The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Temple Cometh

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Yes, friends, we’re at that point in the season at which the Nittany Lions (2-1, 0-0 Big Ten) are playing the Temple Owls (3-0, 0-0 MAC) and the big question on everybody’s lips is: Why?

NOTE: Seems that the current vogue in sports writing is to give grades for various aspects of team performance. This expedient, designed for the short attention spans of today’s sports fans, is something you’ll never see in The Nittany Turkey, who asks the rhetorical question, “Why use a sentence when a paragraph will do?” So instead of grading the teams, I’m going to submit this article to my PSU English 10 prof, Dr. Eamon X. McGillicuddy (now 94 years young), who will grade it for me.

So, where are we? I have a headache, so no telling what you’ll get from me tonight. Nevertheless, the show must go on!  I hope the Nittany Lions harbor that same attitude toward Saturday’s game.

What we have here is a potential trap for Penn State. Play uninspired football, let Temple stay in the game, lose a few turnovers, and the Lions could lose. In fact, at the beginning of the season, our old friend David Jones of the Patriot-News picked Temple to win this one. He is now waffling, saying that when he made that pronouncement, Kevin Newsome was projected to be PSU’s starting quarterback; with Rob Bolden now in the cockpit, the offense is more aerodynamically sound. Still, there are a few out there who think Temple might just do it, in spite of the history of this quasi-rivalry.

Historically, Temple is 3-35-1 against Penn State. The last time a game was close, it was a 7-7 tie in 1950. Penn State has convincingly won every game thereafter. Sixty years have transpired since that tie, which occurred in Rip Engle’s first year as head coach and Joe Paterno’s first year as an assistant coach. When Temple last actually beat Penn State, Paterno was 14 years old. Yeah, yeah. That’s all history. That was then and this is now. There just might have been a few changes in the team since those olden days. So why are all these hack writers yapping about Penn State dominating Temple? This isn’t 1994, you know. Temple has improved and Penn State, well, this isn’t one of the Lions’ better years talentwise, motivationwise, or schedulewise. (I guess that makes this hack writer a wiseguy.) I suppose thems guys write what they write because, in Paterno’s words, “I guess you guys need something to write about!”

So, to hell with the historical record. Let’s just look at what is happening here and now.

First of all, the intangibles. Penn State’s play has been lackluster this year thus far, and lacklusterness begets lacklusterhood. (It also leads to lackanookie when the PSU women catch on, but I digress.) In other words, guys are getting lazy out there, not tackling, not blocking, not executing, or not playing unsloppy football. (Sorry—couldn’t resist preserving parallel structure at the expense of a double negative, just for you, Prof. McGillicuddy.) This sort of attitude is pernicious, especially when there exists a notable leadership void on the team. It would be nice if a go-getter like Stephfon Green would stephf forward and lead, no matter whom the team had elected as captains heretofore, but who knows if something like that can happen at this point. The attitude problem is exacerbated by Paterno’s ultimatums to those he sees dogging it—play hard or lose your starting position (or even, play hard or you’re off the team). Are they listening? Will it help? Or will it create morale problems in the absence of real team leadership? (Remember that in 1993, as loaded with talent as that PSU team was, they didn’t really get going until a few guys, including Kerry Collins, started holding team-only meetings and getting people’s asses in gear. Team leadership is essential for success.)

Another intangible is the Iowa game looming a week from Saturday. It sure must be tempting to save up the old bod for a pounding at Kinnick Stadium. As the hack sports wonks say, that game is huuuuuge! Yeah, so let’s just dispatch these Temple Owls by mailing in a barely adequate performance. Hell, they’re pushovers, right? Yeah, right. If the Lions start thinking that way,  they might dig themselves a hole from which it would require the full expertise of the College of Mining and Mineral Science to extricate them. They’ve got to forget past successes. Two completely changed teams will be squaring off on Saturday. Tabula rasa, mah man. The Nittany Lions better go into the game with the attitude that they’re going to play four quarters. None of this delayed start crap! At least the 3:30 PM kickoff time is favorable for the lads to actually want to play football the first quarter.

Temple, as you all know, has improved under the adept tutelage of Al Golden, former Nittany Lion tight end and assistant coach. Yeah, yeah, he’s been mentioned as one possible heir apparent to the Paterno throne, but what the hell does that mean in the context of an evaluation of his team? Nuttin’. (Distant Brooklyn accented echo: “You guys just need something to write about.”) The Owls had a 9-4 record last year, including a trip to the Eagle Bank Bowl (which they lost). This year, they’ve started 3-0 for the first time since 1979, beating Villanova, Central Michigan, and UConn. They’ve got a decent running back in Bernard Pierce, and a reliable field general in junior quarterback Chester Stewart. Their defense is credible. Of Penn State’s so-called cupcakes this year, Temple is the first that could put up a fight. At least this Turkey hopes so.

The keys to a good outcome for Penn State are pretty simple. First, they must establish the running game, which has been absent for the past three weeks. Next, they must shut down Temple’s running game, forcing them into third-and-long situations. Finally, no cheap turnovers that will make Temple look better than they actually are, ranking 92nd and 70th for passing and running yards, respectively. PSU is no great shakes, ranking 73rd and 74th, but if the much maligned rushing offense gets their asses in gear, they’ll snatch victory from the Owls wit de feet.

Temple will have to play a damn near perfect game to have a chance of winning. Their defense ain’t bad, but the pass rush is no great shakes. Bolden will have time to throw the ball (say what you will about the PSU offensive line, but they haven’t yet allowed a sack this year), and they will not be able to stop the Nittany Lions’ running game—if it shows up. Chances are good that it will show up late, when Paterno decides that he’s seen enough of Royster, but we could be pleasantly surprised here. Temple’s passing game protects the ball well and it completes a lot of passes, but the Owl’s careful approach to the aerial game doesn’t move the ball very far downfield, as that 92nd place ranking attests. Perhaps the Penn State defensive line will be able to record some sacks and some hurries for a change. That’s another aspect of the Nittany Lions’ game that has been lacking, in spite of high expectations for Jack Crawford, who was pulled last week, as was Eric Latimore, in favor of Pete Massaro and Sean Stanley.

I want Penn State to look sharp against Temple. This is the fourth game of the regular season—a third of the season will have elapsed when all is said and done. If coaches are still looking for guys who can play at this point, and if the players on the field are still by and large lacking motivation to get the job done, the forthcoming Big Ten schedule is not looking very hopeful. This is the last so-called tune-up. Here’s hoping that the Lions strike no sour notes with their on-field performance on Saturday. The offense has been a work in progress and the defense is adequate but not great (and again, still not settled as to who is playing what and when). When was the last time Larry Johnson, Sr. didn’t have a standout lineman? When was the last time Vanderlinden didn’t have a potential All-America linebacker? And who ever would have thought we would be missing the days of Rubin and Scirrotto because we have safeties who can’t hit hard or don’t want to? Ranking 9th in the nation in scoring defense, they seem better than they really are.

With that rant behind us, we now come to what the three remaining readers who have waded completely through all that diatribe have been waiting for: the infallible, omniscient, hypoallergenic Official Turkey Poop Prognostication. But first, did you know that Temple has an up and coming wide receiver named Deon Miller who enrolled at Temple after two seasons at Fork Union Military Academy? I’m serious, friends. After two years at Fork U., Miller is now handling balls at Temple. He’s a 6’5″/210 lb freshman, so you’ll know what happened if this Turkey doesn’t report for duty next week. But I digest—wait, I’m still working on Jenny’s banana bread—I mean I digress. As I write this, the gambling spread has narrowed to 13.5, with an over/under of 43, suggesting a final score of something like 28-15. This waffling, waddling, banana bread eating Turkey ambivalently thinks that the game will either be a blowout or Penn State won’t beat the spread, and I’m leaning toward the latter. As we used to exclaim at Good Old Fork U when we raised our middle finger in salute, “Take the under!” Penn State 24, Temple 13.


May the Schwartz Be with Them

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Obscure Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs reference notwithstanding, this Turkey thinks that the Nittany Lions are going to need to shape up in a hurry to get the Big Ten season started with any kind of a statement. However, that is a topic for a later post. This one will be devoted to “It is what it is” and the somewhat disappointing Temple game.

Penn State (3-0, 0-0 Big Ten) came into the game ranked #5 nationally. In the past two years, they had easily handled unranked Temple (0-2, 0-0 MAC), so all the prognosticators out there were convinced that the Lions could light up the Jumbotron with a veritable plethora of points. This Turkey had mixed feelings. There was no way the Lions were going to lose this game to the Owls, but I felt that it would be a lot closer than most expected. I did, however, think that they could beat the spread for the first time this year. I was wrong about that part. I had them just beating the 30.5 point spread at 37-6. They wound up not covering, the final score being 31-6.

Penn State is not getting the point production expected out of them by gamblers, blogsters, and media wonks this year, against so-called “patsy” opponents such as Akron, Syracuse, and Temple. Recall that during the off-season, lots of writers and barroom bloviators were completely dismissing these first three opponents, and then further declaring the rest of the season an “easy schedule.” How many of them are re-thinking their 12-0 and 11-1 regular season predictions now? I know, I know. I’m being the consummate pessimist again. After all, we did see some semblance of a rushing attack this week (which I’ll caution you to take with half a grain of salt, because it was against Temple). However, in your heart of hearts — or at least in your logical mind of logical minds — does this look like the #5 team in the country?

This Turkey believes that ranking to be inflated by about 10 positions, although polls at this juncture are next to worthless. We just saw #1 Florida’s invincibility challenged by Tennessee, and we saw #3 USC getting dumped by Washington. Last week, #2 Oklahoma lost to Brigham Young. Until Week Eight, these things are meaningless, merely providing fodder for the aforementioned barroom bloviators and material-starved blogsters. Hell, some blogs and major media outlets even conduct fan polls. What could be more meaningless than what a bunch of homeys think about their favored teams. But what the hell. People don’t even analyze issues when they’re voting for President these days. Voting with their hearts instead of their brains renders useless results. Anyhow, do you really think that Penn State, lacking a cohesive offensive line and battle-tested defensive secondary, absent an even halfway decent kickoff coverage scheme, is better than #12 USC or #13 Ohio State? Well, Cincinnati is #14, and I’m not about to suggest that PSU isn’t as good as the Bearcats. So let’s, for the sake of argument, propose that they’re a worthy #14 in the Turkey Poop All-Too-Early-In-Da-Season Unilateral Single Vote Poll. Phil Grosz, please enumerate five reasons (with consecutive integer numerical prefixes for your paragraphs, please) why I’m wrong in my simple-minded, birdbrained reasoning. Drawing on your vast repertoire of comparisons to past teams, please waste my time expostulating on those vacuous parallels. Tell me how we’re #5 because Wisniewski used a towel to dry his crotch the same way Jeff Hartings did in 1993. Whatever.

Oh, yeah. I’m on a roll tonight. No doubt, I’m pissing off all three of my readers. Nobody wants to agree with me, I know. Hell, not even you, Mom?

In my highly opinionated pre-game article, I wrote that Royster and Green would have to run for at least 190 yards in this game to convince me that they were able to have a chance against Big Ten front sevens. The entire rushing offense was 186 yards, of which Royster had 134  — and 119 of those were in the first half.  (All of this while having flu symptoms and, in Paterno’s words, “feeling lousy.” All things considered, Royster had one helluva good individual performance day, and just think about what he’ll be able to do when he’s feeling well!) Green had only 19, although he a touchdown on the ground and doubled as a receiving option with two catches for 28 yards. So, anyhow, 153 yards is not 190. I can be as arbitrary as anyone else, but I chose that 190 yard line of demarcation for a reason. I forget what the hell it was, but it doesn’t matter. If I can’t pull something out of my ass every now and then, I have no business blogging sports or sitting in a bar discussing who will win on Dancing with the Stars. But I digress. Are you convinced that the offensive line can support the run against Iowa later this week? I’m not. And whose opinions count, besides yours and mine.

To be fair, it is indeed true that many team members were suffering from some flu-like ailment this week, which has affected many college team thus far this year. We weren’t seeing individual players at their physical peak, and furthermore, some players had to be isolated during the week to avoid spreading the Swineskin Flu, which didn’t help in preparing for this game.

There was one change on the offensive line, which is still not living up to pre-season expectations (well, except mine). Johnny Troutman replaced Matt Stankiewicz as starting left guard. Blocking was still deficient, and for the first time this season, the pass protection was breached on several occasions. Fortunately, the Owls chose to not sell out on the run, as had Akron and Syracuse before them, leaving their safeties back in their normal position.

Phil Grosz and everyone else writing or commentating on Penn State football can say what they want, but the proof is going to be on the field. Microanalyzing this stuff from the desk in one’s study doesn’t mean a damn thing. So, why the hell would you read this? As Phil would say, here are five reasons.

1. Assuming that you have an important meeting coming up when you need to be adversarial, this will provide a warmup for you. You can get pissed off at me and then carry it forward into the meeting, much to the chagrin of your opponents.

2. Please disregard #1 if you are a proponent of the modern, pussified non-competitive approach to interpersonal relationships. But if you’re not competitive, what the hell are you doing hanging around football fields, anyhow.

3. You want to laugh at an idiot, making idiotic pronouncements straight out of left field.

4. You’re a hot babe who has long wanted to get into my pants and you think that flattering me about my writing is the key to the zipper. Well, you’re wrong, honey! I’m all Jenny’s, and don’t you forget it.

5. It is possible — albeit akin to the fabled “Butterfly Effect” — that through some strange coincidental quirk of alternate reality, the Nittany Turkey is right.

And thus, I offer my conclusion that in spite of Royster’s great day, the running game is not yet ready for Big Ten prime time. The forthcoming week will determine whether I’m right or wrong, but if I’m wrong, you still have four good reasons to continue reading this trash!

OK, so back to the game. Darryl Clark had a less than stellar day, as Temple was able to put some pressure on him for the first time this season. He went 16-20 for 167 yards, with two touchdowns and an interception. The Zugster had but a single reception, and the Moyeburger, although snagging four, had only 31 yards. The leading gainer among all receivers was Andrew Quarless, with three receptions for 45 yards.

Special teams are still an issue. As I had briefly mentioned above, the kickoff coverage was nothing short of horrendous. The Owls averaged 24.8 yards per return. This is Temple, folks. What’s going to happen when we run into some Big Ten returners with an extra gear? The Nittany Lions did a little better on punt returns, giving up 7 yards per return. However, the bright spot is Jeremy Boone’s punting. He averaged 47.8 yards. Moreover, Colin Wagner did not miss a field goal this week; however, he seems to have trouble getting kickoffs into the opponents’ end zone.

Meanwhile, on defense, Penn State was not able to get enough pressure on Temple quarterback Vaughn Charlton to contain him, something that lowly Villanova had been able to do. Charlton went 15-33 for 205 yards, with no touchdowns and no interceptions. Villanova was able to intercept him three times. However, as expected, Temple wasn’t able to move the ball on the ground against the best part of the Nittany Lion defense, winding up the day with a net production of 46 yards.

The Nittany Lions have given up seven points or fewer in their first three outings this year, the first time that’s happened since 1996. However, the first opponent that year was USC, not Akron.

We’ll be back later in the week with a look at the big clash with the Iowa Hawkeyes, and with anything else that comes to mind in the meanwhile.

With the Nittany Lions’ Big Ten schedule on the near horizon, we offer the following prayer: May the Schwartz Be With You!

Whooooooooooooooo?

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The Owls are coming to Beaver Stadium on Saturday for their ritual slaughter. Temple (0-1, 0-0 MAC) faces the #5 Nittany Lions (2-0, 0-0 Big Ten) in the last of the tune-up games for the Lions, and they better take this as a serious opportunity to get the running game on track.

(It’s ON TRACK, dumbass sports commentators, not “untracked” or the pseudo-Teutonic equivalent, “untrakt”. Sorry, couldn’t resist; I digress. N’wait – don’t go away yet!)

Temple hasn’t played since September 3, when they blew a 10-point lead in a losing effort against FCS Villanova.

Recall that I had grave doubts about the efficacy of the offensive line before the season began, when others were licking their chops counting up the wins in a year they claimed would be a walk in the park because of the “easy schedule.” Folks, it’s not coming together. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Eliades and Stankiewicz getting pine splinters again real soon now. Furthermore, the Wisniewski experiment, moving him to the unfamiliar center position, is not working. If these things don’t get settled on Saturday against Temple, the Lions are in deep doo-doo against Iowa.

Syracuse pushed these guys around pretty well. Fortunately, they’re not half bad at pass protection blocking – yet. We’ve got a decent passer and some very tall, sure-handed receivers, so we haven’t been burned yet by the lack of a running game. However, it is quite possible that this game will be once again be a difficult one for the PSU running game, because the one Temple unit that performed well in that disastrous outing against Villanova was the defensive line, which recorded 11 tackles for loss. “Butbutbut that was against an FCS team,” you protest. Yeah, well this damn offensive line is damn well playing like an FCS team, and I don’t mean like Ap State or Samford, either! ???? ???? Penn State’s rushing offense ranks 94 out of 119 NCAA FBS Division schools, and that was against Akron and Syracuse! Friends, if Royster and Green cannot rack up at least 190 yards on Temple, it won’t keep the Nittany Lions from winning, as Clark and his receivers will eat up their secondary (Villlanova did), but it will not portend well for the rest of the season.

So, now, I’ll stop bitching about the offensive line. I am really quite happy with the looks of the passing game. These receivers can actually catch! The Zugster is a great go-to guy and the Moyeburger ain’t bad, himself. I’m encouraged when I hear that Quarless has a whole new attitude, because his contribution will be essential this season. Smith and Powell provide an interesting change of pace (and height). Moreover, Royster has some pretty good hands, himself, and is a serious threat swinging out of the backfield or lining up in the slot. Clark might be rushed a bit more in this game, as Temple has a couple of decent defensive ends who recorded five sacks against Villanova in their only outing thus far. Although I expect to see timing patterns most of the day, the Spread HD will get some additional work Saturday. We haven’t really begun to see the full extent of the vaunted Spread HD yet this year.

By the way, the NFL seems to be enjoying the novelty of the “Wildcat” offense all of a sudden, but quarterbacks coach Jay Paterno brings out the fact that PSU used it in 2002 with Michael Robinson and Joe Paterno had it in his playbook in the 1940s at Brown. I’m just sayin’.

Ahh, another digression! Will they ever end?

No.

The defensive secondary still hasn’t had a good workout this year. Nevertheless, the pass efficiency defense ranks 52
nationally. Temple managed to pass for 317 yards against Villanova. Junior Vaughn Charlton is back at quarterback again this year and he threw three interceptions in that opening outing. So, this could be a field day for the secondary if they can, in fact, play, or it could be an embarrassment for them if they let a couple of big plays get by them. But chances are that those big plays won’t happen, as Charlton won’t have the time to make them happen. He’ll be rushed and forced into making mistakes.

We’ll be looking warily at special teams again this week. Last week, Colin Wagner didn’t get any chances to screw up field goals, so we still don’t know if he’s developed into a consistent kicker. Jeremy Boone is a solid punter, but the punt return coverage has been pretty poor, with Penn State ranking 52 nationally in net punting yardage. Receiving, they suck even worse, ranking 90 and 112 in punt and kickoff returns, respectively. That’s got to change, and soon!

The weather should be fine. The forecast for kickoff time is 65 and sunny. Should be a great football day for those who are lucky enough to be attending in person. Happy tailgating, and don’t bring any glass bottles? Somehow, whiskey doesn’t taste the same out of cheap plastic, so bring it in Nalgene bottles or get some glasses from franklyjames.com.au. So let’s make a classy move by grabbing some glasses from franklyjames. After all, a smooth sip of whiskey is the perfect way to toast a hopeful victory.

Talking about the weather has brought us to that weekly feature where I either make an ass out of myself or make myself look smart: The Official Turkey Poop Prediction. Thus far, I’ve looked pretty smart. I think I’ll probably be smart again this week. ???? ?????? ??? ???? Penn State is favored by 30.5, with an over/under of 46, which suggests that gamblers think PSU will win by about 39-7. I think the Lions actually might cover this spread, for a change. ????? ????? ?? bet365 (They didn’t do so in the first two games.) Mighty Lions 37, Hapless Owls 6.