The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Stephfon Possibly Out; Fera Suspended

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As we close in on the Nittany Lions’ opening game, a couple of suspensions could get in the way. Well, not in the way of winning against Indiana State, but remember that on Week Two the Lions’ opponent will be Alabama, to whom Sports Illustrated  has given the #1 on da cover kiss of death this season. Surely, both of the suspensions, namely RB Stephfon Green and P Anthony Fera, will be detrimental to the PSU effort in that game.

At Media Day, Joe Paterno said that he “doubted” whether Stephfon Green would be coming back.

He should know. That sounds pretty much like a typical Paterno response when he throws someone off the team but doesn’t want to say so. Green has been known to be in Joe’s infamous doghouse for a while. Problem is, now how will we celebrate Christmas without Redd and Green on the team together? And who will back up and supplement Silas Redd?

Oy, so this we need in addition to the much ballyhooed quarterback controversy? (This Turkey prefers the term quarterback competition to quarterback controversy. The actual controversy is usually among a bunch of fat old guzzlers sitting at a bar each asserting which quarterback is better when a short lived fight breaks out, quenched when the bartender reminds them that they’re over 65, that they all have heart conditions, and then “cards” them just to prove it. Medicare card, not draft card — oops, I mean driver’s license. I’m showing my age. Hey, I’ve got a Medicare card. But I digress.)

Anthony Fera, the first string punter, had an off-field incident, the kind involving booze and people who don’t have enough brains to let their friends who are of age buy it for them. This, of course, means that Fera is an idiot. It is this Turkey’s hope that the multiple game suspension plus the $700 or so in fines and costs will drum some smarts into his damn kicker head. (You know, with all the ethanol our federal government pays corn farmers to produce, surely they could give free corn liquor handouts to needy punters.)

Sophomore Alex Butterworth will fill in for the shamed punter. Alas, Butterworth isn’t all that great. Last year as a freshman, he punted 12 times for an average of 38.1 yards. That’s what happens when you are born to a lady who is made of glass and filled with syrup.

So, I’m overdue for a pre-season pontification. I’m kind of like Phil Grosz of BWI — if any part of my prediction turns out to be true, I brag that “I was right!” next year; if it’s all wrong, I don’t talk about it at all. I’ll get around to posting some thoughts on another mediocre season ahead (that’s a hint — you may quote me on that) shortly, after I read everyone else’s sanguine projections and stop laughing. Now, who amongst you thinks Penn State will beat Alabama in Beaver Stadium? Tawk amongst yaselves. Discuss.

Notice Anything?

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I hope I don’t jinx anything, but do I detect that this Penn State team is getting serious about playing football? With the SSMNC game a distinct possibility, is the farting around, partying, pot smoking, and underage drinking giving way to a nose to the grindstone work ethic? Has peer leadership finally gained a firm foothold?

I can’t answer any of these questions myself. ????? ????? ?? ???????? However, the evidence suggests that the answers are all affirmative. ??? ???? ????? It’s damn well time these kids realized what a privilege it is to play for Penn State. ????? ??? ???? Maybe it has finally sunk in.

Pair of PSU Players Party Precociously

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Police cite duo for underage drinking

With the Austin Scott caper hanging over the team’s head like the Sword of Damocles, the off-field shananigans continue. In this latest round of player transgressions, true freshmen Joe Suhey and Ryan Breen were cited for underage drinking in two separate incidents. These two had seen no playing time. Suhey is the son of a legendary Penn State fullback, Matt Suhey, who subsequently enjoyed a successful, 10-year career with the Chicago Bears.

What the hell is going on with this Penn State team this year? First the Scirrotto fracas, then Quarless and Harriott, then Austin Scott, and now these two. Taken individually, some of the incidents might seem minor, but in the aggregate they constitute evidence of an egregious problem. Once again, I am impelled to blame the transgressions on the dearth—or at least the vacuousness—of team leadership, which is to a large extent responsible for the Nittany Lions’ failures both on and off the field this season. A leaderless sports team is like a captainless ship. Someone needs to take charge, kick ass, take names, and do whatever else is necessary to coalesce these individual players into a homogeneous unit—a real team. Someone needs to establish some discipline and focus—both on and off the field! Freshmen—as well as those older players who act like freshmen, no matter what their class standing—need to be mentored by their more emotionally and intellectually mature peers. It is abundantly clear to this Turkey that the tri-captaincy of Connor, Golden, and Morelli does not provide that sort of leadership; thus, it is an abject failure.