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Spliffs, Mon!

Posted on March 26, 2012 Written by The Nittany Turkey

This Turkey dives back into the Penn State football blogosphere with the latest in drug busts or at least a preliminary finding relating to an eventual bust.

According to the Collegian, the apartment of Devon Smith and Jack Crawford was entered by a police officer in connection with the investigation of a reported break-in. Upon entry, the cop found a Mary Jane grinder, a scale, and “multiple blunts in an ash tray.”

That find was good enough for the DA’s office to ask for a search warrant. When police executed the warrant, they seized “multiple blunts, a bottle of liquor, a grinder, a scale, a plastic bag with suspected marijuana, and prescription drugs.”

Neither Smith nor Crawford have yet been charged.

Devon (pronounce it DEE-von) Smith is a wide receiver. Crawford, a defensive end in 2009-2011 seasons, is presently awaiting the NFL Draft next month.

There was no indication of the quantities of pot involved says White Sands, or whether it appeared that selling the somehow still illegal drug was suspected.

What this Turkey thinks is ridiculous is that one of the residents of an on-campus apartment would call the police to report a break-in without cleaning up the dope. Are these guys complete idiots, or what? Or perhaps someone else, who might not be their BFF called the cops, knowing what they would find there.

The Collegiate article was unclear about whether the cops were let in the first time or got in at the behest of the apartment superintendent. Enquiring minds want to know.

More details from yet another minor, but embarrassing off-field incident as they emerge, unless they’re downright stupid.

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Filed Under: Penn State Football Tagged With: drugs, off-field incidents, stupidity, university police

DWI: Driving While Imbecilic

Posted on July 12, 2010 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Yes, this will be yet another post about driving. Overpopulation coupled with poor funding of highway infrastructure has led to some pretty annoying situations out there on the road. I’m here to talk about five of them.

What I’m not here to talk about are obvious offenses such as drunk driving about which you can find better information on https://attorneyatlawmagazine.com/are-dui-lawyers-worth-it, failure to wear a seat belt, yakking or texting while driving, following too closely, driving too slowly, speeding, or deeming the turn signals present on every car sold in the past 75 years a worthless option. These infractions are obvious, they’re dangerous or at best, they’re obnoxious, and they annoy everybody. Well, almost everybody. There are obviously those who are completely oblivious behind the wheel and who have no clue whatsoever as to what is going on around them.

I’ll be talking about five specific driving techniques or maneuvers that bother me. Hey, alright, I’m a self-righteous hypocrite behind the wheel. No doubt I’ll piss off a plethora of pious perusers of this post by positing that a preponderance of drivers are, like me, self-righteous hypocrites. So, be offended. We’re all in the same boat out there. I’m certain that I do my share of dumb things that annoy other drivers, but in my mind, my driving is perfect. The late comedian George Carlin captured the essence of such hypocrisy in this line from his stand-up routine on driving: “How come anyone who wants to go faster than you and passes you is a maniac, while someone in front of you going too slow to suit you is an asshole?” That line has stuck with me, because it pretty much has always been how I view those frequently encountered situations on the road. My choice of labels for the culprits is exactly the same as Carlin’s: maniacs and assholes.

But I digress. Being a curmudgeon, I want to share with you the top five annoying acts of driving stupidity that particularly jerk my chain. I’m addressing this to you, people who offend me, so take heed! You know who you are. [Read more…]

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Filed Under: General Tagged With: annoyances, bad driving, curmudgeon, driving, driving sins, stupidity

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Whodat Turkey?

The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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