Now we know why Nittany Lions running back Stephfon Green got into Joe Paterno’s doghouse, and why the team voted unanimously to allow him to come back.

The Centre Daily Times reported Thursday morning that Green was  charged Tuesday with purchasing alcohol for minors.  The incident in question occurred back in mid-July.

From the paper’s website:

According to the state police’s Bureau of Liquor Control Enforcement, Green, 22, was seen by an officer taking money from two minors at the state liquor store on North Atherton Street on July 15. Police said Green bought liquor with the money and gave the minors the liquor. Charges of furnishing alcohol to minors were filed on Tuesday, police said.

The Allentown Morning Call reports that a preliminary hearing has been scheduled for Oct. 12.

So, naturally, the team voted to bring him back. How many of them (and us) have been in the same position as Green? If he was stupid enough to get caught doing it, he deserves to pay for the crime. At least that’s how I’ve always felt when being nailed for speeding or other transgressions of my youth.

Now, this Turkey is well aware that Joe Paterno is fair about not assuming guilt before the “alleged suspect” [redundancy deliberate — I saw this journalistic CYA abomination published in our local rag and had to use it somewhere] is adjudged guilty, but in some cases the facts are clearer than others. This was no Austin Scott he said/she said with a psycho babe pressing charges. This one was witnessed by a cop. Yet Paterno feels that Green should be on the team. Why? Because the team wants him back? I doubt it. It can only be that Joe is pulling out all stops in preparation for the big game with Alabama this weekend.

Yeah, Paternoesque hypocrisy is in full bloom this weekend. In many other seasons, Paterno could make himself look less single-minded by sitting offenders down for three or four weeks — given that only crap games are usually scheduled early these days. Alas, Alabama was scheduled for Week Two and Paterno wants to win. Thus, he cleaned out his infamous doghouse, exonerating those who had been ensconced there.

In addition to Green, the inmates who are now on work release for the Alabama game include punter/kicker-offer Anthony Fera who was nailed for underage drinking. (Hell, he might have been one of Green’s best customers for all I know). Cover corner Derrick Thomas, about whom blogger Bill Engel says Thomas spent his first two years chasing his own tail (which I think should have read “spent his first two years chasing tail”), is the third releasee.

Green can certainly help pick up the blitz on third down passing plays, a function that sucked big time last week against Indiana State, who made a simple adjustment on defense for which, like so many other, similar situations we’ve witnessed, Penn State had no answer. Clearly, this offensive line doesn’t have enough experience (to be kind) to handle a stunting, blitzing pass rush. Alabama will chew them up and spit them out. So, Green was an essential add-on, although he got pine splinters in his ass last weekend.

Fera is another obvious need. He’s not all that great a punter or kickoff man, but last week’s atrocities make him look like Lou Groza. (If you’re not old enough to know who Lou Groza is, then good for you. Figure it out.) I wonder whether he might be pressed into service for field goals, too, which will be excruciatingly important in a close game (if you expect this game to be close). Last week’s suckage extended to missed field goals, easy ones at that.

So, the next question is whether all will be forgiven after the Alabama game if it is not a win. Will these doghousians get to play Temple or Eastern Michigan?

I’ll be back soon with my most important post of the year, my preview of the great, big, hairy, old Alabama game. If I succeed in predicting this one, I’ll go into Temple overconfident. If I suck at predicting it, then the season is over. (Just kidding. I was mocking what some silly fans and pundits are saying about Penn State winning or losing this game.)