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Casey Must Return to Orlando

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Stating that not to require Casey Anthony to serve one year of probation for her check fraud conviction “would make the sentence a mockery of  justice,” Judge Belvin Perry today ordered that she return to Orlando no later than August 26.

Upon her return, assuming that she complies with the order, she will report to the Department of Corrections, where she will be compelled to agree with the terms of her probation. Just what this will “correct” is anybody’s guess. What it will serve to do, though, is refocus TMZ and other trash journalists, including amateurs like your own Turkey on Orlando instead of Columbus. But I digress.

Judge Perry had ruled that Ms. Anthony can keep her address secret. That means that soon, someone in the Department of Corrections who needs a couple of bucks will probably barf it up for the aforementioned yellow journalists. The Turkey does not pay for leads. You’d have to pay me to chase after that skank.

There were doubts as to whether the sentence meted out by Judge Strickland, the original judge in the check fraud case, was valid, as the wording in the original sentence was unclear. It was later amended by Strickland, leading to Anthony’s defense’s claim that it was contrived.

Judge Perry took on the case after Strickland recused himself. Perry originally called it all a mess, but in his comments today, he said that he viewed the amended sentence as a valid correction of a clerical error, and that videotapes and transcripts of the trial proved that the intent was a year’s probation once our Prevaricating Princess left jail. And so it is now ordered.

The Anthony defense team also brought up the double jeopardy issue while stating that the Mistress of Mendacity served her probation while incarcerated. Judge Perry dismissed this by stating that it would be impossible for her to comply with the standard 13 conditions of probation while in the slammer.

“To permit the Defendant, whose counsel was well aware that the probation was to begin upon the Defendant’s release from jail, to avoid serving probation now, would take a lawfully imposed sentence and make it a mockery of justice,” Perry wrote. “This would allow a defendant to take advantage of a scrivener’s error and be rewarded. This is not the message the courts want to send to the public or defendants.”

Of course, the argument that she had actually served her probation  while in jail was again advanced by the defense, but Perry asked if they were aware that she was serving probation at the time. The answer was no. Bummer. They wanted to apply her time in jail retroactively once they heard about the probation.

“It is very clear that the Defendant and her attorney knew she was to start her probation upon release from the Orange County Jail. Despite this fact, they took advantage of a scrivener’s error which started the probation while she was being held in the jail pending trial,” Perry wrote. “The defense should not be able to claim that they are now harmed by having the Defendant serve probation at this time.”

Anthony has been the subject of death threats and recently was tabbed as one of the most hated people in America. Judge Perry’s compassion shines through in the ruling that she may keep her address secret. This Turkey is impressed with the manner in which Perry has bent over backwards to protect defendants and jurors.

And now we wait for the next act of this five-act comedy to play out.

 

Casey Not Coming Thursday

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Awww. Judge Strickland, who probably bit off more than he could chew with the probation thing, recused himself from the ongoing mini-circus concerning Casey Anthony’s probation sentence, which if ruled proper would mean that Ms. Anthony would no prescription amoxicillin have to return to Orlando and stay here for a year. Our old buddy, Chief Judge Belvin Perry, has taken over the case. ???? ???? He’ll hear arguments by some familiar voices on Friday morning at 9 am.

At issue is a vague statement in the original sentencing documents that was later amended to make it apparent that by serving her time in jail the Muffin of Mendacity did not complete the probation portion of the sentence. Looking to put the kebash on this most recent strangeness, defense counsel filed an emergency motion to “quash, vacate, and set aside” Judge Strickland’s earlier ruling.

Many legal experts, such as WFTV’s loquacious Bill Shaeffer, feel that the probation was served by the Fabling Fabulist while she was in the hoosegow.  This morning on the dreaded Fox News, Judge Andrew Napolitano sided with Casey’s lawyers, stating that this seems like posturing by a judge (Strickland) seeking re-election, knowing that he’ll get plenty of media attention for it. He also said that this sort of thing doesn’t happen in places where judges are appointed instead of elected — people never tire of taking shots at Florida’s political processes — and if he were the judge, he would have recognized that Ms. Anthony had served the full sentence for the check fraud conviction plus the required probation period during her time in the Orange County jail. The Judge also mentioned that there were people in Orlando who wanted to kill the Nubile Necromancer. ???? ???? ??????? Thank you, Judge Napolitano, who has no discernible forehead, but instead has a salt-and-pepper Grandpa Munstersesque widow’s peak pointing at his unibrow.

Meanwhile, back at the Casey spotting game, it seems that our good friends at TMZ, who after all were the first to report that Michael Jackson had kicked the proverbial bucket of propofol, have spotted Ms. Anthony in Columbus, Ohio, high-tailing it on High Street, trying to fit in with the rest of the students at Ohio State. ????? ????? Either that or they’ve found a bespectacled look-alike in an OSU baseball cap who has about the same bra size as Casey. It is well known that Ms. Anthony has relatives in Ohio, and that a private jet owned by one of them, an Ohio auto dealer, left Orlando on the night of Casey’s release, ostensibly to return some golfers home from a Florida weekend sponsored by the dealer. The plane filed no flight plan. The rest is all conjecture. You can look at the TMZ paparazzipix here. You decide whether it’s the real Casey or a look-alike.

Come Back, Little Casey!

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Just when you thought that you could forget about our prevaricating media darling Casey, her name pops up again. This time, it is in connection with her check fraud case, in which she was found guilty of several counts in 2008.

Judge Strickland, who adjudicated that case, ruled this morning that although the Mistress of Mendacity had served her jail time for her crime, the punishment also included a one-year enforced probation provision, which requires that Ms. Anthony remain in Orange County for the duration.

Uh ohhhhhhhhh! Casey Alert!

She’s either going to have to come out of hiding or risk violating probation — perhaps going back to jail. It couldn’t happen to a nicer girl. Thank you, Judge Strickland.

“From my reading of this, she should be reporting to probation in Orlando probably within 72 hours,” Strickland said. “I suspect she’s going to be required to report to probation.”

You can expect that the vaunted “defense team” will be gearing up to fight this.

Stay tuned for further developments.