Two Tin Soldiers

by Ben Goldfarb on January 9, 2014

in Penn State Football

So, stalwart Penn State fans and media weenies froze their balls at the airport last night expecting Franklin to get off the plane with Joyner and Erickson. Unless they were going for the village idiot award, they came away disappointed.

Yeah, I know. The Scranton Times-Tribune said they offered Franklin the job. The “paper of record”, as it were. I’m laughing my ass off. That was last night. All the other weenies are hopping on that pseudo-scoop just so they’re not left out. People are hungry out there, and these yellow journalists are in the business of throwing scraps to foment a feeding frenzy. They all want to be right so they can say “I told you so.”

This all amounts to something Artificially Sweetened’s 12 year-old son might say when he is full of shit about something: “I’m pretty sure that …”

Alas. that sort of philosophy extends to the Twittiots, too. They all want to be the first to be right. Only thing is, they tweet six names and deny five when the real announcement is made.

“Sources”, “reports”, and confirmation of reports by sources are all we have now. Such bullshit!

Stay thirsty, my friends.

Eventually, calm and reason will prevail. Right now, believe nothing. We’ll all know soon enough. Until it is official, who the hell cares, anyway? I’m not going to be spewing conjectures and unofficial, steaming cow pies.

As we build up to orgasm, you get pumped up. Then you get the official announcement and roll over and smoke a cigarette.

Get back to work!

BigAl January 9, 2014 at 12:26 pm

The “field” is looking like the best bet. I don’t think Franklin accepts even if he’s offered the job. This is going to be a “What The Fuck” type of selection -probably some coordinator few people heard about.

The Nittany Turkey January 9, 2014 at 12:27 pm

That’s been my thinking all along. So, we’ll wake up some morning and find that Matt Millen is PSU’s new coach, because Jay Gruden is now off the market.

—TNT

l hamilton January 9, 2014 at 1:17 pm

Matt Millen…now there’s a real football meathead.

The Nittany Turkey January 9, 2014 at 1:19 pm

:)

l hamilton January 9, 2014 at 1:16 pm

So, I agree with you on all counts, NT. (I know you love it when a sentence begins with that) Why am I even wasting my time reading this and then commenting? IMHO the guy who will be selected for this job will be farther down the list. I think he will be a relative unknown. Whoever heard of BOB before he was selected? Unless you were a Pats fan or watched a lot of ESPN or Fox Sports. Let’s hope they don’t get another joker with ants in his pants who is another wannabe NFL coach where NFL really means Not For Long.

The Nittany Turkey January 9, 2014 at 1:19 pm

Many people were introduced to BoB when his sideline rant directed at Tom Brady hit YouTube and went viral. This caused a lot of Paternoites to recoil in horror.

One thing is for certain — Franklin won’t be interviewing with the Redskins because they hired Jay Gruden as their HC.

—TNT

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