The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Quick Hits for Another Leaderless Monday

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What the hell is a “quick hit”? Does that mean something like, “Ima hit yo’ ass wit dis, ya shit!”? I don’t know. It’s one of those vogue sportswriter things. I just thought I would use it here so I could bitch about it. What I mean is that I have a few quick stories for you.

First, our deposed legend, Joseph V. Paterno, is out of the hospital, released to Sue’s care. As you probably know, hip/pelvis fractures are quite dangerous for people of Joe’s age; however, he’s a tough old bird about to be 85 and he’ll surmount this just like he has surmounted much adversity in his life. Joe comes from an era in which we admired people who could handle tough breaks, unlike now, when everyone has a sense of entitlement and people for whom life isn’t going well are to be avoided, if not scorned. (Notice how I get the editorial in, even though the subject is Paterno’s hip?) He will be continuing rehabilitation at home, and will continue with his cancer treatments, which reportedly “take a lot out of him.” He has not lost his fighting spirit, though. Give ’em hell, Joe!

The next “quick hit” involves a hit that was too quick for Matt McGloin, as it knocked him ass over tin cups onto the concrete locker room floor, where he smashed his head and put his lights out. McGloin is now questionable for the Lions’ post-season consolation bowl. Like a true leader, McGloin took full responsibility for the fight, which involved several punches between him and Curtis Drake, and which he said lasted about 10 seconds before he hit the deck. He admits to having started it, but says he should have walked away, because as a quarterback, he’s held to a higher standard. Both McGloin and Drake are looking at some kind of discipline by acting interim temporary sort of head coach Tom Bradley. PSU Judicial Affairs is looking into the altercation and will involve Homeland Security if any terrorism is suspected. Come on, folks! It’s a simple fight between two testosteronically challenged dudes who went at it in the locker room — big deal! Back in the good old days, they’d go have a beer afterward and celebrate Drake’s winning haymaker — just a simple fight between a dude from West Philly and a dude from West Scranton. Oops, wait. We don’t want Drake having any beers yet, as he won’t be 21 until February 1. Stand down, Stephfon.

Now, this third “quick hit” is a real doozie. Our old friend and current ESPN analyst Craig James is seeking the Republican nomination for U.S. Senator from Texas. (It used to be that Senators were appointed by the governor of their respective state before the progressives got their way. It was better the old way, but hell, Rick Perry would have probably appointed James, anyhow. There I go editorializing in the context of a freaking “quick hit” again. Quick! Hit me! … thanks, i needed that…. But I digress.) Yeah, the good thing is that we won’t have to see or listen to James on ESPN anymore. He won’t be working there while he’s running for office, and he’s already missed the hefty assignment of the Beef O’Brady Bowl. This all, of course, is outweighed by the peril of Mr. James having an influence on public policy. OMG WTF. Read enough to make you sick on ESPN.com.

And our final “quick hit” is a bit of a hit about the snit Rob Bolden got into with so-called “minor legal issues.” The twit! Dimwit! He needs a quick hit upside da haid! Get this shit: he stole a damn bottle of Gatorade from a campus convenience store! Bradley had a fit, and Bolden to his doghouse he did admit, although Bradley said that it was a prank and Bolden had returned the bottle to the store lickety-split. As for playing time, Bolden will not sit, Bradley said. As McGloin might not be medically cleared or disciplinarically available to play the Second Annual TicketCity.com bowl, it now looks like Bolden is it. (OK, I quit!)

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!

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(Rhymes with “Congratulations, Urban Meyer!”)

I was just going to write a quick Urban Meyer blurb, but then my pre-dysfunctional Thanksgiving mood swing got in the way. Instead, I’ll ramble on about Meyer, Bradley, and Penn State coaching situation, but I’ll stop short of the Wisconsin preview, which I’ll be writing while the rest of you are happily guzzling wine and ravenously devouring my avian cousins.

Urban Meyer will coach the Ohio State Buckeyes, the Columbus Post-Dispatch reports.

Urban Meyer
Urban Meyer

With Meyer having gone to OSU and Rich Rodriguez having gone to New Mexico, there are no remaining high-profile head coaches available for Penn State, which at present has the only high-profile opening that is fact and not just rumor. Not that any Penn State fans would have wanted Rodriguez, anyway.

Don’t lament about missing an opportunity to get this much hyped coach, Nittany Lions fans. Meyer is a good coach, but he’s not magic. Many of the players on his championship teams were recruited by Ron Zook. Furthermore, why risk getting a guy who thought he had heart issues and needed to spend time with his family, but who a year later thinks everything is hunky-dory. Meyer left behind a Florida team that struggled this year; hell, last week, they barely beat Furman. Any hint of defense in that game was roundly denied by my local Gator/Buckeye pundit, Chrysanne. But I digress. The Nittany Lions are better off with Scrap.

I wonder what kind of a deal Meyer got at OSU. They sucked him up off the market that he didn’t even announce being in pretty quick, so it must have been sweeeeeeet. While that’s between him and Gordon Gee as far as I’m concerned, the ultimate effect will be to increase the starting point for salary package negotiations with whomever is selected as the Nittany Lions’ new head coach. Undoubtedly, there will be a huge gap between what Paterno’s final salary was and the dickering point, which just grew larger.

To those of you who are putting together a petition to the Board of Trustees saying in essence, “We Want Scrap!”, you’re wasting your time. The petition reads something like, “We know that the Board of Trustees favors cleaning out the football program from top to bottom, but…” Well, first of all, I don’t think that they really want to get rid of the entire staff, secretaries and all. They do want to get rid of the Paterno influence, even though I think that he is being scapegoated for the whole Sandusky affair. You can probably count on Scrap, Jay, Galen, and Dick biting the dust. Hell, in a move for a wave of public support, an appeasement move to unfray raw nerves, the powers that are might even want to elevate Larry Johnson to head coach and save some money. On the other hand, big money is the game, and they want someone who has successfully run a big-money program, so as to have no fall-off from the Joe Paterno Money Machine. That’s not Scrap, either. He’s a plant superintendent, not an executive. Penn State will want need an executive with fund raising and marketing skills. Other institutions are in the same boat. That’s probably why Scrap didn’t get any offers when he put himself on the block last winter.

There’s an age old conundrum: how does a guy get the experience if he’d not given the opportunity to get it. Well, Scrap might well get it, but it will be a lesser institution that offers him the opportunity. Penn State is not about to take a chance on putting him into the “earn while you learn” program. To the Board of Trustees, this position is not so much about coaching football as being the CEO of a $50 million per year business and being a good football coach, besides.

(Hmmm… why did Bradley suddenly start looking in earnest for jobs after last season? Could Joe have said something like, “Tom, this Sandusky thing is about to blow sky high and it would do your ass good to start looking now, as none of us are going to be around here much longer.”? Whattya think?)

Bill Cowher ain’t going to get the job. Those of you who are thinking that way are probably Steelers fans who couldn’t get enough of the old face-spitter. I think Cowher will wind up coaching again but it will be in the NFL.

Al Golden is probably wishful thinking, too. Repatriating an old Penn Stater would be great fun, for sure. It seems like a natural, given the situation he walked into at Miami. But I don’t think he’d bail out after a year. If he does, he’s not showing much strength, is he?

This is my writing therapy prior to another dysfunctional Thanksgiving. It is true that most turkeys should go into hiding around this time of the year, because when we stick our necks out, we wind up getting our heads chopped off. Pre-Thanksgiving is much like PMS: we all get cranky and depressed; however, that is just annual melodrama for a wizened old Turkey who keeps his head down and the keyboard humming. When I next look up, if I look up,Thanksgiving will be over for another year. The Nittany Turkey will have survived another dysfunctional Thanksgiving, I hope.

That all having been said, it is my hope and the hope of the entire Nittany Turkey staff (which is me and my alternate personalities) that you all have a very peaceful and relaxing Thanksgiving! Think of this Turkey as you are dismembering one of my unfortunate brethren and dousing him with gravy. See you on the other side, wherever that may be.

And I’ll be most assuredly spending part of my dysfunctional Thanksgiving laying low and writing a preview and prediction for the huge season finale with Wisconsin, just so’s ya know.

A Class Showing

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While the #12 Nittany Lions (8-2, 5-1 Big Ten) were beaten on the field by #19 Nebraska (8-2, 4-2) 17-14, they had chances to win. After perhaps the worst week in the history of Penn State, that the team was able to perform at all with a new head coach and hasty changes to the coaching staff is a testament to their focus.

State this out loud in stentorian tones: It was the first game of the post-Paterno era at Penn State, as the winningest coach ever in NCAA Division I was fired on Wednesday.

“I think today it just made the healing process start to begin,” said interim head coach Tom Bradley. Solidarity among players and fans, chants of “We are… Penn State!”, blue ribbons for victims of child abuse, and Nebraska’s classy empathy were all part of an emotion laden day. For some players, it spurred them on; for others, it dragged them down. “I used the emotions to fuel the fire,” said linebacker Nate Stupar.

Announced attendance was an amazing 107,903. This Turkey had expected that a significant number of those planning to attend the game would back out in the aftermath of the scandalous revelations of the preceding week. I was pleasantly surprised with this strong showing.

Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, let’s proceed with some football chatter.

With the victory, Nebraska moves up to #16 in the BCS standings while Penn State drops to #21 with the loss. 1xbet ???? Interestingly enough, of all the 8-2 teams ranked by the BCS, Penn State is the lowest ranked. South Carolina, Kansas State, Georgia, Michigan State, Nebraska, Wisconsin, Michigan, and TCU all are ranked above the Nittany Lions. As usual, the rankings don’t make a lot of sense. Nebraska lost to Wisconsin, but are ranked one position higher; they beat Michigan State, but are ranked one position lower. I suppose when we’re looking at #12 through #21, we shouldn’t get too picky. Those teams are not likely going to BCS bowls, anyway.

Penn State was shut out in the first half and Nebraska had built a 17-0 lead before Penn State was able to score.

At that point, senior running back Stephfon Green came alive, scoring touchdowns in the third and fourth quarters. As it was Senior Day, Green got more playing time than he has been getting from Paterno, having been in the infamous Paterno doghouse due to an off-field incident during the summer. The Paterno doghouse is now up for sale and perhaps might be shipped to the Smithsonian. ????? ??? ??????? ?????? Green wound up with 71 yards on 17 carries and the aforementioned two touchdowns.

But it was Silas Redd to whom the coaches turned when the crucial, make-or-break fourth down came up with 1:49 left in the game. Redd was stopped for no gain. By the time Penn State got the ball back on its own 28, all of its timeouts had been used and there were only 49 seconds on the clock. Three points down, a tie to take the game into overtime or even a win was still possible, but the Lions managed to move the ball only to their own 46 when time expired. Redd finished the day with 53 yards on 15 carries. ??? ???? ????

Interestingly enough, Matt McGloin played the entire game at quarterback. His performance wasn’t great, but I’m still convinced that he did better than either the two-headed scheme or Bolden would have done. He was 16-34 for 193 yards with no interceptions and no touchdowns. The Nebraska secondary did a reasonably good job, but could have intercepted a few passes that they wound up dropping. McGloin was not particularly accurate.

Moye was the leading receiver with 78 yards on four catches, the longest being 40 yards.

For Nebraska, Taylor Martinez was 13-26 for 143 yards, but added 56 yards on 19 carries in the Cornhuskers’ option oriented offense. By far their offensive star, junior Rex Burkhead ran the ball 25 times for 121 yards and a touchdown.

Penn State’s special teams were, to use the hackneyed sports writer’s irony, nothing special. In fact, they especially sucked. Anthony Fera badly missed a field goal that represented the three point differential between the scores.

By and large, the two teams played even, as the game statistics show. It just wasn’t Penn State’s day.  We’ve been saying that a lot lately.