The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Lions finish regular season like pussycats

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It wasn’t the worst lopsided loss by a major program on Saturday — UCLA having lost to NCAA purgatory dwelling USC 50-0 — but it was a thorough and convincing beat down. Number 16 Wisconsin (10-2, 6-2 Big Ten) defeated #19 Penn State (9-3, 6-2) 45-7 at Camp Randall. Wisconsin will play in the inaugural Big 10 championship game in Indianapolis on December 3, while the Nittany Lions grab a piece of the Leaders Division championship (the part that doesn’t mean anything).

A road start at 3:30 should have given our guys a good basis for for pulling out a maximum effort. At Jackstand’s Garage, Zbeard opined before the game, having read my column here, that he disagreed with my prediction. He said, “Penn State can win this game.” I thought, hmmm, what haven’t I thought of? What did I miss? It looked to me like the Badgers were vastly superior and would run all over the Lions. So, I asked, “Why do you say that?”

“Because they haven’t played it yet,” responded zbeard.

Oh.

“We’ve been facing quarterbacks like that all year.But he’s obviously phenomenal at what he does. When we didn’t have good coverage, he’d complete a pass.” —Drew Astorino, Penn State safety

The early glimmer of hope evident in Jackstand’s Man Pit, a decidedly 1970s sectional seating arrangement, arose out of an early touchdown on a 44 yard, pass from Matt McGloin to Curtis Drake, which probably saved a shutout. The Nittany Lions set up this touchdown with a little help from the Badgers when James White ran into punter Anthony Fera on third and four. Jubilation overcame Jackstand’s Man Pit, but alas, it was the last time any cheering was to be heard as the four of us (Jackstand, zbeard, Artificially Sweetened, and the Nittany Turkey) would have nothing at all to cheer for the remainder of the game, at least until about the time the halftime food was unveiled.

Subsequent to Penn State’s lone touchdown, their only scoring of the day, Wisconsin dominated the Lions in every way they could.

By halftime, the Badgers led 28-7. What halftime adjustments could Bradley make with his team having made four first downs as opposed to Wisconsin’s 12? The only adjustment that made sense would be to adjust their protective cups for increased comfort while they sleepwalked through the rest of the game. This was akin to picking a scrawny looking guy in a barroom brawl, landing a lucky first punch, and then getting pummeled by what turns out to be an ex-Marine with a 7th degree black belt in Who Flung Poo, then getting up in a daze and coming back for more. Masochism, to be sure, but better than curling up in the fetal position and absorbing the blows.

Wisconsin picked up where they had left off. Brett Bielema is not the type of gentleman coach who would relent in the name of good sportsmanship like some former Penn State coaches might, and he most assuredly didn’t, piling on another 17 points after the intermission.

This turkey had seen quite enough by halftime — enough to know that no comeback was possible, so I proceeded to get sodden on boxed wine.

Time of possession? Wisconsin 38:17, Penn State 21:43. That stat tells you how long the PSU defense was on the field fighting the two-headed dragon, sucking wind most of the game. Badger quarterback Russell Wilson was 19-29 for 186 yards aerially with two touchdowns and no interceptions, plus he gained 36 yards on seven carries on the ground. He eluded tackles in the backfield. He has now thrown a touchdown pass in 36 straight games. Stud running back Montee Ball ran roughshod all over the PSU defense, as the Badgers’ offensive line double teamed Devon Still all day to neutralize him. Ball finished with 156 yards on 25 carries and four touchdowns. James White added 73 rushing yards. The Badgers were able to amass 450 total yards against Penn State’s vaunted defense. Faced with Wilson’s talented, pinpoint passing and Ball’s ball-shattering runs, the lads did not know which way to turn.

Penn State’s offense was ineffectual, due to its own suckage plus a dominating defensive performance by Wisconsin. The Nittany Lions could scrape together a mere 233 total yards, and had 12 first downs to Wisconsin’s 27. Individually, this was not one of Matt McGloin’s better days, as he threw 17 times for 97 yards and a touchdown. He was intercepted once. Rob Bolden entered the game in the fourth quarter; he was no better. Bolden was 2-7 for 22 yards. Our running dudes were just a-ight. Silas Redd led the pack with 66 yards on 12 carries and Curtis Dukes added 25 yards on six carries. Sloppy ball handling made the suckage all the worse — the aforementioned inopportune interception started the ball rolling (so to speak), exacerbated by three fumbles lost the rest of the way.

No excuses. Wisconsin was tough. We knew that at the beginning of the season when we predicted three losses in November for the Lions. However, we can be proud of playing Nebraska close, and coming up with a rare victory in Columbus. The guys had to be pretty wrung out given the big scandal at Penn State plus the two big games preceding this one. Still, they admittedly came out flat emotionally and probably did not give their all. Moving the ballforward seemed a veritable impossibility for Penn State, which converted only four of thirteen third downs. Turning the ball over to Wisconsin’s “non-suspect” offense was the coup de grace, and the Nittany Lions’ seven penalties for 58 yards added fuel to the Badger bonfire. I’m not saying that the outcome of the game would have been different absent some of the particularly egregious penalties and turnovers, but I can say with certainty that the score would have been much less embarrassing.

To add injury to insult, Penn State running back Brandon Beachum broke a fibula in the fourth quarter. This will undoubtedly mean that he won’t be playing in the bowl game.

Wisconsin next plays Michigan State for the Big Ten’s inaugural championship game on December 3 at Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis. The winner will surely get a Rose Bowl bid.

Interim coach Tom Bradley is giving the boys a week off to lick their wounds before resuming practice for their ever controversial bowl game. Bowl selections will be decided after all the conference championships have taken place on December 10. Some bowl officials have remarked negatively about Penn State. Some think that even with lesser records, mid-level New Year’s Day bowls might prefer to evade the notoriety of hosting the scandalous Penn State in favor of the lesser scandalous Ohio State or the squeaky clean (for now) Iowa Hawkeyes, in spite of both of those intitutions’ inferior records. If their prognostication is correct, say goodbye to the Capital One, Outback, and Gator bowls. Our local rag here, the Orlando Sentinel, predicts that Penn State will land in the Insight Bowl in Tempe, Arizona on December 30 — just about as far away from Florida as possible. That’s probably wishful thinking in view of the hit piece written by Mike Bianchi. Other pundits have suggested that it will be the Meineke Car Care Bowl in Charlotte. This should be interesting. We’ll discover which bowl committees have balls, and which have none.

In the meanwhile, we need a break, too.

Ballin’ in Wisconsin

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The Big Ten Leaders Division champ will be decided at Camp Randall Stadium on Saturday as the #19 Penn State Nittany Lions (9-2, 6-1 Big Ten) square off with the #16 Wisconsin Badgers (9-2, 5-2). The winner will earn a berth in the Big Ten Championship game next weekend in Indianapolis, where they will face the #14 Michigan State Spartans.

“You know, anytime you’re completing 80 percent of your pass [sic], 25 touchdowns, three interceptions, he’s about as efficient a quarterback as I’ve seen in a long time.” —Tom Bradley

This will be the best opponent the Nittany Lions have faced since Alabama, back in Week 2. Wisconsin has lost twice this year, to Moo U. and tOSU, games in which they scored 31 and 29 points, respectively. Both losses were decided close to the end of the games. They are, indeed, prolific scorers, averaging 44.8 ppg, good for fifth in the nation. They are susceptible to good defense, scoring well below their average in those two losses plus last week’s win over Illinois by the score of 28-17. Penn State’s scoring defense ranks #3 in the country, allowing a mere 13 points per game.

Up to this point, Penn State’s conference opposition could be described as having “suspect” offenses. There’s no suspicion whatsoever about the Badgers. They are loaded. Junior running back Montee Ball, ranks third nationally with a 133.27 yard average per game and he leads the country in scoring with 16.36 ppg. Ball had 224 rushing yards against Illinois last week. He is a Doak Walker award finalist. His sophomore backup, James White, pounds out 55.45 ypg. (Doesn’t it seem that Wisconsin always has a pair of great running backs?) They’ll be running against the Nittany Lions’ 34th ranked rushing defense. To add fuel to the fire, senior quarterback Russell Wilson, a finalist for the Johnny Unitas Golden Arm award, averages 254.09 ypg in total offense and is ranked #1 nationally in passing efficiency. PSU is #6 in pass defense and #4 in pass efficiency defense, allowing 160 ypg and and efficiency rating of 96.35. Just to keep the defense busy, Wilson is always a threat to run, averaging over 36 ypg rushing.

“Wilson? Wow,” said Tom Bradley at this week’s Penn State press conference, “You know, anytime you’re completing 80 percent of your pass, 25 touchdowns, three interceptions, he’s about as efficient a quarterback as I’ve seen in a long time. Decision making, excellent; everything he’s done for that football team.”

Wilson transferred from NC State for his final year of eligibility, amazingly picking up where he left off with the Wolf Pack.

Senior wide receiver Nick Toon leads the collection of targets for Wilson. His blood lines run Badger red, as his father Al Toon played the same position for Wisconsin and also was a three-time Pro Bowl wide receiver for the NFL New York Jets. Sophomore wide receiver Jared Abbrederis and sophomore tight end Jacob Pedersen are steady threats, although the latter had no stats in the Illinois game.

On defense, the Badgers are very good, allowing only 15.91 ppg, good for #7 nationally. Ranking 44th in rushing defense and allowing 135 ypg, they can be tough to run against, and their pass defense excels, ranking 10th in pass efficiency defense and third in total pass defense. Penn State is a measly 95th in passing offense and 110th in pass efficiency. The Badgers rank 7th nationally in turnover margin, averaging one net turnover gained per game. Junior linebacker Mike Taylor has 11 tackles per game, ranking #8, and his sophomore colleague Chris Borland has 10.73, ranking #11 nationally and tied with the Nittany Lions’ Bednarik Award and Outland Trophy finalist Devon Still. Borland also is ranked #11 in tackles for loss, with 1.50 per game.

On special teams, Wisconsin can be special. Abbrederis leads the country in punt returns with an average of 16.93 ypg. However, their punting is not so great and neither are the kickoff returns, for which they rely on James White.

Brett Bielema is a good coach while Tom Bradley is still learning the ropes with respect to being a top man. Last week, the cameras seemed to focus on vignettes of Jay Paterno on the sidelines — we rarely saw a shot of Bradley. Be that as it may, the offense has become more innovating under Bradley’s regime, unafraid to run Twenty-First Century plays, although occasional flashes of the Paterno stubbornness and anal retentiveness are still evident. Bielema, however, has seen the wildcat offense and says he knows how to defend against it. Bradley says he’ll consider some things “maybe we haven’t done in the past” this week at Wisconsin.

Camp Randall is a tough place to win, which brings to mind a Paterno moment in the Bradley press conference. “It’s a good football team,” said Scrap, “They’ve lost two games both one was the last play of the game, the other one is pretty close to the last play of the game. Playing up there, tough place to play, but a great place to play. Exciting. We’ve been to Columbus, the Horseshoe.” I could just hear Joe uttering that sentence.

“So it will be a great place,” he continued, “I know they’re going to play Jump Around. I get it. I’ve been there before. Great college football. Camp Randall. Good thing we’re playing for a championship. So, it doesn’t get any better than that.” What the hell is Jump Around? It is a 1992 song by a stupid hip hop band called House of Pain, which was led at the time by a schmuck called Everlast. OK, sorry. I don’t like hip hop or rap or any of that crap. Wisconsin has adopted this garbage as their audience adrenaline generator, causing the whole house of 80,000+ to rock when it is played.

Silas Redd might be getting some reduced reps once again this week. He was given no contact in practices this week.

The ever tearful Penn State homey Matt Millen will be our second Penn State color announcer in a row on ESPN. Sean McDonough will do the play-by-play and Tom Rinaldi will be our surrogate sideline blonde.

Notice that I haven’t mentioned the elephant in the room, the Penn State scandal. I’ll write about it as necessary elsewhere.I’d like to focus on the game here. However, I shall apprise you that Wisconsin Athletic Director and long-time head football coach Barry Alvarez told Bradley that the Wisconsin fans would “do something” to show their support for the beleaguered Penn State team.

The weather in Madison will be what my 91 year-old mother would call “not too bad”. Wait, I think that’s her maximum rating for anything — there is a very narrow distinction between her “not too bad” (NTB) and “it sucks” (IS) ratings. But I digress. It should be around 49 degrees with about 36% chance of rain around kickoff time, a bit warmer than usual for late fall in Wisconsin. They’re expecting an inch of snow later on Saturday night. Weather shouldn’t be a major factor for either team.

Now, we get to the feature event of the column, the Official Turkey Poop Prognostication, dedicated to all of this Turkey’s extended fowl family who perished for the cause of Thanksgiving engorgement by the masses yesterday. Somehow, I’ve made it through yet another year.  Our friendly gamblers are willing to bet that the margin in this game will be two touchdowns and they tab Wisconsin as their money winner. They think a total of 49 points are likely to be scored. Oh, yeah? I think I have to agree with them. Couple a very good defense with a prolific offense with too many weapons to count, against a good Penn State defense with a “suspect” offense (there’s that word again), and I can see a two touchdown margin or more. The only thing that can save Penn State from being relegated to a share of the Leaders Division crown and sitting home next week is the Luck o’ the Irish, which would have to anoint Matt McGloin with mystical powers to leprechaunistically put Wisconsin’s collective nuts in a vise. The Badgers will not be hiding in their holes this week. Take the “under” but only because the PSU offense won’t be doing its share. They won’t cover the spread, either. Wisconsin 34, Penn State 13.

 

 

 

Comfortable at Home

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The title above represents my impression of the Wisconsin game: a comfortable win in comfortable environs, played with a high comfort level among comfortable players. The coaching even seemed more comfortable than usual. I suppose that a blowout win gives the appearance of comfort at all levels, but this Turkey thinks there’s more to it than just its superficial aspect. This team has indeed somehow become more comfortable. And before we leave this ad nauseum abuse of the comfort theme behind, let me just say that the 109,000+ fans no doubt consumed great quantities of liquid comfort on Saturday night in State College.

OK, the facts. State beat #19 Wisconsin 38-7 to bring both schools’ records to 5-2 overall and 2-2 in the Big Ten. Wisconsin’s vaunted running game was effectively curtailed by the Nittany Lions, with P.J. Hill held to a season low 70 yards. Penn State consistently won the battle of the trenches. The PSU Blogosphere’s favorite whipping boy, Anthony Morelli, looked more like a real quarterback, going 16-28 for 216 yards, one touchdown, and no interceptions. And Rodney Kinlaw, the mid-season replacement for the deposed Austin Scott, had another fine day, as did his backup, Evan Royster, with 115 and 68 yards, respectively, a touchdown each, and no fumbles.

Morelli kept hitting Terrell Golden—primarily because Terrell Golden was consistently wide open, a forgotten man in Wisconsin’s game plan. With the defense busy covering Butler, Norwood, and Williams, Golden got a bunch of easy throws early in the game until Wisconsin reacted—slowly. Morelli looked much more poised in his stationary pocket presence (which moves about as much as a concrete bunker). ??? ????? He seemed—what’s the word I abused above? ????? ????????? ???????? —comfortable out there.

Of course, the Nittany Lions’ defense seemed to have forgotten about true freshman Kyle Jefferson because, I suppose, they were too worried about Travis Beckum. Jefferson wound up with six receptions for 124 yards, whereas Beckum caught five for 70 yards.

It was good to see both offensive and defensive lines performing well. This Turkey had previously thought that the offensive line was a bust from Day One this year, and that they would never come together. Well, wonder of wonders, they played like men out there against Wisconsin, not like the McCabe Sisters.

The game plan was significantly more wide-open than what we’re accustomed to. The Offensive Brain Trust (OBT) felt that they could throw on Wisconsin’s much-maligned secondary. So that’s what they did. Even on first down. It was refreshing to watch this brand of football, and I hope that it gives the OBT enough confidence to employ it in the future. (Yeah, I know—next week we are on the road in Indiana and we’ll come out running up the gut…)

Both teams had issues that held them back. Wisconsin’s P.J. Hill had a nagging groin injury, and the Badgers’ best wide receiver, Luke Swan, is out for the season. The Nittany Lions had off-field issues too numerous to mention here, but covered well elsewhere. Interestingly enough, Chris Baker and Knowledge Timmons, both rumored by the usual on-line wonks to be suspended, actually played in this game, while Chris Bell and Phil Taylor did not. However, Baker and Timmons usually are starters, and both sat for the first half. Bell and Taylor practiced on Wednesday, but Baker and Timmons were there in street clothes. ??? ?????? ??? ???????? Paterno would only sat that Bell and Taylor were in his doghouse. These four are all rumored to be complicit in the Sunday morning rumble at the HUB following the Iowa game.

All in all, it was a satisfying and refreshing win in the wake of the continual negative publicity the program has received of late. If this is a harbinger of things to come, the Nittany Lions could win all of their remaing games but one, that one being Ohio State the week after next. Still, combined with the well-played Wisconsin game, a successful road trip to Indiana could prove inspirational enough to give the Lions the confidence needed to fight the Buckeyes to the death. After all, undefeated teams are being knocked off right and left this year, so OSU’s number might well be up in a fortnight. But I digress. The road trip to Indiana comes first and if there’s too much looking past it to the Ohio State game, then it will become a trap game. So, cuidado, hombres! I’ll be back with a look at that game on Wednesday.

More Turmoil in the Top 10

Does anyone want to win the Still Somewhat Mythical National Championship (SSMNC) this year? Yesterday saw yet a couple more high-profile losses by heretofore undefeated teams. LSU, formerly #1, went down to #17 Kentucky in triple-overtime. Unranked Oregon State beat #2 Cal. So who’s left undefeated? Ohio State, Boston College, South Florida, and Hawaii. I would expect that the rankings this week will be OSU #1, BC #2, and USF #3, followed by one or more one-loss teams, and then Hawaii (because they’re a more lightly regarded WAC team). However, if Ohio State should happen to lose to either Penn State, Wisconsin, or Michigan, let’s say, and BC loses to Virginia Tech, FSU, or Miami, we might be looking at a SSMNC game involving USF and Hawaii. That would be retarded.