The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Mistakes’ll Kill Ya

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In a mistake-laden performance reminiscent of bad high school football, Penn State (4-1, 1-0 Big Ten) prevailed over Indiana (1-4, 0-1 Big Ten) 16-10.

The Nittany Lions’ performance flat out sucked, following a disgusting pattern that has long afflicted them in road games, particularly noon starts.

The team came out flat but managed to threaten early. Classic red zone ineptitude ensued. Rob Bolden threw what looked to be a touchdown pass from the eight yard line, but it was nullified by a holding penalty. So, this Turkey was thinking, they’ll probably wind up settling for three in the worst case. ??? ???? ????? ?? ???????? ?????? What happens? Bolden throws a damn interception in the end zone and State is denied the opportunity to draw first blood. That’s road game red zone ineptitude. Epic fail!

Indiana would draw first blood with a 49 yard field goal on the ensuing series. Midway through the second period, Penn State would come back to tie. Ho hum.

I was beginning to feel that my crystal ball was a bit off. Recall that I predicted a 35-20 game. This one was likely to finish 6-3, setting football back 100+ years to that first game between Princeton and Rutgers, which ended with a 6-4 score, which was the identical score to the Penn State-Iowa game that previously served as the prime example of Penn State retrofootball. But I digress. Although the Nittany Lions won, taking the “over” would have been a mistake, as the Las Vegas books were taking over/under action at 48. The final total was a mighty 26. However, as expected, PSU did not cover the spread. (What else is new?) No one ever went broke in the 21st Century betting against Penn State covering the spread.

The half wound up deadlocked at 3-3, as Anthony Fera missed a 52-yard field goal at the gun. Joe Paterno limped off the field and would spend the second half in the press booth. ??? ??????? If he gave the boys a chewing out in the locker room, it had no effect as they came out flat again in the second half. ????? ???????

They managed to squander an opportunity to get a quick six points on a Hoosier fumble at their own 13 yard line. Against a rushing defense ranked #97, you would think that Silas Redd could quickly hit paydirt. Well, for that, he would have to be given the ball. He wasn’t. Two crappily incomplete Bolden passes and a Bolden 3 yard run was all this low powered offense could muster. The Lions finally took a 6-3 lead on a 27-yarder by Anthony Fera.

After an IU three-and-out, Bolden rode the legs of Silas Redd and Curtis Dukes sown to the Indiana three yard line in the only sustained drive of the game thus far. Could this finally be an elusive touchdown? Nope. Redd fumbled the ball away at the Indiana 2. No points.

On the next Penn State series, Matt McGloin threw a 74 yard touchdown pass to Derek Moye, the only brilliant play of the game, which would give the Lions all the points they would need to win this slopfest. They added three for good measure at the onset of the fourth period on a 33 yard Fera field goal. The Hoosiers staged a comeback attempt and seemed like they might be able to actually accomplish it, scoring a touchdown with about four minutes remaining. They made one more try at the end of the game, managing to drive down to the PSU 40 and throwing a hail mary at the final gun, which failed. Final score, Penn State 16, Indiana 10.

Penn State was good enough to put twice as many points on the board against the worst defense in the Big Ten. They had 464 yards overall, which could have been many, many more had their two-headed quarterback been able to connect with receivers. This time, it was not the receivers’ fault. Both Bolden and McGloin seemed to be throwing at receivers’ feet. Together, they were 16-36 for 271 yards, one touchdown and one interception. In addition to the INT, Penn State lost two fumbles and were penalized five times for 60 yards. Mistakes’ll kill ya.

There is no winner in the quarterback competition. They both suck. The offensive line is truly offensive, in the deodorant commercial sense of the word. There is no fire, no animation in these guys on either side of the ball. Mauti’s loss was  a big one, as now, Drew Astorino is the only PSU defender who shows any emotion. It will truly suck to watch these clowns the rest of the year.

Silas Redd should be pissed off at his inept offensive line for making him have to do all the work. He could be seen frequently moving his own blockers’ bodies out of the way in order to gain some running room. As predicted by this Turkey, Redd had a breakout day, with 29 carries for 129 yards. Curtis Dukes ably handled the backup chores with 54 yards of his own.

Derek Moye led all Penn State receivers with six catches for 158 yards and a touchdown.

OK, now look, boys and girls. This Turkey is going to tell you something. This team sucks with a capital “S”. Given this performance and its portent for things to come, the road gets very rocky from now on. Without stretching things too much, I can see them going 1-6 from here out. If they can’t even handle fundamentals, I’m not even going to enjoy watching them. It’s been a long time since I’ve missed a Penn State game on television, other than to attend the game live, but I’ll miss at least one of the forthcoming games, because frankly, I have better ways of wasting my time.

I’ll be back later in the week to preview the loss to Iowa.

 

 

Bolden to Start (I Think)

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This just in: Several sources with deep hooks into the team have reported that Rob Bolden will start Saturday’s game for the Nittany Lions against the Indiana State Sycamores, and that Matt McGloin will also play. ????? ?????? ?????? Just so’s ya know.

Bob Flounders of the Patriot-News opines on this further.

Floundering Around in Mediocrity

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Bob Flounders of the good old Harrisburg Patriot-News wrote in today’s edition that Penn State is, at this point, a mediocre football program, as in fact it has been for several years.

Funny, this Turkey essentially wrote a similar piece back in November 2007. It was the end of the 2007 campaign and PSU had just lost to Moo U. The Nittany Lions wound up playing in the Valero Alamo Bowl that year. I think I fell asleep during the game. A mediocre bowl for a mediocre team having a mediocre year.

In that post I mentioned that aside from two anomalous years, 2002 and 2005, when some especially talented players were playing well, PSU hadn’t done much at all in the new millennium. Ironically, the following year they backed into the Rose Bowl, but they lost miserably to USC.

“It’s the five-year anniversary of the last time the Nittany Lions beat anyone worth a damn.”

Flounders asserts much the same. He leads in with the assertion that this weekend is the fifth anniversary of the last time Penn State beat anyone worthwhile. That was Ohio State, and no doubt you all remember that game. Some say it was the best game in recent history. Penn State 17, Ohio State 10 was the final score. (See my post back then, entitled “One for the Ages“).

The Buckeyes’ offense, a unit featuring future Heisman Trophy winner Troy Smith and future first-round picks Nick Mangold and Ted Ginn Jr., could do little against Paterno’s defense. The sellout crowd made it difficult for the visitors to hear – and execute – and when they did, they went nowhere fast against Paul Posluszny, Tamba Hali and the guys.

PSU’s offense was efficient enough, riding touchdowns from true freshman Derrick Williams and team captain Michael Robinson.

That Paterno team had heart and featured great leadership. It played with intensity.

Most important, it was loaded with talent.

Remember what we had going for us back then? Quite a few of those guys found themselves playing on Sundays after leaving Penn State. Ah, the memories.

How many NFL caliber players can you count on the present team? Where is the senior leadership? What kind of a bowl do you think this team will play in with a 7-5 or (gulp!) 6-6 record? And more important, what will the future hold, given that recruiting has not been so great? Once again, Flounders and I are on the same channel:

Looking for reasons why the Lions may not win more than seven games this season? Those are the big ones. Lack of talent and experience. Tell me how many future NFL players you see on the starting offense and defense.

Maybe a half-dozen or so? That might be stretching it. You can make a case for wideouts Derek Moye and Justin Brown, offensive lineman Stefen Wisniewski and freshman QB Rob Bolden. On defense, there’s linebacker Mike Mauti and possibly true freshman linebacker Khairi Fortt and a defensive back or two.

That’s it. That 2005 Paterno team had Robinson at quarterback, Posluszny and Connor at linebacker, Hali and Jay Alford on the defensive line, Levi Brown at offensive tackle, Tony Hunt in the backfield, Deon Butler and Williams at wideout and Calvin Lowry at safety.

And don’t forget about Alan Zemaitis – a Tampa Bay draft pick – at corner and the true freshman from western Pennsylvania, Sean Lee, who came to the rescue in the Orange Bowl when “Poz” hurt his knee. That Lion team was so good its special teams ace – gunner Ethan Kilmer – went to Cincinnati in the seventh round.

It’s going to be a long time before the Nittany Lions put a team like that on the field again. Flounders thinks so, too. It might be darkest before dawn, but I think we’re around midnight right about now.

Paterno and his players haven’t been able to duplicate that effort since. It’s been too long. And don’t look for it anytime soon. The Lions will lose to Big Ten power Ohio State in November and figure to struggle with the likes of Michigan, Northwestern, Michigan State and Saturday’s opponent, Illinois, at home.

Flounders and I are seriously on the same wavelength. The only future opponent he doesn’t mention in that litany is Indiana, which essentially got a $3 million payoff to play in our backyard at FedEx Field instead of their home field on November 20. Still, if Michigan will be a potential struggle for PSU, consider that the Wolverines just barely—albeit spectacularly, in Denard Robinson fashion—beat Indiana last week; therefore, the Lions might have trouble with the Hoosiers, too.

I do expect them to win at least one of the five games against what some of you persist in calling inferior opponents. The problem is that they’re not inferior. I expect Illinois to be no picnic in the park, and I expect losses to Michigan and Moo U. Northwestern could be tough, too.

Let’s re-evaluate that “inferior opponent” thing. It might have been true in 1994, but it is not true now. Penn State is a middle of the pack Big Ten team at best now. Just wait until Nebraska comes along next year to provide another potential top echelon foe.

As Flounders says, I’m not suggesting that these former “inferior opponents” are better than Penn State. They’re pretty much on similar levels. Flounders used the word “ordinary”; I’ll stick with mediocre.