The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Gators Feast on Bumbling Lions

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The Outback Bowl, pitting Florida against Penn State, should have been a much closer game instead of the way it turned out with the Gators winning going away. The final score was 37-24, in favor of Florida.

Two mediocre teams with identical records who seldom play each other being brought together on a sunny Saturday afternoon in Tampa, where the Florida fans outnumber the Penn State fans, portended great football viewing for aficionados of both teams. For Penn State fans it turned out to be a debacle in which the Gators were able to capitalize on scads of unforced errors by the Nittany Lions, giving their outgoing coach a final victory under the Florida sun.

After the game, the other side of the coaching story, Joseph “I ain’t going nowhere” Paterno, lavished praise upon praise on Urban Meyer, whom he calls “Son.” Did Meyer outcoach Paterno? No, as usual, Paterno outcoached himself. Meyer coached a fine game, as one would expect from a two-time national champ. However, in the end it would turn out that he had few decisions to make as Penn State kept handing him the ball in places from which even the McCabe sisters could have scored. So nice of JoePa to give Pope Urban such a wonderful going away gift! (It was Paterno, in describing his affection for Urban Meyer, who said, “He must be Catholic. He’s named after a Pope!”)

I’m blaming Joe because I cannot blame the whole team. However, I can mention some significant sources of suckage on the team.

The first is obvious. Matt McGloin set the individual record for most interceptions in a game by a Penn State quarterback with five picks. That number, though, doesn’t fully describe what anyone watching the game saw, as McGloin could have been intercepted two or three more times. Throw enough crappy passes and eventually you’ve got to be intercepted. It’s just a matter of time. Paterno is somewhat complicit here, too. The press box coaching brain trust (son JayPa and Galen Hall) wanted to bring in Rob Bolden after McGloin screwed up a few times, but stubborn ol’ Joe, who later said that McGloin played a good game although he wasn’t happy with the interceptions, nixed the substitution. It was obvious to fans who were watching on TV that Joe and McQueary were arguing about something leading up to Paterno putting on the stubborn face and walking away. We don’t know if Bolden would have done any better in there, but hell, a change was called for. In hockey, they realize that a goalie gets shell-shocked if the opposition scores a few quick goals on him, and they put in a new goalie. It doesn’t matter if the guy being replaced is all-time legend Martin Brodeur. He gets replaced. Same thing in baseball. Some days a pitcher has it and some days he doesn’t. On this day clearly there was something wrong with McGloin. He was not merely throwing poorly. His mind was messed up. His judgment was clouded. A couple of the interceptions were good defensive plays. The rest were throws McGloin seemed to be directing to the guys in white. Yes, it was that bad. Whenever McGloin did that naked bootleg right, I cringed. Paterno left him in there far too long, so he is culpable, too.

The second source of suckage was Justin Brown. Dropping three catchable passes during this game was just plain putrid. McGloin should have automatically checked down from Brown on plays where he was the primary receiver. Well, that’s an easy “shoulda” — McGloin had faith in his receivers to do their job and I really can’t fault him for expecting the kid to catch the ball. However, something was wrong there and it was up to McQueary and the Brain Trust to substitute for Brown, who obviously was not having his day.

Finally, it was obvious that the defense has improved little from September. They were missing tackles then and they’re still missing tackles now. Colisanti always seemed to be somewhere aside from where the play was going. When you give a reasonably good offensive team like Florida a short field to operate on, you better have a decent defense. This defense is indecent.

I should mention the punt block in the second quarter, too. Florida loaded up the line of scrimmage on that play, which should have caused a few people on the Penn State side to think that perhaps they were going for the block. Yet, when Solomon Patton came charging past the left end of the PSU line, Chaz Powell, who was lined up on that end took off downfield and didn’t even wave at Patton on his way by. Maybe a chip or some kind of engagement might have slowed him down just enough.  Chaz didn’t play much in this game, and rumor has it that he is in Paterno’s doghouse for some reason or another yet to be determined. As it went, Lerentee McCray recovered the blocked punt and ran it 27 yards for a Gator touchdown.

What I wrote about the defense — that there has been little improvement since September — applies to most of the rest of the team except for, surprisingly, the offensive line, where we have seen considerable improvement. They did their job. McGloin had time to throw (whatever the hell he was throwing was not their fault) and Royster had the space he needed to run for 98 yards. It was important to establish the run in this game, and kudos to Royster and the O-line for making that happen, albeit sadly, in a losing effort.

The Gators played a good, but not great game, as they sat back and watched their opponents commit fatal error after fatal error. They had plenty of reserve in the tank, just in case they needed it in the closing moments, whereas Penn State’s defense looked gassed.

Back to the damn interceptions, which will stick with this Turkey for a long time, they were: returned 49 yards to the PSU 15; caught at the PSU 15 for no gain; returned 14 yards to the PSU 25; returned 80 yards for a touchdown; and caught and downed at the Florida 5. So, in the case of the first three picks our boy McGloin gave the Gators excellent field position, which resulted in two touchdowns and one ball fortunately fumbled back to PSU. Add in the pick-six and you have three touchdowns due to interceptions. The margin of victory was only 13 points. Including the punt block returned for a TD, Florida’s defense accounted directly and indirectly for 28 points. Give a great big assist to Matt McGloin. His name should appear on both sides of the box score.

McGloin wound up 17-41 for 211 yards, with one touchdown and five (gulp!) interceptions. He also had one rushing touchdown, on one of those right rollouts in which he thought better of throwing the ball away and tucked it in hell bent for the pylon. (Never mind that Kevin Haplea was standing there all alone in the back of the end zone — I guess Little Red didn’t want to chance an interception.) His leading receiver was Derek Moye, with 5 catches for 79 yards and a TD.  Evan Royster, who had 149 all-purpose yards, added four catches for 51 yards.

Well, I guess there’s not much more to say about this game. With potential renewed interest in Tom Bradley by the powers that be in Pittsburgh,  with a possible interview for him at UConn, and with Rob Bolden and Kevin Newsome looking to transfer out of the program, there’ll be enough good dirt to get our minds off this unfortunate defeat. A while back we had coaches seeking to leave the program like rats off a sinking ship. Now it’s players who are leaving. What gives? This will be an interesting off-season.

The Nittany Turkey wishes all of you a healthy, happy, and prosperous New Year!

Grilled Gator

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I realize that this is late in coming. Oh, the best laid plans of mice and men, as “they” say. I had a month to write this game preview and here I am writing it at eight hours prior to kickoff. Yes, thank you. I will accept that master procrastinator award at the next banquet. ???? ??????? Just let me know a few weeks in advance so I can scurry to prepare at the last possible minute.

It’s been a weird December for your Turkey, who is still under the weather. The only way to get over the weather would be in one of those neo-Soviet rockets they launch from Kazakhstan, which after the U.S. Space Shuttle program sunsets will be the only way for our astronauts to get to the International Space Station. Weird, I know, relying on the Russians for that kind of crucial stuff. But I digress. You didn’t really want to know about me, anyway.

This post is about the Outback Bowl on New Year’s Day in Tampa, where the Florida Gators (7-5, 4-4 SEC) will face our Penn State Nittany Lions (7-5, 4-4 Big Ten). When I first became aware of this matchup, I began to think that our guys would have a tough time matching up with UF; however, as time has transpired, I am believing more strongly in the Lions’ abilities to prepare for a big game with Joe Paterno still firmly in control. How can you think of betting against a guy who has more bowl wins than anyone else?

There are those SEC sycophants like war1man who feel that the SEC is infallible and will always beat teams of other conferences. I think Ohio State has done the Big Ten a lot of harm by allowing cheap shots like that based on their performance in SSMNC games. Be that as it may, it will please you to know that the SEC blather is all smokescreen in PSU’s case. Here is my response to the SEC superiority rant:

“… when you look back through the years when Penn State faced the SEC, it doesn’t go the way your revisionist approach to history said it did. Last time in the Outback Bowl (four years ago), Penn State beat Tennessee. Last time in the Capital One Bowl, Penn State beat LSU. I believe that both Tennessee and LSU are SEC teams. In fact, since 1991, Penn State is 6-2 in bowl games played against SEC opponents.”

So, enough holding Warren’s armpit to the fire. It stinks enough in here already. Suffice to say that Penn State does well against the SEC in bowl games, and Joe Paterno is still the guy I’d want to be cooking up the game plan.

By the way, even after denials from Sue Paterno and the Penn State administration, there are still wonks out there who swear that they have concrete, corroborated knowledge that the Outback Bowl will be Joe’s last game as a Penn State head coach. They always claim that they know someone who is a former player who is close to the administration or to the Paternos, or someone who dropped in from Mars and drilled into Paterno’s brain to get the truth. They’re still trying to create news. If they get it right, it’s a big scoop. If they don’t, well, everybody else was saying it. I won’t get involved in any of that crap right now. Maybe later, when there’s nothing else to write about. As for now, there’s a game to play.

So, if you look at the two teams’ records, they’re identical in every respect, so we have two teams which are essentially mediocre. Florida is so mediocre that they use three quarterbacks in some kind of cockamamie rotation to confuse the defense. Junior John Brantley, along with freshmen Jordan Reed and Trey Burton will probably see action. Apparently, there were five defenses that didn’t get very confused, namely, the five ranked teams that the Gators played, to whom the lost.

Meanwhile, Penn State against law buy antibiotics online solved its quarterback controversy, sorta, by making a change at mid-season, replacing Rob Bolden with Matt McGloin. The latter seemed to be a more accurate passer with more poise in the pocket. He is merely adequate, nothing more. Kevin Newsome did not make the trip to Tampa and is likely to transfer out of the program. 1xbet arabic Paul Jones was red-shirted.

Penn State also lost to all its ranked opponents.

Yep, two mediocre teams.

Florida is presently in a period of uncertainty with respect to recruiting and personnel in general. While their new head coach has been hired, along with a wide receiver coach and potentially as offensive coordinator, a fat guy who used to be the offensive coordinator for the New England Patriots, the head coach of Notre Dame, and is currently the offensive coordinator for the surprisingly retooled Kansas City Chiefs. However, outgoing coach Urban Meyer will still coach the Outback Bowl, albeit possibly without his defensive coordinator Teryl Austin, who spent recent time in the hospital with gastritis. This all leads to the question: Will the team strive for a victory for their departing coach, or will they beat their swords into plowshares and take it easy. (We all know that those who beat their swords into plowshares wind up being dominated by those who kept their swords.)

Looking at tweets on New Year’s Eve, I noted that most of the Lions seemed to be in bed before midnight, although a few longed to be out celebrating like their friends. Patience, guys. Your lives as a college football player last only so long.

Florida has five key injuries, which will hurt them on both sides of the ball. Florida will be without cornerback Janoris Jenkins in this game. Jenkins had surgery on his right shoulder recently, while right tackle Maurice Hurt (right knee) and defensive tackles Lawrence Marsh (right hip) and Terron Sanders (right shoulder) also will sit out.

The good news for Penn State is that Mike Mauti, who is the only linebacker who is a game changer, appears healthy and ready to play. The underperforming front seven will get a significant boost from Mauti.

This game might come down to special teams, where Florida has the edge. We don’t even know whether we’ll have a legitimate punter for this game, as Anthony Fera’s status is still unknown as I write this.

Penn State is 3-0 in Outback Bowls. Winning this one would give PSU four Outback wins, more than any other participating program. Meanwhile, the Gators are 1-2 in their Outback Bowl appearances.

While kickoff time is not the dreaded noon, which usually means the Nittany Lions come out flatter than the beer I left out for slug bait, it is close enough to create concerns along these lines. If they blow the first quarter in this game as they have in some other games this season, there’ll be no digging out of the hole they create for themselves. They’ve got to come out sharp, play good defense, and establish the run against a feisty, albeit wounded, Florida front four. There can be no siestas for the offense.

And now, for the last time this football season and for the first time in 2011, it is time for the Official Turkey Poop Prediction, Outback Bowl Edition. Gators are favored by a touchdown, with an over/under of 48. This suggests that the gamblers see a 27-20 win by Florida. Why, with identical records almost to the letter, do the wise guys think it will go Florida’s way? ???? ??? ?????? It’s the SEC superiority effect, which when one gets down to the mediocre middlin’ teams, doesn’t really mean much. That’s why this Turkey thinks the spread is an overlay and exhorts you to take Penn State and the points. Take the under. It’ll be Penn State 23, Florida 20.

Thank you all for paying attention and putting up with my Turkey foibles through 2010. I wish all of you and your families a very healthy, happy, and prosperous New Year!

And oh, yes, did I mention…

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…that Penn State will face the Florida Gators in the Outback Bowl in Tampa on January 1? Kickoff is at 1 pm, which is fortunately two hours later than the old 11 am kickoff of past years. Both teams were mediocre this year, sporting 7-5 records.

Yes, yes. Of course, you all know that by now. My purpose here is to be last on the scene, reporting news you already knew, but with an appropriately turkeyesque slant on it.

The Gators are obviously not Tim Tebow’s Gators, and the Lions are obviously not John Shaffer’s Lions. Hell, they’re not even Danny Wuerffel’s Gators and Darryl Clark’s Lions. So all bets are off.

Nevertheless, the Gators come into this game favored by a touchdown. Figures! Penn State tends to be the Rodney Dangerfield of the NCAA. ????? ??? ????? We ain’t ever gonna get no respect, I tellya.

I’ll be taking a look at this game as the next three weeks roll by, so don’t rush me. For now, a couple of anecdotes to keep you occupied while you’re deciding whether to click on my Google AdSense ads that have enriched the Turkey’s coffers by a grand total of $13.74. (And Google won’t cut me a check until it gets up to $100.)

First, you might or might not know that this Turkey lives in Central Florida, in a suburb of Orlando. That makes it easy for me to get to Florida bowl games, so I’ve been to quite a few. However, for whatever reason, I haven’t been to one of the Nittany Lions’ January 1 appearances here for quite a while. Missed the last Outback, Orange, and Capital One (nee Citrus).

The last Outback Bowl I attended was in 1999. I had pneumonia. Funny thing, I have pneumonia now. Don’t know how I got it this time, but back then I was commuting from Orlando to L.A., and I had thrown in a pre-New Year’s trip to England. By the time I got to Tampa, I was full of damn airplane germs. That didn’t stop the Nittany Lions, though, as they whipped a Tim Couch led overperforming bunch of Kentucky Wildcats 26-14. I went home to Orlando, called my client in L.A., and spent the next week in bed.

Prior to that, I had attended the 1996 edition with a lady friend who would get quite inebriated. She was an alumna of both Auburn (our opponent that day) and Alabama; we, of course, were seated smack dab in the middle of the Penn State section. As Ms. Auburn became quite loud during the game yelling for Auburn, I couldn’t control her mouth and I had to defuse a potential incident with the guys in front of us, who were annoyed as hell with her yelling and screaming. “She can cheer for whoever the hell she wants to cheer for!” I bravely asserted, tensing for the right haymaker that never came. “Yes, she can,” said one of the guys in front. You see, we’re Penn State fans and we’re polite. I was very happy when Ms. Auburn left to visit her son, an Auburn student who was sitting in the end zone way over there. She eventually returned, the long foot journey having sobered her up somewhat. However, that didn’t prevent her from spilling almost a full bottle of champagne in my Nissan Maxima after the game. By the way, Penn State beat Auburn 43-14.

The most recent occasion on which I attended a Penn State vs. Florida game was the 1998 Citrus Bowl, now called the Capital One Bowl. The Central Florida Chapter of the Penn State Alumni Association had a nice pre-game tailgate set up in one of the fields close to the stadium. I brought my neighbor, Marcos, with me to this interesting game and its pre-game festivities. His wife, Mary, prepared some chicken and some other goodies. In anticipation of the copious quantities of bloody mary mix provided by the chapter, I brought two bottles of Absolut Peppar vodka. Man, those bloody marys were good! ????? ??? ?????? Before I knew it, one bottle of vodka was done and the other one was half full. I think it was I who drank most of it. Everyone else was drinking beer. Well, booze has a delayed effect on me, so when it was close to game time, we headed for our seats. ???? ???? ??? ????? I promptly sat down and fell asleep. I briefly woke up at halftime when my roommate of the time, Keri, and her friend Susanne were getting up to leave so they could watch Susanne’s Wolverines in the Rose Bowl. I recall goosing each of them as they squeezed by my seat. Then, I fell asleep again.

That was the game for which Joe Jurevicius and Curtis Enis were suspended, so we didn’t do too well. In fact, neither did I. I vaguely remember the game ending and Marcos getting up to leave. I got up a bit unsteadily, took a step or two out into the aisle, and then my rubber joints gave way. I careened down about fifteen steps and crashed into the back of the exit ramp. Fortunately, I had overslept and our section had mostly emptied out by then. I was also fortunate that I was as loose as a rubber goose. Didn’t even have a bruise on me. Again quite fortunately, as it is not always the case, Marcos was relatively sober and able to drive. However, I recall that when we got out into the field where the tailgate had been, he found a chair to sit me down in for a while, I don’t remember how long, before he deemed me safe to be driven home. When I eventually sobered up, Keri described me as being as drunk as she’d ever seen a person—and she’s Irish.

Oh, the game. Well, as I said, we didn’t do too well. The Gators whipped the Nittany Lions 21-6.

I hope my stories have either entertained or disgusted you. Stay tuned for some further words about the forthcoming Outback Bowl as the month of December stretches on.