ridicule for pursuing something as frivolous as fairness in sports when they have much bigger fish to fry.

As for this Turkey and other Penn State fans, well, hell — we’re already in that 50 percent that Hatch mentioned, so best to leave sleeping dogs lie.

Now, as to the issue of fairness in deciding the national champ, that’s quite another thing.

Will the Nittany Lions have a shot at that championship this year? I have my doubts, mostly centering on the inexperienced receivers and the mostly new defensive secondary, but that’s another subject for another story for another day as we approach the sweet days of autumn.