The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Two Bits

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I have two news bits for you today.

The Penn State football schedule for 2020 is out. Unfortunately, Micah Parsons won’t be taking the field. He has opted out of the 2020 season and will declare for the 2021 NFL Draft next April.

Of course, Micah is taking a chance either way. He is gambling on whether there will be a 2021 NFL season. Nothing is certain at this point in the pandemic. On the other hand, playing in empty college stadiums compromises exposure while risking injury. This had to be a tough decision for him, but for us fans, we have his fourteen tackles in the Cotton bowl to remember him by. He truly was a one-man wrecking crew, as I wrote back then.

And now, the schedule. The Nittany Lions will play a ten game all Big Ten schedule, which kicks off on September 5 with the Northwestern Wildcats and wraps up on November 21 with the added game versus Illinois. While we will play all our Jim Delany contrived rivals (i.e., Moo U., Maryland, and Rutgers), there won’t be a season ending pseudo-rivalry game. (Illinois was only a rival in the sense that they stole players in the aftermath of the Sandusky Affair).

SI has the full details. Check it out.

An Opening Day Catfight!

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The Turkey apologizes for the tardiness of this game preview and prediction. I had to overcome some personal issues, and then I had to hear the legend of Rufus from a tribal elder. I will strive to do much better in the future!

Ohio UniversityOhio University, a venerable institution founded during the Thomas Jefferson Administration in what was then the Northwest Territory exists today in a beautifully unspoiled part of Ohio nestled into the Wayne National Forest.

Its sports mascot is Rufus the Bobcat. Legend has it that Princess Ru-Fuss-ee of the Fakowee Native-American tribe that inhabited the area in the early days of our republic made friends with a wild bobcat who could hunt for her, since she was too ugly to be courted by any of the young braves who needed a squaw, a princess even, already. Oy! So, every day, the cat would hunt. Every day, Ru-Fuss-ee would pet him, share food with him, remove thorns from his paws, dress him in cute little outfits, and sometimes pretend that he was the man of her dreams. Some nights, Princess Ru (fer short) could be seen dancing with the cat. Both of them were quite content. And thus, the legend lives on, from the Fakowee on down, of the big cat they called Ru-Fuss-ee’s kitteh. When the white man took over the area (no one knew where da Fakowee went) Ru-Fus-ee’s name was given to the cat, albeit truncated through the æons. And that is how Rufus the Bobcat received its moniker—true story, I swear!

Ohio University is proud to have recently rescued Rufus from the Athens, Ohio Wayward Cat Shelter; they loved him so much that they made him their mascot.

You need to know this in order to proceed to the game preview and predictions. Yes, friends, the infallibly insouciant Official Turkey Poop Prediction returns. That comes later, but first, here’s what I’m thinking about this 2012 season opening game in the most weird, extraordinarily bizarre, outré season for Penn State, one that no one could have predicted in their wildest Kafkaesque dreams.

And so, here we are in another big catfight in Happy Valley. A few months ago, we would have considered this a tune-up game against a moderately tough opponent; obvious changes in circumstances have now made this one of twelve must-win games, by no means a walkover for Penn State. You see, even though the MAC is considered one of the weakest FBS conferences, OU finished 2011 with a 10-4 record and are favorites to win the conference title this year. They have an excellent coach in Frank Solich, who was given the heave-ho at his alma mater Nebraska for the great sin of a nine-win season.

Meanwhile, Penn State needs this win much, much more than a typical opening game. Sure, if the team loses any opening day game, it sets a sour mood to be overcome for the entire season. Beyond that, these Nittany Lions believe in themselves and they believe that they can overcome major obstacles, even though they’ve lost major talent because of the sanctions. They’ll play bigger than themselves as long as they don’t let themselves get discouraged, which could easily happen if they lost to an opponent from a lesser conference. (And, unlike Michigan losing to Appalachian State a few years back, it wouldn’t be because they are hung over.) Furthermore, a loss to up-and-coming Ohio U. will have a negative effect on recruiting, which would be disastrous, as there could be another exodus of Penn State talent after the close of this season. So, this is a must-win game, and so are the rest of the games.

“Would that it could be so that they win ’em all!” saith the Turkey wistfully. Alas and alack, that won’t happen (stated with apologies to reader Joe from Western PA).

It’s been 38 years since these two teams have met. Much has transpired since 1974. Hell, much has transpired for Penn State since 2011! Although the series had been lopsided, a 5-0 Penn State advantage, it’s a whole new deal this time around. The Bobcats are on their way up, while the Nittany Lions are headed godknowswhere, possibly to join up with the Fakowies.

Penn State’s guys will be pumped up, yet nervous. The front seven on defense will have to do most of the work. It is absolutely essential that OU be kept out of the PSU end zone, for unlike many predictions I’ve seen, I don’t think our Nittany Lions are going to be able to put many points on the scoreboard. This is not a team with which I would want to get into a scoring duel, not with its record-setting junior quarterback Tyler Tettleton and the Lions’ green secondary. (But instead of the soft Sandusky zone, we’ll be seeing more man-to-man coverage, which should be almost unspeakably orgasmic fun.) The PSU front seven must control the line of scrimmage and keep pressing Tettleton. Having passed for over 3,000 yards last season, Tettleton is dual threat — he ran for 658 net yards, too. In all, three runners racked up almost 2,000 yards last year. Yes, friends, that PSU front seven has its work cut out for it.

In any event, it will be great fun to watch Bill O’Brien’s new offense. It will be quite a change from the lumbering, delay of game incurring, play calling confusion oriented offense we’ve seen for the past several years. We know for certain that next-call certitude will no longer exist in the enemy defensive coordinator’s mind as it used to  when we would cringe looking at the defensive line-up just hoping for an audible that never came because there was no time. On the other hand, a load of talent transferred out of Penn State, as you damn well know. The paucity of playaz requires a surfeit of spunkiness in those who must step up. We think Bill Belton is the key on offense. He’s no Silas Redd, but he has shown that he has the desire to win. Coupled with Ohio having given up over 300 yards on the ground in last year’s Famous Idaho Potato Bowl against Utah State, the run has a good chance of succeeding.

Meanwhile, Matt McGloin, Penn State’s starting quarterback, better shine, but he can’t just hand it to Belton on every play. To whom will he be throwing to with Justin Brown gone to Oklahoma? Right at the moment, Allen Robinson looks like the number one deep target against a cornerback position that is weak due to injury, but with O’Brien’s system (unlike old Joe’s), the tight ends are very active. Those of you who have lamented that tight ends never get involved should find this game like ice cream candy.

Both teams’ kicking games will probably bite the big one. This is Sam Ficken’s first game as a starter. Ficken seemed to round out in the later days of practice, but he could have the jitters when the onus is on him in a real game. The depth chart for Penn State did not identify who the return men would be, and chances are that they would be too inexperienced at the position to comment about even if we knew who they were!

Coaching on both sides is topnotch, but O’Brien has never been head coach with a program all his own to run. However, the last game he coached was the Super Bowl, so it isn’t like he doesn’t know about big games. He’s got lots of help, but the team is his to make or break. Meanwhile, Frank Solich is a veteran of big-time games as both a player (running back for the Cornhuskers) and as a coach. He’s seen just about everything, but the Nittany Lions will no longer be predictable as were their predecessors.

Everybody’s always got to talk about intangibles, but seldom do they have anything significant to say. In tomorrow’s case, however, intangibles mean a lot. It’s a 12 noon start, and you know how crappily past teams have done with nooners, especially when the student section has that big, gaping empty corner for half the game with the corresponding decrease in pro-Penn State noise. That better not happen this time around. The team needs the support of the student population and hangovers better not get in the way, even though the student section at Beaver Stadium has been moved around a bit, such that a sparsely attended game won’t stick out like a sore thumb. The crowd will be behind the team, and let us hope that the desire to attend punctiliously will be present for the students, too.

Whether the weather is a factor or not depends on whether the PSU babes show up in their distractingly  exiguous bikinis, as tomorrow promises to be a beautiful late summer day, mostly sunny with a high of 84°F (29°C). It’s a little warm for football, and so the lumbering leviathans might wear down a bit as the game progresses, especially with this being their first game of the season. Unfortunately for Penn State, that means the lack of depth issues will potentially surface. That could be daunting.

Now, to wrap this thing up, as you long-time readers know well, it is time for the Official Turkey Poop Prediction, a feature that you know and despise. Recall that in my season forecast, I picked this one as a Penn State win. That was then and this is now. I can vacillate, and without any kind of track record for this team and coach, I have done so quite frequently. Before I get to my prediction, however, let me say that I love those guys and I’m behind them 100%, even if I say they’re going to lose. If you want to gin up some passion for this team, check out Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith debate whether to root for Penn State this week in this video. I won’t say who’s pro and who’s con — watch it for yourself — but I’ve always thought that Smith’s middle initial stood for asshole. But I digress.

Let’s get down with it. The opening line on this game was PSU favored by 9, but the spread almost immediately shrank to 6. So, the bookies had more confidence in PSU than the bettors. Since then, it has settled in at 6.5 points with an over/under of 44.5, suggesting a Penn State 26-19 win. I don’t think the bettors have it right. Call me a disbeliever, but I don’t see how this team is going to get 26 points. However, on this first week of the season, and with everybody being so down on Penn State, I can’t — I just can’t — pick against the Nittany Lions. By the time the game is over, I’ll be well buffered against the possibility of a loss, anyhow. (If you don’t know why, you don’t know the other barnyard creatures who gather in my cave.) So, for the glory of  old State, for her founders strong and great, unlike the current wimps we hate, raise the song, raise the song. For the victims and for the children: Larger, More Ornery, Leonine Mountain Cats 17, Rabbit Eaters 16.

I’ll be back after the game (sometime) with a recap, including my hung over observations. Please check back later on Sunday or Monday or so. In the meanwhile, GO STATE!

No New Uniforms at Media Day

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So, what did you think? The name label makers, label makesses, seamstresses, and seamsters were going to work overtime in order to have the team’s new jerseys ready for display on Media Day, already? Didn’t happen. Yesterday was media day; names and ribbons were nowhere in evidence. It turns out that the new uniforms’ debut will be September 1, the season opener.

“…at the end of the day, whether the names are on the back of the jersey or not, we have to play football. So as much as it is a big story, it’s still about playing football.” —J.R. Refice, FB

The players showed up at the confab looking like… like… like Penn State players. Just like they have always looked. They’re trying to break us in gently, to give us time. This is clearly going to be a traumatic change for many of us who are used to seeing the boringly unadorned sea of blue or white, which stood for hardheaded determinism in coaching, among many other perceived virtues. The players are fine with the changes, both in uniforms and in coaching, but some of us important folks — alumni and fans who make huge donations and pay for tickets — are not amused.

There are a half million alumni (most of whom were at Woodstock) who are split on the so-called simple changes to the uniforms: a name banner on the back of the jersey and a blue ribbon on the front in support of child abuse prevention. To those who oppose the move, this represents something akin to a doctor’s office changing from a manual system to a computerized one — Oy, we’ve been doing it this way for 60 years and it works, so why change it? Progress, my mulish friends, progress.

What’s in a name? Recognition for no-name players who stuck it out with Penn State when the chips were (are) down? You bet. The team made the decision, and coach O’Brien supports it. Here’s what he had to say:

 I’m very respectful of the traditions here. Very respectful. But it’s a new era of Penn State football in many ways, and the reason for the names on the back of the jerseys is, there are a few I want people to recognize the fact that these are kids that are special, competitive kids that care about education, that care about Penn State, and have gone through some tough times over the last year as a team, individually, and they’ve stuck with us. I think that says a lot about these kids, and I want people to recognize these kids. At the same time, I want people to understand that these are the kids that in many ways are going to reach out to the community and help lead this University through the next few years in many different ways in the community. Whether it’s Special Olympics, whether it’s THON, you know, child abuse organizations, all the things that we’re going to do, these are kids that will be part of that, and I want people to recognize it. But again, at the end of the day, to me going into this year, the most important patch on the uniform is the blue patch and blue ribbon that will signify putting an end to child abuse. To me, that is the most important patch on the uniform or wherever we’re going to put it.

However, opponents include another group of people I haven’t mentioned: ex-Nittany Lions players. One of the supposed reasons that there are no names on the jerseys is in recognition of those who had worn each number before the present player. (Cue up Aretha singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T…) Instead of retiring numbers of those who have singularly distinguished the uniform, as in the pro leagues, the number and the memory of those who wore it is preserved as an ongoing, living tribute to past gladiators. So, the player wearing the jersey merely rents it for the time he is wearing it.

But wait? Why stop at just no name on the jersey? Why not require players to play anonymously? Tell them that they’ll be recognized by number and year only. They ain’t no “I” in TEAM. Whassup wit dat?

Nahhhh, clearly I jest. Each generation on the field deserves to have its heroes and an occasional Morelli. We’ll associate their numbers with their names whether or not there’s a name on their back. The bigger the star, the longer we’ll remember the number. However, the average players on each team deserve a little recognition, too, particularly at this inflection point in Penn State history. And so, this Turkey welcomes the change. I’ll even welcome the blue ribbon, which is the penance the players have to bear for the — well, some of us don’t think it’s a settled matter yet — matter involving various entities implicated in the Sandusky scandal, which include lots of suspects, none of which is the football team. Call it a Penn State guilt ribbon if you wish.

But you see, the uniform change means so much more than just adding a name on the back and a ribbon on the front. It means a whole change in football philosophy at Penn State. To Mark Emmert of the NCAA, it can be a symbol of abandoning the old order while capitulating to his draconian sanctions, if that is what he wishes for it to be. He’s a self-interested dick, so it would fit that he takes some credit. More importantly, to Bill O’Brien, it signals a new beginning, as it should be.

If you were to bring in a new coach, hand him the reins to the team, and then tell him what he can’t do with it, you’d be emasculating him from the start. Frankly, I want to see changes. I know we will see changes. Welcome changes on the field. That’s where the important changes will be made, not in the haberdashery department.

For example, how long have you been pining for the Sandusky/Bradley soft cover three prevent BBDB defense to be replaced by something that updates the defensive strategy to the 21st Century? My answer is too damn long! I’m tired of bitching about it season in, season out, ad nauseam. Well, friends, say farewell to that abomination. May it stay behind bars with Sandusky for the rest of his days. We might actually see cornerbacks trained to cover receivers instead of laying five yards off them at all times — maybe even a bump at the line of scrimmage, for a change. Aren’t you looking forward to that?

How about O’Brien’s plans for the offense? “We’re going to play faster,” is what is coming out of everyone’s mouth. Let me once again ask how long you’ve been waiting to see plays run fast enough to confuse the hell out of the defense? Hell, you’d probably be happy just to see plays getting off on time, for a change. The stupid communication system that has caused so many delay of game and false start penalties is out the window. Hallelujah!

It all goes together. If you’re an optimist, you give O’Brien the wherewithal to manage his team, confident that he will do his job well and the changes will make it that much better. If you’re a pessimist, you give him enough rope to hang himself. Either way, he’s got to be given a decent, one-year honeymoon, a free ride during which he can do everything his way and not have firebob.net popping up on Internet searches just yet.

In my mind, repudiation of the uniform change is akin to repudiating O’Brien — the damn new guy on the block wants to change everything! Next thing you know, fans will be demanding that O’Brien wear thick glasses and rolled-up khakis on the sidelines for games. For youse guys, your security blanket will be knowing that Johnson and Vanderlinden will be there on the sidelines as a link to the treasured past, at least for this year. Otherwise, don’t expect a lot of comfortable familiarity in the conduct of the team. It would be much less traumatic for you if you were to embrace the changes. You’ll save what you would have spent on Xanax.

Moving right along, one of O’Brien’s responses to a questioning reporter at Media Day cracked me up. It involved what the coaches were doing to limit defections and keep the roster together.

“There were a lot of individual conversations that I had with individual players; those … things I’ll keep between myself, my team, and those individual players. But again, the common phrases are unity, one team, sticking together, commitment, education, 108,000, TV, a great weight room, chance to develop as a player. So these were things that we spoke to the team quite a bit about.”

Remember that, folks: unity, one team, sticking together, commitment, education, 108,000, TV, a great weight room, …

Anyhow, if you want to read the entire transcript for the press conference, it is on Gopsusports.com.