The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Search This Site

Enter keyword(s) below to search for relevant articles.

Home Archives for Nick Saban

Time and Tide

Posted on Written by

Penn State welcomes Alabama, its premier extra-conference opponent, tomorrow for what we hope is a spirited clash in Beaver Stadium. We also hope that the fans — all of them — behave themselves and put their most gracious foot forward for our esteemed opponents, just as they do for us. This is not always the case of late. This Turkey gets extremely pissed off when fans act like assholes and show no respect for our worthy opponents, win or lose. That is not the Penn State way.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, what we have to look forward to, I fear, is another lopsided game. Does it surprise you that I should say that? Nah, you know that this Turkey is perennially the harbinger of gloom and doom. So many Nittany Lions fans have been waiting for this game, presumably for some kind of validation, that I feel bad for them. Maybe I should paint a picture of sunshine and lollipops like some other pseudo-journalists? Nah, that’s not the Turkey’s style. The Turkey wants everybody to suck down a dose of reality, for a change.

Alabama is ranked #3 in the meaningless Week One AP poll, whereas Penn State is ranked #23. Have 23’s beat 3’s before? Damn straight they have. However, this is an occasion on which my gut feel is that Alabama, while perhaps not really #3, is that much better than Penn State.

I don’t think that the problems we saw last week against the Sycamores can possibly have been resolved by tomorrow. The most glaring and egregious is pass protection. Our boys could not handle the blitz. Perhaps having a big body in Stephfon “Outta Da Doghouse” Green in the backfield will help in blitz situations. Perhaps Stephfon wants to redeem himself in front of a national TV audience and let the NFL take notice. But is he PSU’s secret pass protection counter-measure? Me not think so. Having watched McGloin make a split-second decision that almost became a pick-six last week,  I cringe to think of how many turnovers the Tide defense will force on a couple of quarterbacks who will be pressured constantly.

The other big issue is special teams. Yeah, I know. Chaz Powell did a helluva job running one back 95 yards. Will Alabama give that up? Nope. Powell is no Darren Sproles. (Just thought I would throw that in to show you that I watched the NFL opener last night). But some decent returns notwithstanding, Penn State’s kicking and coverage ranked somewhere between moderately fecal and extremely shitty. Just offal!  Will Anthony “I Outta Da Doghouse Too” Fera be the solution on punts and kickoffs? Me not think so. They might go deeper, but the coverage will still be deficient and Alabama is that much better.

Field goals? Hah! Not only was Evan Lewis 0-2 in field goals last week, but also he missed an extra point with no great pressure from the defense. I mean, hell, high school girls make extra points. Sam Ficken, the rangy freshman from Valparaiso, Indiana, entered the ISU game in relief of Lewis and made the one extra point with which he was tasked. Could Ficken be our man this week? Fick! I hope so!

Now, what about the quarterback competition (aka quarterback controversy)? It appears that we will have approximately the same situation as last week. Rob Bolden will start, but that doesn’t mean that he is being given the nod as titular starting quarterback because *da da da TADAAAAAA* (a fanfare in Turkeyese) Matt McGloin will split duties under center with Bolden. Is this the way to generate offense against Alabama? Me not think so. Just as a guy establishes a rhythm, the other guy comes in at the behest of Joe or Jay Paterno, and he starts from scratch. Different timing with receivers, different snap count vocals for the linemen to acclimate to, and a different presence in the huddle. Oy, such a disruption for all concerned. How does anyone expect this to work?

The creampuff games are the ones in which to try this kind of crap out, but we have had only one such outing thus far, in which McGloin showed himself to be the better passer. (Bolden was not as bad as his stats look, given that there were a couple of abysmal drops by his receivers). Bolden was ready to leave PSU after last year’s embarrassment of being beat out for the starting job. Other than playing hardball in not letting Bolden out of his scholarship commitment, what did Paterno do to make him stay around for another year of uncertainty? Did Joe promise him that he’d skew this season’s competition in his favor, but McGloin unwittingly foiled the plan by looking good out there? That confident guy leading the team against Indiana State wasn’t the McGloin of Outback Bowl ignominy. Perhaps he’s gotten over big game jitters. Perhaps not. It’s not for us to decide, but the damn decision must be made. Joseph V. Paterno: Please shit or get off the pot!

Same goes for Nick Saban and the wayward Tide. Quarterback duties thus far have been split between A.J. McCarron and Phillip Sims. PSU will probably see much more of McCarron.

Alabama, by the way, has a kicker, junior Jeremy Shelley, who is dangerous. Why? Because he can actually kick! Not only field goals, but extra points, too! He was perfect last week. In a close game, which this one won’t be, we turn to the kicker for salvation. If they need it, they’ve got it in the experienced Shelley.

Methinks Penn State’s best plan on defense is to shut down the run and force the pass. Duh! Typically vacuous, out of context words of wisdom. Lots of us speak of doing that like we know what the hell we’re talking about. We generally don’t. One thing is for sure: this is not the Penn State defense we all know and love. That it is, is wishful thinking.  Ah, the memories! These guys are mere pretenders next to the likes of the defenses in the 80s and 90s. Good old Linebacker U! Let us hope that the Lions have a couple of standouts who rise above the mediocre, because they’re going to need them to avoid embarrassment. Mauti, Crawford, Astorino: can you hear me now? Go ahead and try to shut down the run. Perhaps you can find a chink in their armor. Then, we’ve got them where we want them, right? Me not think so. These guys will burn you with the pass.

(Remember, the crossing pattern splitting the seam of the PSU zone defense has been something that Nittany Lions defenses have had difficulty with for years and years. Sandusky, why the hell did you endow us with that damn zone and why hasn’t anyone on the defensive staff worked hard to bolster the coverage of such a reliable play?)

Speaking of embarrassment, Penn State receivers, please remember to catch the ball before you do anything fancy! This was another source of embarrassment last week against a lesser opponent, one from the FCS division, already. Moye was predicted to be All-Conference this season. Thus far, he has shown exactly bupkis. Penn State, by the way, is presently a solid 104th in the FBS in passing yards. The ranking numbers don’t get much higher than that. They’re truly rank! Will the incompetence persist this week? Turkey hope not. Disaster looms if the Lions cannot stretch the field.

I can say nothing but good things about Silas Redd. Watching his tweets, I get a feel that this kid is replete with work ethic and takes direction well. (Lovers of sports cliches would say, “He’s the real deal!” Apologies to Evander Holyfield.) Redd had one helluva game last week, assisted by the offensive line and the lead blocking of fullback Michael Zordich. Will he have a good week against Alabama? Me not think so. Not his fault, though. An inexperienced offensive line is poison against quality opposition.

This has been declared a “white house” game — everybody is exhorted to wear white in order to show our Penn State solidarity. Beaver Stadium is, of course, sold out, so it will be a spectacle to behold: a huge bowl of white with a small sliver of crimson in the north end zone corner.

The weather for the game will be clearing with a couple of thunderstorms and a high of 72. The big problem, though, is all the flooding that has happened in Pennsylvania. Traveling to this game will be a nightmare, as will be parking. The unpaved lots will probably be closed. However, with the crack grounds crew at Beaver Stadium being a cut above, you can expect the field to be in pretty, pretty, pretty good shape.

The game will not be pretty, though. I suspect that the turnover count will be lopsided in the Tide’s favor. And, in Frank Gifford’s words, as recounted ad nauseam by Howard Cosell, “Turnovers’ll kill ya.” So will penalties as the frustration mounts.

Well, I’m standing by for incoming rounds, but that’s the way I see it.

And now, as usual, it is time for the Official Turkey Poop Prediction for the PSU-Alabama game. The old gang — and  I do mean old — will be gathering at Mike’s Garage on Saturday to watch this one go down. As I write this, the ficken line on the game has the Crimson Tide favored by 10 and the over/under at 42. I’ve given you enough drivel already, so I won’t be long-winded about this. Penn State does not do it, even with the points. Alabama 35, Penn State 10. Take the over.

Alabama Post Mortem

Posted on Written by

Let me be the last to ring in with my comments about the Alabama game. Let’s face it: yesterday was the first full day of the 2010 NFL schedule, so who had time to blog, already? Soitenly not dis Turkey.

As you know by now, the then #18 Nittany Lions traveled to steamy Tuscaloosa to square off with the #1 Crimson Tide of Alabama on Saturday night. The results were not pretty. When the final gun sounded, Penn State had been able to muster only a single field goal, while Alabama had visited the end zone three times and kicked one through the uprights for a final score of 24-3. I won’t go into excruciating statistical details. You’ve probably already reviewed all of them and were as disgusted by them as I was, particularly with the four turnovers.

As outmatched as PSU was, they would have had to play a near perfect game to have a chance to win. While the turnovers in themselves did not lose the game for the Lions, not committing them might have kept the game closer. However, good defenses cause turnovers, and I think we can conclude that Alabama has a pretty damn good defense.

Other screwups compounded the problems for Penn State. Anthony Fera showed his human side with a couple of shanked punts that weren’t about to win any field position wars. In my pre-game column, I had expressed a great, big question mark about Fera’s punting, given that he had logged only one punt against weak Youngstown State. And, of course, our offensive line, still truly offensive and not yet ready for prime time, did its share of screwing up. We observed that DeOn’tae Pannell, our best apostrophed name, but a screw-up at guard, was relieved by frequent Paterno doghouse resident Johnnie Troutman, with whom he had been rotating during the YSU game. Troutman came in and promptly screwed up.

Looking across to the other guys, one has to conclude that Alabama is a legitimate number one team. Without two stars, Heisman winning running back Mark Ingram, and defensive end Marcell Dareus, arguably their best players on offense and defense, the Crimson Tide functioned nearly flawlessly, making dispatching the hapless Lions look easy.

When Ingram returns, he’s going to have a battle with Trent Richardson for playing time. Richardson is a monster who bench presses 460 lbs and runs like a bull, only faster. When he ran at the Lions’ strength, it was like that bull was running through a picket fence. Richardson rang up 144 yards and a touchdown. Watching him carry defenders on his back, I could see this guy playing in the NFL—like next Sunday!

Recalling my prediction of 38-6, this Turkey expected a poorer performance from Penn State. The defense was putrid, not forcing a single turnover while allowing the Tide to roll up over 400 yards, but they could have been putrider. Allowing 24 points instead of 38 averts at least some embarrassment, as does the offense managing to get a 3-pointer to avoid the insult of a shutout.

This Turkey was worried about injuries to PSU players’ bodies and psyches, particularly with respect to our young quarterback, Rob Bolden. Fortunately, Bolden avoided bodily injury, as his much maligned offensive line was able to provide protection such that through 29 pass attempts, he was not flattened a single time. The one serious physical injury occurred on the opening kickoff when Gerald Hodges, a decent special teams linebacker, rolled up his leg. It remains to be seen how deeply injured the Nittany Lions psyches might be, but was replacing Bolden with Kevin Newsome in the fourth quarter just a little stupid? Sure, Bolden is the starter and we don’t want to see him hurt, but wasn’t it a blow to his self-confidence? When you’re down in the fourth quarter, you want your starting quarterback in there with the game on his shoulders.

The game was a learning experience. It revealed the flaws in every unit, every component, every player the coaches put on the field.

Irascible head coach Joe Paterno declared in a turbid post-game free-for-all interview with the media that “We were outplayed and outcoached.” I think he might have been a little rough on himself and his staff. Frankly, I thought the game plan was fine, more aggressive than I thought it would be, given Paterno’s history of tightening up the anal sphincter for big road games. I had expected it to be a Woody Hayes style offensive game, but it was far from it. Bolden was given the green light to throw the ball downfield, pass on early downs, throw over the middle, and so forth. I think that the coaches realized that Alabama’s defensive line was not going to allow the struggling, suddenly ineffectual Royster any running room, particularly given the state of the PSU offensive line, so they knew they had to throw. Perhaps that this is what Paterno was so pissed off about after the game. They couldn’t play his kind of game!

Then again, there are haters like Ohio State homeboy David Jones of the Patriot-News, who gives me enough good reasons to pick on him, who say that Penn State’s game plan was too tight. Which game were they watching? Did they ever see a Paterno team with a green quarterback throwing repeatedly on first down? I didn’t think so.

I won’t dispute the notion that Penn State was outplayed. Hell, the results are right there on the scoreboard for all to see. Penn State players on offense, defense, and special teams were not sharp and couldn’t execute the plays given to them by the coaches. We want to blame the coaches when our team loses, but we can’t sit back acting stupid about a collection of players who as a whole lack the necessary talent and gumption to win big games. Desire can be coached only to a certain extent. If it doesn’t show up on the field, it isn’t the fault of the coaching staff. It’s da playaz, yo.

So, who of you perennial optimists out there are looking for an 11-1 season and a trip to the SSMNC?

I CAN’T HEARRRRRRRRRRR YOU!

Let me offer an apology, if I may. In my pre-game commentary, I got carried away in describing the adversity Rob Bolden would face in Bryant-Denny Stadium. “…[he] will be playing against the SSMNCs in a hostile stadium loaded with 100,000 rednecks yelling ‘Rooooooooll Tahd!!’ and hoping he gets his brains knocked out his nostrils.” Folks, that was offensive and I’m sorry I wrote it. Alabama fans have to be among the nicest, most football savvy fans in the nation. I can say this from personal experience over many years as well as the tweets from our fans who made the trip to Tuscaloosa. They’re not rednecks. They’re southern gentlemen and ladies who know the meaning of southern hospitality. If PSU is going to lose on the road, let it be places like Tuscaloosa where they have class and where they appreciate good football. Alas, there aren’t many such places left.

Back to what we learned from the game, our running game is in a shambles, and something must be done to shake up the squad. Sure, Alabama could make anybody trying to run on them look bad, but our backs sucked against the mighty FCS Penguins the previous week. What is it with Evan Royster. He had 32 yards on 9 carries. Stephfon Green couldn’t even top that, with 5 carries for 13 yards—a 2.6 ypc average. This is not even Woodyball. Two yards and a cloud of dust leads to three-and-out. Sophomore Devon Smith (2 for 8 yds) and freshman Silas Redd (5 for 26) yards looked better than their upperclassmen colleagues. Redd was particularly exciting, although by the time he got in, the game was well in hand for Alabama and their defense was getting weary. Nevertheless, I say give these two some more playing time and see what happens.

In summary, it was a beat-down. This was the wrong year to schedule Alabama, especially at Bryant-Denny Stadium, and especially on the anniversary of legendary Alabama head coach Paul “Bear” Bryant’s birth. Alabama comes to Beaver Stadium next year, and I hope to hell the Nittany Lions are ready for them by then. This year, they clearly weren’t.

I’ll be back later in the week with a look forward to the mighty Kent State Golden Flashes.