This is for my friend Todd, a fellow PSU football blogger who is also an ophthalmologist in his spare time. In connection with my prior post, he had noted that while there existed a surfeit of colonic humor, there was a dearth of eye (vitreous) humor. To remedy that sad situation, I hereby present this very old bit of vitreous humor.

So, Dr. Bernstein enters the exam room and finds an older woman sitting there. He points to the eye chart on the wall and asks her to read the third line.

“I can’t,” she says.

So, he moves his pointer up a line and asks her again.

“I can’t read it,” she says.

He points to the top line and she still can’t read it. He then excuses himself and returns shortly with a bigger eye chart. He holds it a couple of feet from her.

“Try to read the top line,” he says. “I’ll give you a clue. It looks like an ‘E’.”

“Oy, no, I still can’t read it!” she insisted.

So in his frustration, the doctor thinks for a minute and then unzips his pants and pulls out his unit. Standing right in front of the woman, he asks her, “So, this you SEE, already, lady?”

“That’s disgusting, doctor! Of course I see it!” the woman retorted, revulsed.

“I figured!” exclaimed the doctor. “You’re cockeyed!”